When you just a little tipsy, you lookin' at them lips...

Last night, at roughly 11:00, I got a phone call. I was in the bathroom, so by the time I had gotten to the phone next to my bed, it had gone to my voicemail. I quickly clicked through to the incoming calls thing, and hit the redial for the most recent number. I saw it was a New York number, and I'm racking my brain trying to think of who I know in New York that would call then...Freddie maybe? Other than that, no idea.

So it's answered and someone says, "Hello." And I answer back, not knowing who I called, "Hello?" There's a pause of silence and then the other person says, "Polt?" And it hits me, this could be Craig from Puntabulous!

He had made a post about the Watchmen graphic novel and asked what other ones were good. So last weekend, I went out and bought him three graphic novels that I thought were really good and sent them off to him Monday. SO I said, "Craiggers?"

Again, a slight pause and he says, "Yeah, hey it's me. I'm juss a lil bit TIPsy..." and I laughed, thinking, 'no kidding'. But then he went on, "I went out after work and just got home and saw your package and I wanted to call you and thank you for the package. For the graphic novels."

No before we go any further, I must apologize to you all, because I don't have a recording of this, and it was just so cute and funny that there's no way I can possibly it justice just typing here. But bear with me.

I told him it was no problem, I was just glad to be able to get him some. Then he says, "Yeah, I got your note from Dave S." And I'm thinking, "Note? what note?" But then he says, "Your email, I got it from him." And again I'm thinking, "What?" So finally I just ask him, "What note? what email?" And there's a pause, and finally he says, "Phone number. I got your phone number from Dave S. I'm juss a lil bit TIPsy. See, I called Dave this morning to wish him a happy birthday, and then I called him tonight to get your number."

So Dave S. got two calls from you in one day, I asked. "Yeah, and that's pretty miraculous, because I HATE talking on the phone. And so you should feel really honored that I called to thank you for the graphic novels. I don't really call people on the phone much. But I'm a bit tipsy, to maybe that's it."

I told him I did indeed feel honored, and that I thought he was MORE than just a little bit tipsy, and he agreed. "Yeah, maybe more than juss a bit TIPsy...maybe I'm a lot TIPsy. See, we all went out after work, we were having a....a...." and I could just picture him on the other end, knotted brows, scrunched up face, trying in desperation to think through the alcoholic haze in his mind and find the correct word. And then finally, he gets it! "Celebration! It was a celebration. We were...we just finished something and wanted to celebrate. So we went out after work. To celebrate."

I asked him how long he was celebrating, and he said, "Well, after work we went out, so right after five, until I caught the eight o'clock train, so...yeah, from five to eight. And then I came home." And I was gonna say something, but he interjected, "AND then I came home and saw your package and had to call you and thank you. I can't wait to read them. I'm reading Twilight right now, which makes me the gayest man in America right now. But when I'm done reading that, I'll read them. The graphic novels."

I told him that I didn't think reading Twilight made the gayest man in America, but I'm sure there were other things that did. And there was silence on the other end. I thought maybe I said something to offend, but then he said, "Yeah. Yeah."

I expressed shock that he would do this on a work night! Didn't he have to work tomorrow? And he said, "Yeah, I have to work tomorrow. It was a work night. But it was a celebration, and I'm only a lil bit TIPsy. Well maybe a bit more than a little bit."

I told him that this was really funny (which he should have known, since I was almost literally laughing through the whole conversation) and I told him to take a picture so we can all see him a 'juss a lil bit TIPsy'. But he said, " Um, well I'm only wearing a t-shirt and mesh shorts and black socks, so I don't think that a picture would be a good idea. I've been undressing while we've been talking."

Oh HOW I wanted to comment on THAT! But I figured most of it would just go over his head. And considered how intrigued I was about the mesh shorts (?!?!), I really did want to ask about them, but again, it just seemed like a bit too much for him to discuss at that point. So I agreed that perhaps a photo wouldn't be the best idea, althought I wouldn't complain if he took one and sent it to me. His response, "Yeah. Um, I'll see what I can do." But he said it in an obviously distracted tone, like he was doing something else, and just giving me a routine answer. I laughed just trying to picture him trying to do something like pull off his sock, or whatever, and balance the phone and reply to me all at the same time.

I told him that I hoped he enjoyed them as much as I had enjoyed them when I read them. And he said, "Yeah. I know I will. And I'll read them as soon as I can. I can't wait. But now, I'm a lil bit tipsy. But I HAD to call you when I got home to thank you."

Thinking that we've covered most of the ground we were gonna be able to cover, I said, "Hey, don't you have to get up early for work?' And he kinda of exploded "YEAH!" out of his mouth, like that thought just occured to him. "I have to get up RIDICulously early to make it to work. And it's late. What time is it?"

I told him it was 11:13, and that I better let him get to bed. I told him I hoped he got to work on time, and that I hoped he wasn't hungover and that he enjoyed the graphic novels as much I had. And he said, "Um, yeah. I will. I'll enjoy them. When I get done with Twilight. I need to get to bed."

So I wished him a good night, and thanked him for calling me. He said, "Good night. I'll talk to you soon." And that was that.

But honestly, i lay in bed for at least another twenty minutes, just running the whole thing over in my mind and giggling like a schoolgirl. My first in person speaking to Criaggers, and he was drunk...er, juss a lil bit TIPsy. He was just so aDORable on the phone. I'm still smiling now.

And next time, I promise, when Craiggers calls me drunk near midnight, I'll record it so everyone can enjoy listening to it.

Love ya, Craiggers. And seriously, enjoy the books. And take some Advil and drink lots of water for that hangover.

POLT Listening to "Macy's Day Parade" by Green Day

My GOD, Midge, your hair has a hard-on tonight! - Rose, The Rose