So long farewell baby bye-bye...

Okay, I'm off.

Now you kids be good. Don't make me pull this blog over!

Post atcha again soon!

POLT = listening to the silence in his apartment before he leaves

Computers are more mysterious than pussies. All I know is, with both, when you push this button everything goes crazy! - Buddy Cole, The Kids In The Hall

Let me hear ya say, WOOF, mutha...

Got this comment today:

WOOOF. Polt. Thanks for sharing.Love your sense of humor. A new fan

This is from bufftuff, in regards to Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photo. Thank you, buff, glad you enjoy em. And thanks for dropping by the Palace. Please do so again soon...although I probably won't be here for a week or so......but nonetheless, cruise the archives, vote in the blogpoll, prop your feet up and make yourself at home. Just don't forget to replace the toilet paper if you use it all.

POLT = listening to "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith

Black coat, black shoes, black hat, Cadillac, yeah, the boy's a time bomb! - Rancid, Time Bomb

A little life from a morning cosmos, Toronto Tontos...

Well, kiddies, Uncle Polt's gonna be going away for a little bit. He's off for vacation, heading to the Great White North, eh? Yeppers, I'm headin to Toronto!

WHoooo-freakin-hooo!!!!!

I LOVE Toronto! It's got all the good of an American city, and none of the bad! People are polite, they hold doors open for you, they say hello, and please, and thank you. Crime is almost non-existant. They have theaters, museums, nightclubs, several awesome comic book stores, and a huge gay ghetto....or gayborhood, as I've heard them called. And there is very little smog, or homophobia or heat and I've yet to run into a far Right, Religious Radical, Christian Conservative Republican there. Thank GOD!

I'll be back next Thursday. I might post again this THursday before we leave, and if I can find a place, I might post from up there. But otherwise, this'll be it for a week. Geez, I hope I don't go through withdrawl!

To give you an idea of where i'll be, here's some photos of Toronto! Enjoy...I know I will!

POLT = listening to "The Harder They Come" by Paul Oakenfold

The arrival of children often means that sex will happen less often and at lower volumes.

It's a nice day for a white wedding...

So, tell me, why hasn't been like this at any wedding I've ever been to?
How do we go about getting this tradition started? I say ditch the throwing of the garter and just have the groomsmen drop trou! Who's with me?????

POLT = listening to "Tempted" by Squeeze

You think you're a man, but you're only a boy; you think you're a man, you are only a toy; you think you're a man, but you just couldn't see, you weren't man enough to satisfy me! - Full Frontal, Only A Man

Supermodel, you better work it girl...

On the way to work this morning, they discussing something on Supermodel Tyra Banks' talk show. And on the way home, they talked about Supermodel Naomi Campbell holding a press conference.

I just wondered, do you HAVE to add Supermodel to their name? Is it a title, like Mr. Smith or Dr. Smith, or Sister Mary Margaret? And what if you don't? Will they claw your eyes out with thier over laucquered nails, or impale you on their thin, but sharp elbows?

And what differentiates a "Supermodel" from your average everyday fashion model? How anarexic she looks? Flesh stretched so tightly over cheekbones they could cut you? The size of her attitude and ego? How many people she's blown to get where she is?

Hey, I'm just saying....

POLT = listening to "Like A Virgin" by Madonna

You can present the material, but you can't make me care. - Calvin & Hobbes

Blew out all the candles, wishing we'd come true...

File this under "Be Careful What You Wish For"...

So last night, the phone rang. I picked it up and said hello. The response I got was, "I want Testicular Tuesdays!" No, "Hey!"; no "Hello!"; no "Howya doin, buddy?". Nope. Just a demand for his own column on Tuesdays. Johnnie says he only wants 300 words. He refused, despite the full force of my persuasive powers, to send me any photos to post for the testicular column.

I suggested he start his own blog, but I was informed that would be lame. ???? Can't quite get the gist of that. If it's lame to have a blog, wouldn't it be even more lame to read one, and wouldn't it be even MORE lame to post to someone else's blog? There was some explanation about all that, but it never made sense to me. Perhaps he can comment on it some Testicular Tuesday in the future?

I informed him that if we started this, he'd need to send me something today, as it is now Tuesday. but I was informed he'll be out getting all shit-faced and will be unable to string a coherent sentence together, much less a "column". I'm sure he'll comment on that in his column.

So starting soon, there will be another regular feature here at the Palace....God help us all.

POLT = listening to "Longview" by Green Day

Dallas Cowboys are 2-1

"Where the hell did you come from?" "Daddy did a bad thing with Mommy and nine months later...." - Jack Hawksmoor, The Authority

I take the leftovers...

Just a few things I've got lying about here....

I found this site: http://www.shakeskin.com/Shakeskin/Gallery/Shaken/ and laughed my fat ass off. Thought of contributing....but nah...I'll just look. hehehhe....

This site: http://www.tetris1d.org/zigah/twinoo/twinoo.php is a fun littel test supposedly testing your right brain/left brain capability...but it didn't give me any results. Was fun to try though.

And I'm not gonna say much about this, cause I know what the harrassment is like, but I can't just let it pass...I quote, " Now, my 9ers are facing the cowgirls this week, so all i can say is GO 9ERS!!!!!!! " It must truly suck to have your rugged all male football team be so horrible as to be beaten by, um, a-HEM cowGIRLS. SO, you want some salt or ketchup to go along with that crow you're eatin?

POLT = listening to "It's A Fine Day" by Miss Jane

"What do you think, Smithers?" "I think women and seamen don't mix!" - Mr. Smithers, The Simpsons

The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all...

Hmmm, what a topic.......

Anyway, "The Godfather" Mark comments:

Fine! Make me choke on my donut and snort apple cider thru my nose. See if I care!In my mind the size of balls and the size of testicles are not especially related to each other. (The thought of Johnny's testicles....hmmm.....well, I better not go into that now.) I know many an old friend that had huge balls (and sometimes stupidity) where the testicles were actually very very tiny.As for the soccer or baseball team references they are beyond me so I didn't really understand them.Let me go blow the apple cider out of my nose again.

