Its not a game its a party thing...

As you know, I've been feeling a bit down lately. A bit emotionally down, and a bit physically ill. And I was sick of it all, so I needed to do something to pick myself up. And what better way to do that than to...THROW A PARTY!

And so I did. Of course, I had to invite my best girl, AG. And she took most of these photos. And also, this party is something of an homage to my idol, Craiggers over at Puntabulous.


"Hey, there! Welcome to my party come on in!"



9:00PM
"Why, Ag, you're always right on time. And how sweet of you. You KNOW I love Asti!"



9:14PM
"Is that an arrow in your quiver, Legolas, or are you just happy to see me?"



9:46pm
"Why no, Anakin, I did not know that a light saber can double as a sexual device."



9:58PM
"AHHHHH, the entertainment's here! It's N'Sync! OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod!!!"



10:23PM
"I've never noticed Wonder Woman's legs, Superman, but have you seen Aquaman's swimmer's build???"



11:03PM
"Here, Some Random Model Named Daniel, let me help you with the wet towel..."



11:48PM
"Listen, Green Arrow, I'm sure Legolas did not mean to insult the size of your bow, DID you Legolas?"



12:19AM
"I know, Supermodel Joel West, I thought they'd be gone by now too. But just wait here, and I'll be in as soon as I can!"



12:31AM
"Oh dear GOD, that Anakin sure does like to go on and on and on about the size of his lightsaber, doesn't he guys?"



1:04AM
"Flash, I hope you're not the 'Fastest Man Alive' in everything you do. BWAHAHA"



1:51AM
"WHOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!! PAAAARRRRR-TAY!"



2:30-ish
...Ah, so THAT'S where Legolas went after I passed out...hmm.....

POLT

Remember, every devil was an angel once. - Father Donnelly, Shadowpact #4

Cause it's like.. eh-eh-eh-eh beyond, bionic...

Friday night, as I was flipping around the channels, I happened upon the SciFi Channel, and they were replaying the premiere Bionic Woman episode.


I came in less than 10 minutes into it. I've read reviews online from "fantastic" to "meh". I lean more towards the latter opinion. Don't get me wrong, I was entertained but it wasn't great or outstanding. I mean, there was a LOT to do in the first episode, setting everything up, and establishing all the characters. And it did that well. The best thing is, it has potential, and that's why I'll be watching it again.

One thing that i was happy about, and which surprised me a bit, was how un-sexist it was. When the ladies fought in the rain, they were both dressed in black clothing. I was pleased, because the scenes in the bar were damn near lesbian porn with clothes, something filmed, I felt, to draw in the hormonal teenagers and dateless guys living in their parents' basements. And they very easily could have had both ladies in white or lightly colored clothing, and we know what happens to those when they get wet.

At any rate, like I said, not great, but potential, and that's good.

Afterwards, I watched an episode of the new Doctor Who. I've never been able to get into the Doctor's TV series, any version of them. But a few weeks ago, I caught one and was quite impressed. And this episode I saw, was VERY entertaining as well. I know I'll be watching it more regularly now.


POLT

No, no, no hospital. She's not insane, she's just peculiar. - Mother Pitt, Angels In America

Let's get unconscious, honey (Part 67)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Crook :: Nixon
Career :: Job
Freckles :: Redhead
Scramble :: Peanut
Mistake :: Correct
Telephone :: Ring
Thank you :: You're Welcome
Obstruction :: Bowel
24/7 :: Wal-Mart
SciFi :: Aliens

POLT Oil:81.79 (+.13); gas: 2.74 (-.01)

Never trust a monkey in love. - Dr. Sivana, The Outsiders #40

What is a wasp without her sting...

So, after having been off three days, and knowing that I'm the only one from my department at work on Saturdays, I know I had to go to work this morning. Luckily, I was feeling better than i had earlier in the week. Still not much appetite, and what I ate was tasteless, but I managed to get there, and have a busy, but not bad, day.

But in the morning, I actually managed to get up with the alarm, at 6:00am. Course, with all the sleeping I've been doing the last three days, I guess that's not a surprise.

SO there I am, in the shower, still dark outside, and feeling proud of myself for actually being up that early, but at the same time anxious about the work that's piled up. I turn off the water, open the curtain, reach for my towel, and what do I see? A wasp!!! A BIG wasp!! The photo below is like life-size!



