Fridays' Guest Post - Craiggers from Puntabulous

Today's Guest Post is from someone that needs no introduction, cause everyone should already be reading his blog. And if you're NOT, get thyself over there right freakin' now! I'll wait for you to return. Seriously, go!

.......(hum, de dum)......(whistling tunelessly).........(cracking knuckles)..................

Back? See, now wasn't that worth it? Now, check out the hilarity he's bestowed on us here!

GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF POLT

Hey everyone! Craig from Puntabulous here! Butt sex is like Christmas: Tis better to give than to receive. Or at least that's what Polt wants you to believe he believes. Yes, that's right, Polt says he's a top. For those of you out there unfamiliar with butt sex terminology, there is the Top (giver), the Bottom (receiver), and those who are Versatile (they like it both ways). Now if you've been paying attention to Polt's blog the way I have (focusing solely on the sex posts) you will know that Polt likes to talk about giving it to super cute Asians with hair things. I'm still not sure what a "hair thing" is, but I assume it's something to grab hold of while you're giving it to them. You know, besides that other holding onto thingy.

But let's face it: Polt is not a top. He is the bottomingest bottom who ever bottomed, otherwise known as a Power Bottom. Oh, there I go with fancy terminology again. What is it with gays and their terminology? It's like text messaging, we just can't get enough of it. How do I know Polt is a bottom, you ask? Well I'll tell you.

1. Like S.C.U.B.A., many people don't know that Polt is also an acronym. So it's not Polt's Palace, it's P.O.L.T.'s Palace, and P.O.L.T. stands for: Putting Out Like a Tramp. We all know it's not the giver that puts out, it's the receiver, much in the same way that guys who sleep around are not tramps, but women who do are.

2. Number 17 of his 100 Things About Him is that he's deathly afraid of heights. Sounds to me like he wouldn't even want to take a chance being on top.

3. He has an overwhelming obsession with the color purple, also referred to as the girliest color known to man. I've made a handy chart below to demonstrate the masculinity factor of each of the rainbow's main colors. Sorry indigo, your services are no longer required.




Now, I'm not one of those old fashioned people that thinks that there is a girly one and a manly one of each gay couple, but let's face it: when you have someone's dick in your ass, you're the girly one. So thusly, enjoyment of girly colors equals enjoyment of girly delights (i.e.: dicks in your ass).

4. Have you heard his laugh? My drunken evil twin once spoke with him over the phone and said it's quite hearty. I wouldn't be surprised if he's loud when he gets excited in other ways that don't necessarily lead to laughter. A loudness you just want to muffle with a pillow, if you know what I mean.

5. Number 98 of his 100 Things About Him is that he hasn't ridden a bike in 19 years. I suspect it's because his ass is so sore from all the pounding it gets that he can hardly handle having a narrow bicycle seat up his ass. Either that or he enjoys it so much he can hardly focus on steering the bicycle and crashes constantly so he gave up.

So there we have it. Polt is a bottom. Don't worry Polt, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't make you any less of a man. It just makes you more of a woman.