Well, I'm not certain one should be eating a donut and apple cider at the same time, but since you're off in the MidWest there, I suppose they have thier own strange customs....

I too have known someone with big balls, but very small testicles (quite a shame that was actually). We'll try to keep the sports references to a minimum here at the Palace. And yes....Johnnie's testicles are really not a subject for here...although should he wish to discuss the subject....in depth and in great intimate detail, I'm certain he knows how to contact both of us.

(Apple cider in your nostrils...probably burns more than cholronated pool water. tsk, tsk.)
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And then, Johnnie, himself, commented right after Mark's:

see, i'm a hit, the people have spoken and they love me. i should have my own weekly feature.damn i'm cool

Well, it's not so much you that's a hit. it's moreso your testicles that are a hit. If you wanna have your own weekly feature about your testicles, where you discuss them, or perhaps send photos, I'll certain post it for all your....ahem, fans to read. Perhaps along with Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photo, we could have, like, "Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie!" Or "Sweet Nut-in Saturdays, with Johnnie!" Or just "Ball Talk with Johnnie". "Johnnie's Testicular Tales"?

Any other suggestions?

POLT = listening to "Blue" by Eiffell 65

Watch out Metropolis! We've got a stolen car, a full tank of gas, and we ain't using turn signals! - Harley Quinn # 15

Puttin the pen to the paper....

A letter. Unfortunately, the people that should read this, probably won't.

To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:

On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?

How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?

That's right. Horse shows.

I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.

I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.
Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the #2 and #3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?

When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?

When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?

Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?

Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?
With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?

Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.

That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.

It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the window at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"

My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?

And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?

Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.

Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?

I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?

I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.

Yours,
Michael Moore

POLT = listening to "One More Time" by Daft Punk

Though I am not naturally honest, sometimes I am so by chance. - Shakespeare

Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photo
Obviously, the problems with Blogger have corrected themselves. And what a way to celebrate it, huh, by showing this photo!

POLT = Listening to "Supersonic" by Oasis

There's no such thing as a safe tribble. - Dr. McCoy, Star Trek, the Animated Series

Double trouble...

I've been having problems with Blogger now...it won't allow me to post photos, and it locks up on me and shuts down for no reason. I don't know if it's me or them, but my posts are likely to be sporatic until I can't get this addressed.

Thanks for your understanding.

POLT

We're having a party, everybody's swinging...

So, Saturday evening, i went to a party at my friend Jessica's. I used to work with her, and have been to like 5 or 6 parties at her place. She lives in an apartment above a store her father owns. The apartment is above the front of the store, and if you go out her kitchen window, you go onto the roof above the rest of the store, and it's quite cool.

Parties at Jessica's are always wild affairs! I remember loud music blaring from a stereo out on the roof; a grill on the roof going full blast, heating up burgers at dogs after midnight; beer pong table; kegs too numerous to count; hot guys running around shirtless, doing kegstands and look all hot and manly; at one party, a old discarded water heater was brought up the stairs, through her apartment and out onto the roof; there was pissing of the roof; 15 to 30 people at any one time on the roof or in the apartment; jumping off the roof after balls (the roof is only one story up); raucous conversations; card games; climbing to the roofs of neighboring building and going roof hopping; throwing a car tires off the roof and smashing a car's windshield below; the smell of some less then legal herb; and I met many people there that I still consider friends. I always knew at Jessica's parties, it was gonna be loud, drunken, shirtless-frat-boy type of fun. And it was!

Now, Jessica has a man, Michael. He's tall, slim, defined (which even though he was wearing a tee shirt, I could still tell). He's handsome (in the face) and sexy ( in the body). He's intelligent, well read and a good conversationalist. He's pleasant and witty. He's a lecturer at Penn State, AND he's a doctor.

I love Jessica to pieces, but she is SUCH a lucky BITCH! My GOD, he is just too perfect for words! I love her and hate her too! Envy is so unflattering in Uncle Polt. But OHMYGOD, she's got quite the catch. Below is a picture of them!
Is it any wonder she's smiling so much!

I think he's had something of a...stablizing influence on her. This party had about 10 people, we sat around the table on the roof (no keg, pong table or water cooler in sight), drank beer or wine, and conversed. Later, Jessica made tea (because she's pregnant and can't have alcohol), and made us cinnamon buns to snack on. We were there until a little after midnight, but it was much more...reserved than I was used to.

Oh, I still had fun, had a great time, actually, but a different kind of fun. ANd I'm glad Jessica found Michael, cause they're great together.

Woulda been nice though, to maybe see Michael running around without a shirt on.....

POLT = listening to "Show Me love" by Robin S.

Study real history, like the Crusades. Modern American history is just television. - The West Wing

Trouble...trouble me....

Well, kids, Uncle Polt and his trusty computer had some issues. It was running slower than an arthritic snail in molasses. Honestly, I think and abacus, chisel and stone would have been faster. SO I decided to do a scandisk and defrag. And, beacuse I can't recall the last time I did that, it took MUCH longer than expected. And then I had to leave before it was finished to go to a party, which I've just returned from. But now everything is up and running....except for Uncle Polt, who is extremely tired and going to bed.

But that's why I didn't post Saturday. And as I'll be busy most of Sunday, I'm not sure when I'll be able to post then either.

But have no fear, loyal reader, I'll get back in my stride here before long. Thank you for your patience.

POLT = listening to "Boogie Woogie" by Tommy Dorsey

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

Likes big words and playing pretend...

So I got two more comments. Firstly is this one from Phoenix,in regards to the prior blogpoll:

You can thank me for that. I saw you only had 9 votes so I made the warden vote to get you 10 total.