Okay, well maybe I'm a bit melodramatic, but it was HUGE! And I HATE wasps. It's flying along, bouncing into and off of the walls, and I figure getting pretty pissed off cause it's not getting anywhere. Which is just what I need, a HUGE pissed off wasp in the same room as the totally naked and still dripping wet me.

I normally get a lot of spiders in my bathroom (as you do), and I have on the floor by the door and old sneaker that I've nicknamed My Spider Killing Shoe. I figured it would do just as well against a wasp. If only the damn thing would actually LAND on the wall.

I pulled the curtain back and quickly dried off. Then opened it again, and the wasp was on the wall opposite. This was my chance! I stepped out of the shower and reached down to get the shoe....at the exact moment that the wasp launched itself off the wall and at me. i ripped the door open and jumped into my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me.

It was instinctive. It was only after I was there that I realized how stupid an action it was. Now, I had no idea where the wasp was, he could be anywhere in the bathroom, and if I opened the door, he could fly out into the bedroom, which would be really bad cause then he could get lost in the apartment (hey, I've lost bigger things than a wasp in my apartment, so I know it could happen. I'm still looking for that errant Netflix DVD). But what could I do?

I opened the door and saw him opposite around the window. Which is probably how he got in, as the screen is old and not tightly fitted anymore. But I quickly got back in and shut the door. Then I knelt down and picked up the shoe...just as the wasp made another bombing run towards me. I dropped down to my knees and bent over even further cause it was flying righ above me, bouncing off the door. thankfully, it did not decided to bounce on DOWN the door onto Uncle Polt, but instead, go land near the mirror. And this was my chance. I walked cautiously over, telepathically telling the wasp to NOT move, there was NO danger, dont' be afraid and fly away or attack the big naked fat man with the shoe above his head (hey it might not work, but I'm gonna think it anyway, what can it hurt?) And then I smacked it with the shoe.

yanking the show back, I didn't see it....but I felt it. On my foot! It was flittering around, obviously stunned. I stamped my foot, and it flittered off toward the trash can...allowing me to smack it again into the floor. Pulling the show back, I saw it crawling slowly across the floor. And I swore, cause this damn thing's harder to kill that a mutant cockroach! But one more slam did the trick, it was smushed and moved no more.

Look, I know wasps are God's creatures too, and like spiders, I think they have every right to live thier little wasp lives doing whatever thier little wasp hearts desire. BUT once they get into my bathroom, all bets are freaking off, and they're gonna get splattered. That's just the way of the world.

POLT

Just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you HAVE to do porn. - Kumar, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

My baby's got a secret (Part 40)...

Secret Saturdays

These all come from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ Stop by for a visit.





POLT Oil: 81.66 (-.89); Gas: 2.75 (+.01)

"It's purple." "Purple? What kind of homosexual are you? That color up there, Mary, is mauve." - Angels In America

Millions or billions can't equal your worth...

So while watching TV this morning (yes, yet another day at home for me, just enjoying life around the house, and specifically, around my toilet. Lucky me.), I saw that the House and Senate had both passed a bill increasing the number of poor children eliglble for government help in getting medical coverage by 4 million kids, at a cost over 5 years of 60 billions dollars.

And Bushie assures us all that he'll veto it, as it's way too expensive.

Course, he did just recently ask Congress for $150 billion dollars right now, in ADDITION to all the other money they've alloted to him and his war. I suppose with all the money needed to go to Iraq to disappear or fall in the coffers of Halliburton, there really is no money left over for 4 million poor un-insured American kids.

But, hey, let's remember, thanks to Bushie's "No Rich Child Left Behind" thingamabob, "Childrens do learn", and that's a direct quote from our the always elloquant Mr. Bush.

Too bad they didn't have that program when he was in school, maybe he'd have been one of the 'childrens' who learned how to speak correct English.

POLT Oil: 82.55 (+.35); Gas: 2.74 (-.03)

It's 106 miles to the dam, I have a pound of weed, two six packs of beet, it's broad daylight, and we're wearing superhero costumes! Let's hit it! - Beaver, Freshmen #7

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 99)...

Frenching Friday

So instead of photos this week, I give you the following. It's short, and not X-rated.




If a photo is worth a thousand words, how many words is this short vid worth? I'd say it's priceless.

POLT

How am I going to make any money without clean underwear? - Joe, Flesh

Keep your numbers mounting (Part 6)...

