Dining in and eating out...

This past week, I had some interesting experiences in eating out. (NOT the sex act, going out for a meal)

Wednesday, Phoenix and I went to The Texas Roadhouse. The food, as always, was outstanding, as was the company. My only issue that night was, I was using the knife to cut the bun in half, and apparently I don't know my own strength, cause it went right through the bun...and into my pinky finger. Made a nice slice, a bit deep too. They use small square paper things to set your drinks on there, I went through TWO of those, trying to stem the bleeding. And I ended up having to ask the waitress for a band-aid. I told Phoenix that the knife doesn't have anything on it saying "Warning:Knife is sharp! May slice fingers!" And since it's not there, I could make a mint if I sued! He assured me I would own the place if I tried. Despite all the carnage, I recovered nicely, thanks for asking.


Thursday, I recieved a call from A Local Celebrity, Mr. David Parispeking, telling me that he was on his way home from work, and they wife left him a message saying she's got the girls and their out with friends and/or family, and he'd need to "call Polt or one of your loser friends and go get something to eat."

How flattered was I? Not only did she mention me by name, she named me before, and more importantly, seperately from his 'loser friends'. So we decided to met at Applebees here in the town I live in. I got there at 6:00 as planned. ALCMDPP got there about 6:15...because he went to the WRONG TOWN! Allow me to get your distances from the Internets:

Home of ALCMDPP to my house: 9.41 Miles - 17 minutes
Home of ALCMDPP to the Applebees in my town: 11.2 miles - 20 minutes.
Home of ALCMDPP to the other town he ended up in: 15.1 miles - 32 minutes.

I've included a helpful map...the purple dots are the locations indicated.


Can you see why I mocked him mercilessly when he finally arrived???

Anyway, once he finally arrived, we had a very pleasant meal. Pleasant conversation, fun times, good food, what more could you ask for, except for a cute waiter with a hairthing in nothing but a Speedo...but then this IS Applebees, so that's not gonna happen.

After we finished eating, we went to Wal-Mart. I needed to get a few Christmas gifts for my young cousins. ALCMDPP needed to get a few things.

• He needed to get his daughter a "pretty pink princess" gift, because she's being potty-trained (don't ask). I convinced him to get her a pair of Barbie princess slippers, which he was ambivalent about. I convinced him by pointing out that I, as a gay man, know a lot more about princess gummy slippers for girls than he does. He could not argue the point.
• He needed to get new windshield wipers. I found the section for him, but he had questions about which ones he needed. As I offered he instructed me, "Hey, Little Johnny Gay, just stand back, this is NOT your area." Car parts...yeah, he's right. So I did. Without my help, he found the right kind, and even more surprising to me, he put them on himself, and correctly.
• He got a call from the missus, who told him he needed peaches. So, then I got to hear, repeatedly, the Peaches song by The Presidents Of The United States Of America. Hate that song. But what amazed me was that ALCMDPP knew the song, like ALL the lyrics! How horrible is that????

After this, we went to Dairy Queen for some dessert, and then we seperated and then each returned home....I trust he didn't travel home via Baltimore or Philadelphia, or Chicago or anyplace like that...

Friday, I was here at home, and it was about 6:30 when I decided to make a TV dinner. I put the dinner in the microwave, punched in the alloted time, and pushed start....and immediately was plunged into total darkness. Tripped the damn breaker. This is what I have to go through the fix it:

• I had last used the flashlight in the bathroom, and I left it there. So, in total darkness, I walked through the kitchen, dining room, living room, hallway, bedroom and into the bathroom where I found it.
• Since at the point I was only wearing socks, I had to get back into the bedroom and find a t-shirt and pair of shorts and get them on (the flashlight helped)
• I had to make it back through the darkness to the kitchen, and locate the key to the backdoor, which is in the kitchen. Unlock and unchain the door.
• Walk down two flights of narrow stairs to the closet on the first floor where the boxes are. I had to move a few summer chairs to reach mine. Then open it and flip the switches.
• I shut the door and went back up two flights of stairs...only to realize I had only pushed the switches one way, and had not put them back...thus, still no power.
• So, back down two flights of stairs to the closet, and turning them back on.

Wasn't even hungry by then.....

Today, though, I went to Mama Polt's for lunch and had a DELICIOUS meal being frought-less of peril. And the warmth of the wood stove. And the pleasing smells of her Christmas cookies and other snacks she was making. That all makes all the problems earlier in the week worthwhile.

POLT

Listening to "NBC Football Night In America"