So, thank you Phoenix...and Mrs. Phoenix, for getting me 10 votes so I could close out the Fred Poll. It seemed like it took forever, even though it was only up like 2 weeks. The new one's only been up like two or three days and it's already got 7 votes! Go figure. I guess people would rather vote on the Palace than on Freds. Who knew?
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And then I have a comment from Johnnie (which I'll intersperse with my comments):

let me clear some things up. [Oh please do!]

yes i have gigantic testicles, [Well good, now I can put that question to rest in my mind]

as my actions have proven, [there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, or to remain with the same methaphor, a fine line between big balls and no brains]

but no my cat is not named after anything 49ers related. my cat is named "General Tso" because there's where all cats end up anyway. [49ers, Chinese food, whatever...like there's a difference. They're both overrated and make a lot of people sick]

I wouldn't demean my team by naming a cat after one of them. [okay...so did you demean yourself by getting a cat?]

Also, Montana's full name is "Montana Rice." [Oh, the horror, I forgot his second name...course, that does play into the Chinese food thingee I was using above......]

Now, my 9ers are facing the cowgirls this week, so all i can say is GO 9ERS!!!!!!! [ Okay, I think I'll take the word of someone stupid enough to go into Philly's stadium in full 49er's gear...testicular size notwithstanding.]

And ya know John, one should be careful using boasts and big words and promises and such, it's makes it all that more difficult when one has to eat one's words later on!

POLT = listening to "Hell's Bell" by Michael T. Diamond

A pretty face don't make no pretty heart. - Robert Palmer, Bad Case of Loving You

This is the part of me that needs medication...

SO, I finally decided to get my precriptions through the mail instead of at the drug store. I'm doing this because I can pay for two months, but get three months worth. Sounds like a good deal, huh?

They just arrived this afternoon. I opened the bag and yep, there they are. But the one pill I take is yellow-ish, and what they sent me is green-ish. Could just be a generic. I checked old bottle, and they have the same name...the old one just has a few letters added to the end of it. I wouldn't be too concerned about it, except that, they spelled my name wrong on the prescription. Yep, all three of them. And I sent them a form to start this where i had to PRINT all that stuff, and I know damn well I printed my name correctly. If they messed up the name, could they perhaps have messed up the prescription?

This is what's nice about going to a drug store, if I had a question like this, I could just ask the pharmacists there. But now, I gotta call somebody next week, and HOPE I get the right person, although realistically, I'll probably have to talk to 4 people and 3 automated menus before I get someone who even knows what I'm talking about.

I'll just ask the nurse at work about the prescription, if they're the same and all. And deal with the name change next week. *SIGH* gotta love progress.

POLT = listening to "All I Want Is You" by U2

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I think she's warming up...

- On the first day of autumn, it's 94 degress at 4:15 in the afternoon in the northeast,
- A monster hurricane slams into the Gulf Coast, cause damage on an apocolypic level,
- Less than a month later, another hurricane threatens roughly the same area,
- We've had so many hurricanes, we're likely to run out of names this year,

But yet, Global Warming is just unfounded worries by a bunch of crackpot enviornmentalists and alarmists scientist with nothing better to do.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

POLT = listening ot "Angel" by Massive Attack

No child has ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell the tale! - The Simpsons

I can't help it, you keep me drowning...

From Dennis Hamill, as posted on The Inside Dope:

"Now, with Bush's approval rating at 40%, with more than 50% disapproving of his handling of Iraq, the Security Moms and NASCAR Dads for Bush are silent. Even the Swift Boat Vets can't save Bush from drowning in his own ineptitude."

Yeah, where are the screaming hordes of Bush-can-do-no-wrong people, now? Can it be that they've finally realized, like a lot of us, that the emporer truly does NOT have any clothes?

POLT = listening to "Possession" by Sarah McLachlin

Men are like dogs: you can either train them or neuter them. - Karen, WIll & Grace

Oh, got some question about your life....

So, we FINALLY got 10 votes on the previous blogpoll, and the results were:

Freddie Mercury - 3 votes
Fred Murtz - 3 votes
Fred Flintstone - 2 votes
Fred Kromm - 2 votes
Fred Astaire - 0 votes

Thanks to all of you who voted. So now I have another blogpoll up there, and there it'll stay until we get 10 votes on it.

So, as they say in Florida, vote early and vote often!

POLT = listening to "Dancing Queen" by ABBA

Life is a bed of roses, except for the pricks.

Peck a-little, talk a-little, peck a-little, talk a-little...

So, recently, I went for my monthly Cut & Color (yep, Uncle Polt colors his hair. Gotta keep that grey under wraps until I hit 40. Anything under 40 is too young to show grey. And Linda does a great job of it, cuase my hair is natrually mousey brown, but my goatee is reddish, so she matches my hair to my goatee, and nobody knows the difference....) and along with Linda and myself, there were probably 8 more stylists there and about 4 other customers. One was a very handsome, well built young man of about 25 maybe 30. I think I heard him called Tony. I made sure that even though I had my glasses off and could only see him as a blur, i kept him in view in the mirror in front of me. And there was normal salon conversations taking place, no big deal.

So then, before Linda was done putting on the color, Tony finished, paid, and left. AFter the door shut, there was about a 3 minute time period of total silence, quite a change from the low level of noise that had been taking place. ANd then one of the stylists said, "Oh. My. God!" And another one added, "He is SO hot!" and the one that had been working on him said, "It's such a shame he's already married." ANd one of the customers said, "He is quite attractive."

And that's all I could hear, because the room erupted then with nearly every one in it making some comment to someone else about Tony. I know I wasn't saying anything because 1) I was shocked at how quickly everything changed and 2) I wsa still stuck in a fantasy involving me, Tony, electric razors, and a barbers chair. But I digress....

These women were no different than a group of guys talking about a hot chick. Okay, well maybe less graphic, but still... And women complain that men objectify and demean women with such things! Course, if any guy was deserving of objectifiation, it was Tony. but, again, I digress....