55 Flash Fiction Fridays

The pumpkin sat in the field, overlooked. It was small, compared to the others, but still a good solid pumpkin nonetheless. Eveyone wanted big pumpkins, though. They'd walk right over it almost stepping on it, to get to a larger one. But when Sophie saw it, she knew it was perfect, she joyiously bought it.

POLT

Irony is renaming the national airport after the president who fired all the air traffic controllers. - Sabrina Mathis

Those words, whispered in your ear (Part 14)...

Word For The Day

These come from http://www.urbandictionary.com

smell check

1) Double checking the clothes you put on for any funky odors before getting dressed and leaving the house.
- Damn, homeboy should have run a smell check on his pants before he came to work today. Dude smells like funky taint.
2) When you get someone to smell your armpits or other odourous parts to ensure they don't stink
- Can you give me a smell check before we go in the club, I don't want B.O. ruining my night.

POLT

"I am a little under the weather." "You're drunk, sir." "That could be why." - Malcolm In The Middle

These notes are marked return to sender...

Notes from the Palace:

- Yesterday, the temperature dropped from 92 to 72 degrees in under 10 minutes when a thunderstorm came through. I know it's nothing unusual, but its still pretty wicked to see.

- I've been having some issues dealing with dad's cancer, and being the last in my family, and my own mortality, and a bunch of other emo-like teen-agnst type of shit. And I HATE going through this, but I can't not stop thinking about it. It makes me just blah. And so, yesterday, I didn't feel like doing anything but staying in bed, and that's what I did. From 11:00 tuesday night until 1:00 Wednesday afternoon. BUt when I got up, all this shit was still on my mind, perhaps that why I just want to sleep.

- I thought about it so much, it made me sick to my stomach, and now today...well, I'm spending quite a bit of time on the toilet. It is not fun. Plus I had to take a second day off of work. What bothers me is the work that's been piling up while I've been here....









- there was a HUGE fricking spider that made a web on the front foor to the house. It was as big as a nickel, with it's legs tucked in UNDER it. Oh, hideous. Thankfully, someone got it off the door, web and all.

- I'm watching my DVD sets I bought (what else do I have to do here between toilet visits), and I gotta say, for a drama, OZ is a pretty good, but there ain't no prison in the WORLD that could be run like that one. Course, it is nice when they through the cute guys in 'the hole', buck naked and all.















- Was nice to see Peter back at the end of Heroes. And that's just how he should be: chained to a wall, shirtless, looking all buff...and with a decent haircut.









- Didn't get to see Bionic Woman last night....guess I'll have to pick it up starting next week.

- why do the things that taste the best, have to be the worst for you. Why couldn't vegetables and water taste like candy and Pepsi?

- Got what we call and Indian Summer right now. As I mentioned, it was 92 at one point yesterday, high 80's today, and the humidity has set back in again. I can't WAIT for fall to get here, finally, for good!









- Monday, I got new windshield wipers and took the car to the car cleaners. I got the "Elite" cleaning, which cost 25 bucks, but they have two guys vacuuming it, then it's run through a long tunnel and washed, soaped, washed, and waxed, all while you watch, and then hand dried but four guys with cloths. And they sprayed the scent of my choice (strawberry) inside. I know that's a lot of money for a car wash, but really, i only get Miss Cleo cleaned twice a year anyways. I try to do it around the beginning of Spring and the beginning of summer. Get the oil changed and the tires rotated as well, although I haven't gotten that done yet.

- Because of money issues, Ag and I will not be going to Toronto this year. this is the first year since I first went in 1997 that I won't be going. I believe I've made 14 trips to Toronto in the last nine years. I'll miss it, but we're hoping to go next spring maybe.






- I've gotten my hair colored and cut once a month for probably a decade. I do it to cover the gray that fills my temples if I don't. I have it died red to match the natural color of my goatee. And I've always said I'll stop once I reach 40. 40 is just two months away...I'm not sure if I'm gonna be ready to stop it even then.

- Caught an episode of I Love Lucy not too long ago. One where she and Ethel go to Charm school. I know that stuff was made 50 years ago, and I know I've seen them all before, numerous times, but still, parts of it make me laugh out loud. Those writers were geniuses, and Lucille Ball was a comedic goddess!

- Had blood taken Tuesday for my regular bloodworkup prior to my doctors visit. The nurse that took it was new, but she was by far the best I think I've ever had take it. Just a little prick from the needle and no subsiquent pain at all. Now, I've just got to prepare myself for the doctor's disdain at what I'm sure are no improvements in the results.