All I can say is, Ladies, people who live in glass houses ought not throw veiled comments and innuendo about!

POLT = listening to "Situation" by Yaz

It's not everyday that someone gets nominated for a Crystal Dick! That's huge! - Ted, Queer As Folk

Same as it ever was...

Sorry, guy, but Uncle Polt's still a bit tired and just doesn't feel like posting right now. Regular posting will resume tomorrow.

POLT = Listening to "I've Been Waiting" by Matthew Sweet

Insanity runs in my family...hell, it practially gallops.

Automatic yawns, when you do what you do...

Uncle Polt stayed up late last night for the game, and had to get up early for work today, so I'm pretty tired. Yawned all day at work. Nodded off a few times on the way home (good thing I commute...and the other person was driving!). So I don't know if I'm gonna post anymore today. Depends on whether I take a nap and what I feel like.

If not, your regular posting will resume tomorrow.

The Dallas Cowboys are 1-1. :(

POLT = Listening to "Frozen" by Madonna

If something's so complicated that you can't explain it to me in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway. - Calvin & Hobbes

Odds and ends, lost time in never found again...

So, I got a couple small things here, and instead of making 4 small posts, I'll just make one post with them all in it.

Firstly, let me give a shout out (wow...how MTV, huh? Who knew Uncle Polt had it in him?) to Aggie, who's sunning herself in the Mexican Riveria (aka Cancun) with her boytoy and a whole horde of cute young Mexican boys. Lucky bitch. Hope she gets a sunburn in her nether region. Just kidding, sweetie! Love you more than a new set of snow tires!

It seems she's gonna be a world traveling jet-setter. She's in Cancun from last Saturday until this Thursday, then next Thursday, she leaves for Toronto, returning the following Wednesday. And then sometime in October, she's going on a cruise to Bermuda. Oh, don't we all feel sorry for her, and how tired she'll be after ALL this nasty vacationing. Check out her blog and leave a comment with your sympathies. hehehe....
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My Fairy Godfather left a comment recently, in regards to the photo I posted of the nearly naked Sebastian:

Yep! Sebastian Bonnet has been my favorite Bel Ami model (and actor) since they started putting out videos. My ultimate fantasy guy. (wink)

So, if anyone knows Mr. Bonnet personally, and can afford to fly him here from the Czech Republic, I know a place he can visit in Michigan for some fun and...relaxation. I'm just saying...
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If i had any reason to doubt that my lil buddy Johnnie had testicles, or the size of them, that has now been resolved. It seems Johnnie went to the Eagles - 49ers game IN Philly on Sunday. Okay, no big deal about that, except that he went in full 49ers regala...big 49ers jersey, probably 49ers cap, and sweatpants with their logo on them too. hell, he was probably wearing 49ers undies. This guy is a huge fan. (He even named his dog Montana. No not for the state, but for Joe Montana. ANd he named his new cat something about the 49ers too, I think, but hell, she's a cat, and since they ARE the spawn of satan, like I'm really gonna pay any attention to stuff about her anyway. But I digress...)

So he rides the subway to the stadium, and goes inside, with only one friend along to watch his back. (the friend, i am told, wisely wore Eagle gear) And aside from some somewhat rude comments, he returned home unscathed. But considering the way the fans in the "City Of Brotherly Love" (always thought that applied more to San Francisco than Philadelphia, but I digress again...) treat some opposing teams and thier fans, I did have some fear the boy might not make it through the experience.

The fact the Eagles trounced the 49ers something like 42-3 probably helped keep him safe. When you're team is losing that badly, and never a threat, why heap on more embarassment?

Nonetheless, by just doing this in the first place, I have a newfound respect for the boy.
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ANd speaking of football, Washington comes to Dallas tonight for Monday Night Football! Whoo-hooo! God I hate the Redskins, and the arrogance of thier fans as well. Course, growing up a Cowboy fan in Redskin territorial probably has something to do with my feelings on that subject. Nonetheless, I wanna be shouting all night: How 'Bout Them Cowboys!

POLT = listening to "Say Something" by James

I'm not here to make the world smell better. - Steve-O, Jackass

Built by my grandfather's hand....

At the baptism yesterday, I actually got emotional. Not over the baptism itself, though. I wasn't going to post this, as it's not funny, and a bit personal, but hell, if I can't trust you, my faithful readers to understand then who CAN I trust?

Anyway, we were sitting in church, prior to the service starting, and they were talking about Cam, and how he's started gripping things. his grandfather, MY uncle, said he was out looking for a baseball bat for him, but all he could find was a small golf club. And Cam may take up golf later on, but he wants him starting out with a real sport. And that caused a chuckle amongst us.

And then my grandmother, who was sitting beside me, said, "That sounds like pap." My grandfather, her husband, who passed away in 1998. I was born on a Satruday at 200 pm. She and pap and my mom's sister and brothers all came to the hospital when dad called them, and they checked on me, mom and dad too. And then, Pap left.

Gram said he went to a local store before it closed and bought me the smalled sized baseball bat and glove he could find. She said he brought them back to the hospital and put them in mom's room so everytime I was in to nurse, I'd see them.

Pap was a huge Boston Red Sox fan, and always into baseball. He coached both his sons in Little League and stuff, and was the team "dad" if you know what I mean. He made trips several times a year to Baltimore to watch the Orioles play. He even coached one of his grandons (not me) in Little League also.

And me, his first grandchild, whom he bought the glove and bat for, well, other than being forced to do it in gym class, I might have picked up a baseball bat ten times in my life. I jsut dont like baseball, never have.

I never knew Pap bought me that stuff. I never heard that story before. I don't recall ever owning a bat or a glove. And I certainly never played in Little League or anything similiar.

And that's why I got somewhat emotional. It touched me that Pap would run out, leave the hospital to make to a store to get them. And then, I never used them. i wondered, did I disappoint him? I mean, he never expressed disappointment and I know he loved me. But now I just wonder if I disappointed him. And, as I said I thought it very sweet that he got that stuff for me.

Okay, now look, I don't beleive in ghosts or anything, I turly dont. but then, right there in that church that I've only ever been in once before for my cousin's wedding, I felt something. I don't know how to describe it other than to say a...presence. I mean it wasn't anything physical, but it felt like someone was patting me on the back, mayeb putting thier arm around me and telling me it's okay, it's alright. I felt comforted and safe, and content. Almost like Pap was there. I have no better way to describe it. maybe I imagined it all. But it was then that I got all emotional. And my eyes welled up with tears, but I didn't cry or anything. Didn't want it to seem like I was crying over a baptism.

It was freakish, and maybe I imagined everything.

But I hope not. Seriously.

POLT = listening to "Hey Man, Nice Shot" by Filter

I used to be the future President of the United States. - AL Gore

10th week...

Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photo

I dont know if you can see it or not, but he's wearing a cap with the Superman "S" on it. For me, that just makes the whole ensemble! heheheh....

POLT = listening to "Candy Everybody Wants" by 10,000 Maniacs

I know you guys think I'm a just a nelly retail queen, but I make it my business to know everything about lugnuts. - Emmett, Queer As Folk

If I promise to go to church on Sunday...

So, kids, Uncle Polt went to church this morning...and surprisingly he did not sponaneously combust, nor did the church explode. Who knew?

My cousin's 5 month son Cameron, was getting baptized. So because it was for him, despite the early hour AND the long drive AND the fact it was a Sunay AND there was football, despite all that, I got got ready and went anyway.

The service was held at the Methodist church, in my cousins town. I gotta tell you, as should probably be obvious, I am not a big fan of organized religion. I have never liked listening to a boring man, drone on and on and on on a Sunday morning when I'd rather be sleeping.

But this service, was absolutely THE best, THE most interesting service I have ever been a part of. Firstly, the sermon itself lasted perhaps 15 minutes, if that long. But the message got across. And the Pastor did not just stand behind the pulpit, reading from his notes. no, he was walking around, and speaking just as if he was in your home talking to you. He interrupted himself to tell a funny, true analogy that made his point. He was funny and laughed and was just a riveting speaker.

Early on in the service, he told us to greet and welcome each other. And in the church I attended previously, that meant saying hi to the people in your pew and the pews in front of you and behind you. Oh not here! Here, people got out and wandered to the other end of the church to greet people. The choir came down from their seats and ciruclated around and greeted people. Now maybe this isn't unusual in your church, but the one I used to go to, it was much more...staid, and traditional.

But then, I think I was probably about the average of the parishioner in this church. My old church, I wsa some 20 years younger than the average age, I'd say.

so, the choir sang, and they collected the offering. Then, the pastor sat on the top step leading up to the area where the pulpit and choir were. And he called for all the children. And something along the lines of 30 kids or so came running up. They sat on the stairs with him, and on the floor in front of him. And he did a short little sermon related to the main one he was giving. And the kids were watching intentively. It was great. After this, about half the kids left, and the other half lined them selves up and sang. The youth choir had kids from like 7-11 or so. ANd they were all adorable.

As an aside, the future fag of the choir was quite ovbious to me: khaki pants, blue button shirt (with tail immaculately tucked in), hair combed just so...and the clincher...he kept time with his clapping, never losing the beat, and he swayed side to side, and clapped side to side as well, while singing. He just screamed future fag to me. It was cute.

After this is when the pastor gave his sermon and we were outta there. Oh there were hymns, and the baptism, and singing and stuff, but the whole service lasted like 60 minutes or so. And I was riveted by it all.

If i lived closer, I MIGHT be inclined to visit the church more often...depending on how thier politics (if any) were. And THAT, kids, is really saying something!

POLT = listening to "History Repeating" by The Propellorheards
P.S.
below is a photo of me and the baptism boy.

I can't believe I just drank that! Your water tastes like ass! - Malcolm, Scotland PA

You're the most beautiful thing...

My GOD....but ain't that the truth?????

Nuff said!

POLT = listening to "Clocks" by Coldplay

"He's old." "Yeah, but old guys take longer to cum and have lots of money." - Emmett, Queer As Folk

Casper, the friendly ghost...

Phoenix comments on a recent post, specifically, this one:

( ) had a tree house
( ) scared to watch a scary movie alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking

And he writes:

What! With a name like Polt and ya don't even believe in ghosts! Who'da thunk it...

Oh I don't believe in just ANY ghost, but I believe in ME, cause I am THE Polt, not just any polt.
And you watch your comments there, mister, afore I unleash the full brunt of the Polt Chaos on you!

POLT = listening to "On The Wheel" by Curve

God made homosexuals, so he must love them. I love them too! - Sophia Loren

Hellspawn, dissevering your flesh...

See, I TOLD you they were the spawn of Satan!

Why won't you people beLIEVE me?????

POLT = listening to "Harbanera" from the opera Carmen, by Bizet

The family only need one Liza, and Peter has better legs than I do. - Lisa, Drop Dead Gorgeous

Faded, this I feel....

This was posted on www.faggotyassfaggot.com, which could be offensive, except the guy is gay and extremely, acidicly funny! Anyway, this is what he posted:

Lately, whenever I see one of those omnipresent red-white-and-blue patriot or yellow "Support Our Troops" magnetic Wal-Mart car ribbons, more often than not I find that after nearly four years of continuous application in sun, smog and hail, they have faded to a mere white outline imprinted with almost illegible text.

I can't help but wonder if there's a message there somewhere.

All I can say is "Amen, brother!"

POLT = listening to "I Don't Want To See The Sights" by The Charlatans U.K.

Don't ever cry on my tights or pull my leg again. - Batman, The TV Series

Cos it dont talk back...

Well, have I got comments? I got a whole horde of them here. And I'll share them...

Firstly, we have Aggie, who writes:

Congras on your 1000 visitor.Love the marriage icon and thanks alot for posting my pic again of dancing with the straight boys trying to dance.

Thank you. I like it too. Found it on another blog and from there, found the site to go to. And no problem with the reposting of the "grinding" photo. I thought I should have at least one that showed a girl dancing and, well, despite all the photos I have, we all know there ain't gonna be too many of chicks dancing in them. So I used what I had. I knew you wouldn't mind.
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My Fairy Godfather writes, in regards to the 1000th visit party:

!!!!!!!!!....and you didn't invite me?????I'm not angry....just terribly terribly annoyed. LOL.

Your invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. (They DO have mail services to those trailer parks out in the woods in the middle of nowhere michigan, right? Not that I have anything against trailer parks. Hell, I got a couple cousins who were probably concieved up against a double wide!) ANyway, I was just waiting fo you to read about it an make your entrance to the party, as any good queen will. And by then, all the hot guys would be there, and you could have your pick of them. yeah, that's it!
***********************************************************
And next we have some comments from my fellow blogger from the Great White North, Lone Primate:

( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) blown bubbles
No, but I've written a letter to bubbles and blo-- oh, nevermind. :)

Bwahahahhahaah!!! See, THIS is why I love this guy! hehehehe..... (bet ya got that pony for Christmas one year though, didntcha?)

I still can't understand why I haven't seen the word "impeach" on any US newspaper sites. Clinton abuses a White House cigar and Congress shakes it like a rag doll for two years, but this guy contributes to the deaths of maybe 10,000 Americans and nothing? Shouldn't he be in a hole somewhere beside bin Laden, for Christ's sake??

Well, having a Congress, who starts impeachment procedings, run by the same party as Bushie goes a long was to explaining it. And really, would Cheney be any better? and he can't be in the spider hole with bin Laden...that's where they hide Cheney when they dont to trot him out before the cameras.

Communism and impotency in the same thought.'S got kind of a Chinese flavour to it, doesn't it? :)

Hmm, Communism and impotency...no I always associate like General Cho's Chicken with Chinese flavor. hehehhe.....

ANyway, thanks for the three responses, Lone. Hope the weather's nice up there, as in two short weeks, I will be in Toronto! WHoo-hooo!

POLT = listening to "Let's Get Retarded" by the Black Eyed Peas

A chicken with it's neck wrung is different from a chicken with it's head cut off, but does it matter to the chicken? - Palin, Dragonlance Tales #1

Share all our dreams under a Communist moon...

SO, I got this piece of spam yesterday from a Ron Wagoner, subject line was Re[7]:. I have no idea why I opened it, but this is what is said:

Most likely communism can't be established. But impotency can be treated!
Go on, give it a try. You'll sure enjoy it!SPUR-m [Sperm pills]: (some site I'm not listing)
Discreet, unmarked packaging.
>>> NB: No prescription required

I looked at that, and then looked it again, and then broke out laughing! Communism and impotency in the same thought. God, how funny! ANd most likely, it cant be established. Most likely! hehehehehe, still get a chuckle out of it.

POLT = listening to "Hanging By A Moment" byt Lifehouse

Being unattached on Valentine's Day was something like being Jewish on Christmas. - Paul Reidinger, The City Kid

Did ya ever think, ya ever know...

Another one of these lists of things that seem to circulate around blogs. I don't know how many people read these lists, but I enjoy doing them, so I'm gonna do this one too. ( I think you're supposed to put an x or checkmark or something by the ones you've done, but for me, it's just easier to bold the ones I've done, so that's what I'll do.

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
( ) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
( ) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
( ) lied to a friend
( ) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
( ) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) eaten sushi
( ) been skiing
( ) been at a concert
( ) taken painkillers
( ) love someone or miss someone right now
( ) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had detention
( ) had a tea party
( ) flown a kite
( ) built a sand castle
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
( ) cheated while playing a game
( ) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
( ) watched the sun set
( ) questioned your heart
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) slept beneath the stars
( ) been tickled
( ) drank absenthe
( ) been robbed
( ) been misunderstood
( ) petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo
( ) won a contest
( ) run a red light/stop sign
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
( ) liked the way you looked
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
( ) been lost
( ) been on the opposite side of the country
( ) swam in the ocean
( ) felt like dying
( ) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) worn pearls
( ) recently colored with crayons/colour pencils
( ) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
( ) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came outof your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) walked in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
( ) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone rollerskating
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
( ) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) kissed a fish
( ) sat on a roof top
( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
( ) stayed up all night
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) scared to watch a scary movie alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
( ) played gay chicken (I truly have no idea what the hell this is, but i feel rather certain I've done it at some point in my life...and if not, I want to!)
( ) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
( ) broken a bone
( ) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( )caught a butterfly
( ) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
( ) cheated on a test
( ) forgotten someone's name
( ) french braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub

Hmm, yeah that one wasn't so interesting (except for the gay chicken thing, whatever that may be).

POLT = listening to "Last Night" buy The Strokes

And so, in my State of the - My State of the Union - or state - my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation - I asked Americans to 4000 yeasr - 4000 hours over the next - the rest of your life - of service to America. - George W. Bush

1000 more fools are being born every fucking day...

HEY, I just, earlier today, had my 1000th visit!!!

WHOO-HOOOO! Party! Party at Polt's Palace!

The Palace is open to any visitor! Stop by and enjoy!

Some guests are already here, the party's in full swing!

We've got beer and liquor, even a keg!

Or you could BYOB!

We've got food! And helpful wait staff to take your orders, bring it to you and clean up afterwards.
So bring along your girl...er, boy....er whatever....

And don your party apparel! We have games!
There'll be entertainment provided!

We have a DJ! There'll be dancing! A hot tub is available. The authorities have been taken care of! Don't drink too much, or bad things could happen. Our bathroom facilites accomadate plenty. You need to shower, we can help there too. And if you want to stay and sleep over, we can take care of that too!

***********************************************************
Seriously, everyone, thanks! It's amazing to think that ANYONE would read my lil ole blog, but to get 1000 visits in less three months, and go from 900-1000 in 6 days kinda boggles my mind. I shall endeavour to continue to give you guys a reason to return.

Thanks, seriously, I'm touched!

POLT = listening to "Just Can't Get Enough" by Depeche Mode

You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man. - Kathleen Turner, Body Heat

Fuck, said fuck, fuck, said fuck the facts...

(Despite the apparently hostile tone of the title of this post, I am no upset nor angry. I found that line of music, and laughed at it, and it WAS appropriate, so I used it. No anger is implied)

Johnnie Just The Facts [hey, that's how he wrote it. Although I do find it humorous that he complained that I didn't write it as Johnny, and now he's doing with an "-ie" himself, hehehe] comments on my last post:

This scenario has been known for about 15 years. No escape route could ever be developed because the city is below sea level and surrounded by levies. The only real blame that can be cast in recent years is the decrease in funding to FEMA because of increased defense budget and the appointment of the inexperienced brown to director after the last director complained about the cuts. If you're going to blame a president for not making a special effort for this case, start with the first bush and clinton and then move on to W.

Well, Mr. Just The Facts, let's talk a look at a few shall we? I am unaware of FEMA under the first Bush (other than he shut the government down around Christmas one year, causing some financial concerns for my family, cause mom's works for FEMA). I am aware that during CLinton's term, FEMA was fully funded, run by James Lee Witt, who spent his career in Arkansas Emergency Management (not raising Arabian horses or whatever the hell Brown was doing), and could handle emergencies, like Hurricane Andrew who ripped through Florida and Louisiana. There wasn't a four day wait for Federal aid. hell, my mother was sent to Louisiana sooner than that, and all she was doing was processing forms, not rescuing people or fighting fires or what have you.

Yes, New Orleans has levees, said to be able to withstand class 3 hurricanes. I can't speak for funding during the first Bush or CLinton (or Reagan or Carter either for that matter) as I have no stats on funding requests for levee improvements during that time. but I DO know that last year, the Army Corps of Engineers requested somwhere in the neighborhood of $150 million to upgrade the levees and allow them to withstand class 5 hurricanes. And I know that Bushies, in his quest for more money to Iraq and Halliburton, cut that to $20 million. ANd Congress, in their infinitie wisdom went along with it, and not only that, but they approved $231 million for a bridge in Alaska that will reach and island with only one small community on it. The reason? Ted Stevens of Alaska is the ranking member of the transportation committeee and inserted the pork for his constiuents.

Nevertheless, Mr. Facts, all of this isn't the main point I think people were making. I understand there is plenty of blame to go around prior to the storm hitting. Local, State, and federal government didn't do enough to get the people out of New Orleans.

My problem is with the callous disregard the Federal GOvernment had following the hurricane. For Brown to claim, on THURSDAY, after three days of all of us watching the news reports out of New Orleans, for him to claim that FEMA just found out about the people at the convention center THAT morning, is an outright lie. It's a serious break from reality. And for Bushie to soon thereafter applaud Brown by saying, "You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie" is inane. The man is not in touch with reality and niether is the majority of his government.

And the worst part is, we've got three more years of this moron. And impeaching him? How is that any better? God, that would give us President Cheney. well, I mean, that's practically what it IS now, but, you know what I mean.

God help us all.

POLT = listening to "Modern Love" by David Bowie

You get my tits in a knot, sunshine, and you're gonna be in deep shit! - Debbie, Queer As Folk

I predict a riot, I predict a riot...

Bushie claims that no one knew this sort of thing could happen to Katrina. that is a blatant lie. FEMA reports made this know years in advance. And it was reported widely.

if you're interested there is an article on it in National Geographic from last year, which eeriely predicts things almost exactly as they happened.

It is right here.

After reading this, which was based on the report, you'll know people DID know it would happen, and the results thereof. So either the people that SHOULD be reading those reports, are not reading them, or they are ignoring them. Either one of which is unpardonable.

POLT = listening to "There's No Other Way" by Blur

Why is it that the people most outraged when government puts its hand in your pocket for taxes are often the people quickest to applaud when the government sticks its nose into your bedroom?

I love my Swedish fish, he's my secret wish...

(Oh my, who knew there was actually a song about Swedish fish? But it's by Veruca Salt, so there you go!)

Got an comment from Mark, the Fairy Godfather. he writes:

What was that about Swedish Gummy fetishes?? Do other people share this fetish with you?

Poor man. See with age, comes many things, including hearing loss. or maybe it's reading comprehension he's lacking. Could need those ole' eyes checked again. At any rate, it was about Swedish fish, not fetish. Although, I'm certain someone somewhere has a Swedish Gummy fetish. And actually, if I could find a hot Swede willing to lather himself in melted Gummy bears...well, hell, that's not a bad fetish after all!

POLT = listening to "Stop The World" by Big Big Sun

"What's the matter with you?" "He's got razor burns on his balls." - Brian, Queer As Folk

Since I'm already screwed, here's a message to you...

You tell em, girlfriend!

Polt = listeneing to "Muzzle" by The Smashing Pumpkins

The Dallas Cowboys are 1-0!

We were at the beach. Everybody had matching towels. Somebody went under a dock, and there they saw a rock. But it wasn't a rock, it was a ROCK LOBSTER! - The B-52's, Rock Lobster

We finally got a piece of the pie...

So, I was looking around the Site Meter site (it's amazing what you can find when you look around) and I discovered that not only did it show the time zones (which is the graph I posted before) but it shows a pie chart of the countries my visitors are from. And here below, it is:

I hope you can all read it well enough. And a hearty, "Welcome, thanks for stopping by, eh?" to the 8% visitors I have that are Canadian. Love the country, love you guys. Brazil, Singapore, Portugal...geez, who knew the influence Uncle Polt has.

POLT = listening to "I Know It's You" by The Crystal Method

Too many midnight snacks not only leads to an empty refrigerator, but also to buttocks the size of Texas. - Opus, the penguin

Week 8...

Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photo

Were I to be assured of seeing this everytime, I would go to the beach more often!!

POLT = listening to "Show Me Love" by Robin S.

These were merely Italians of their time, who, fathering children as was required of them, and debauching women any chance they got, nevertheless appreciated a plump and juicy young man. - The Vampire Armand

Take an educated guess on me...

It seems Uncle Polt greater overestimated the time involved in this training. The trip down is not INTO Baltimore, as I thought, but to a place before we'd reach Baltimore. The whole drive down was one hour. Nothing like I thought it would be. And it seems the instuctors wrapped it up this afternoon at about 3:20 pm, so that's when we got out. And tomorrow, we don't need to be there until 9:00, instead of 8:00, so that's means I wont have to get up until 6:30, unlike today, which was 5:30.

Oh, and there's a story too! (isn't there always?) the alarm went off at 5:20, as planned. I was going to get up shower, and eat breakfast at the house. But, no, I thought I'll go back to sleep for 15 minutes more and catch breakfast at McDonald's drive through. So I reset the alarm and went back to bed to lay down and slowly wake up for 15 minutes. Then i got up, showered, got my stuff together and was out the door at 5:58 am.

I got to McDonalds, drove by the windows to see there was no one inside at the counter, so if the drive through was too long, I'd just go inside. I got around to the ordering maching, or whatever it is, and there was no one there. SO I placed my order. Drove to the first window, paid the girl and got my change. Then I pulled up behind the SUV that was already at the window and I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited, some more. FINALLY, they handed everything out to the vehicle and off it went. I drove up to the window. She handed me my drink and I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I mean, it's not like I asked for anything special! It was the Number 4 Combo meal: a sausage biscuit with egg, has brown and a Coke. And I already HAD 1/3 of it. I wasn't asking for soemthing without ketchup, or with extra onions, or some burgers done medium well or anything, I was just wanting a freaking SAUSAGE BISCUIT! Oh, I got to fuming. I mean, what the HELL could possibly take to LONG??? There was a cute guy working there running the registers I could see, about 20, 5'9 maybe, 140, thick black hair, vaguely Greek looking, tight waist, nice bubble ass. yes, that distracted me momentarily (....okay, longer then momentarily, but I digress...), but then I went back to fuming.

Finally, she picks up a bag and walks to window. But she says, "Oh, could you pull up and I'll bring it right out to you." I look at her dumbfounded for a second and then swearing under my breath, I pulled forward.

SO now I was sitting up there a bit, while the TWO vehicles behind me got their food and pulled around me and left. And time was ticking away. Finally, then she walked my food out, she put it in the window and thanked me. Not mention or apology made for made for the delay. ANd had I not already been late, I feel certain I would have said something.

I was at the damn drive through for 11 minutes. 11 MINUTES! Now that may not seem like a long time, but Christ when you're late for something, it's an eternity. And in 11 minues, God, I could have gone inside, ordered my food, ATE it all and probably been back on the road in 11 minutes! I figured I there was no way I was gonna get from the McDonalds in Waynesboro to my workplace in Hagerstown in 15 minutes. And there wasn't. But I made it in 17 minutes! That's a drive that normally takes 35 minutes in 17 minutes. Granted there wasn't a lot of traffic on the roads at that hour, but what helped more I think, was going roughly 90 MPH on I-81. That certainly made up time. And I got there just 2 minutes late. Which, for me, is actually somewhat early.

POLT = listening to "Jump Around" by House Of Pain

That is one fudged up little cracker. - Chef, South Park

I'm sorry, oh so sorry...

Well, kids, Uncle Polt might not be posting much for the next couple days. Today I was out of the house all day and this is gonna be my only post, and tomorrow and Tuesday, I have training...in Baltimore...at 8:00 AM! The means, i have to get my sorry fat ass outta be at like 5:30 each day, and probably wont get home until like 6:30 or so at night. So I don't know how much time, or energy, I'll have to post. Course, since I'm not driving, at least I can sleep on the way down and back.

At any rate, in case there's not too many posts upcoming, you'll understand why. Possibly Tuesday, definately Wednesday, I'll be back to old posting ways.

Now you kids behave while I'm off being educated!

POLT = listening to "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam

"So, your friend, Mr. Crabtree...is he gay?" "Most of the time he is." - Grady Tripp, Wonder Boys

We get down, uh, uh, uh, uh - SWITCH...

Got a comment from Aggie today. She writes:

Love all the pictures
Glad you liked em. I hoped they soothed you as they did me.
....Especially Rafy.....

It seems like you are taking on all stresses of life, and I am the one who is not worrying and stressing.How weird is that.

Yeah that is pretty weird...me stressed, you not...up is down, black is white, yes is no, Bush is president....AHHHH, nothing is as it should be! Stop it, stop it! The horror!

(getting down off the melodrama box)

If anyone's interested, Aggie got her own lil blog at this place right here if you wanna go check it out too.

Oh, and Aggie, I never did get a chance to thank you for the fishies. I LOVE Swedish gummy fish! Mmmmmmm. And had I know already skarfed them all down like a chum to a shark, I'd have a photo handy to post of them. Well, maybe next time.

POLT = listening to "Optimistic" by Radiohead

Remember the old saying: Feed a cold, starve a lawyer.

Aw sugar, sugar, aw honey honey...

Found this on another blog, and it IS apparently a REAL ad. Dont know where though. hehehehehehe.
I'm not sure exactly what they're selling, but I did laugh at the way they're selling it.

POLT = listening to "Smack My Bitch Up", Prodigy

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. - Oscar Wilde