- In some alternate universe, women run the show, and have all through history. And in that world, men wear the skimpy clothes, and spend time on looking pretty, and all the fashion magazine show guys in speedos, which is the normal swimwear for any man in any kind of good physical shape. And, it's an alternate universe that I want to visit.

- If dust is made up of cast off skin cells, and you're allergic to the dust in your own home, are you allergic to your own skin?












- I feel like I'm really missing out on something for not having watched Battlestar Galactia all these years.

POLT

How am I ever gonna get a girl, I ride around in a garbage truck. - Hellboy

The things around your head and what they do to you...

HNT is a little lower.
********************************
This is Bill Clinton's response to the Republicans over-reaction to the MoveOn.Org ad on General Petraeus.



God, is there anyway I can vote him back into the White House??? I'd do it in a heartbeat. If Hillary gets the nomination, I hope she unleashes him, just lets him run loose in the media, calling out the liars, cheaters, and cowards in the Republican Party as the liars, cheaters, and cowards they are!

POLT Oil: 82-20 (+2.92); Gas: 2.77 (-.01)

"Herb didn't want me to check it first?" "He didn't." "He's a little turd." "I'll tell him." - Margaret, The West Wing

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 76)...

It's time once more for....



This past weekend, my uber-sweet boyfriend, Freddie, came down for a surprise visit. One of the things we did was visit a local zoo, the Catoctin Zoo. It's a small zoo, about a half hours drive from here, up in the mountains. Considering where it's located and that it's a privately owned zoo, it's really quite nice. This was my second visit there with Freddie, and I enjoyed myself there just as much as I do at the big National Zoo in DC. Course, this one costs money to get into while the National Zoo is free, but whatever.

We saw lions, tigers, bears (oh my), flamingos, llamas, alpacas, alligators, monkeys, birds (many different kinds, I can't really differentiate them all, but Freddie can. He's very interested in birds), jaguars, snakes, deer, lemurs, ducks (although I don't think they were part of any exhibit, they were probably just hanging out at the pool there), ostrichs, and so forth. No penguins or zebras, which kinda disappointed me, but whatever...

At any rate, at one exhibit, I took a picture of the reflections of Freddie and I in the glass.



And there we are, in all our reflective, zoo loving glory!

If you wanna see what other people posted, click the HNT button in my sidebar.

POLT

He's more liberal than ointment on a hemorrhoid and twice as greasy. - Buxky Katt, Get Fuzzy

Cut their hair short, wear shirts, and boots (Part 11)...

Wife Beater Wednesdays

POLT

Gravel and grubs, gravel and grubs, I love to eat my gravel and grubs. - Chicken Lady, The Kids In The Hall

Tonight, I want to dance with someone else (Part 25)...

Wednesday's Weekly White-Boy Dance

Stephen has posted a new video at Inside Stephen. This time, it's a compilation.




POLT

Deep pockets, Petey, deep pockets. You never lose your bagels that way. - Whitey, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

I can make it all match up, I can hold my own...

Got this from StephenRader's blog. You all should take it as well and let me know you're answers. It's only 11 questions. C'mon, take it, you know you want to!

	Hillary Clinton Score: 47	Agree Taxes Stem-Cell Research Health Care Abortion Social Security Line-Item Veto Energy Marriage Death Penalty	Disagree Iraq Immigration
	Barack Obama Score: 47	Agree Taxes Stem-Cell Research Health Care Abortion Social Security Line-Item Veto Energy Marriage Death Penalty	Disagree Iraq Immigration
-- Take the Quiz! --

I guess I shouldn't really be surprised, eh? What's disturbing to me, is that the person I match up with least is Tom Tancredo, only got a 1, and that's okay. But apparently i agree WITH him on Immigration! Ew. I definitely need to rethink my opinion on that issue!

Right now, I'm supporting John Edwards, but I only got a 42 in my matchup with him. I matched higher with Chris Dodd (46) and Dennis Kucinich (46). Maybe I need to rethink my support of him as well.

Ah well, the election is still over a year away. And my state's primary is still more than 8 months away, so I have plenty of time to make up my mind.

POLT Oil: 79.28 (-.11_; gas: 2.78 (-)

Don't buy your decor at Long John Silver's anymore. - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

And it was me funding your child support...

California Representative Duncan Hunter was quite angry.



He was so angry over Columbia University's invitation to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he said that if Columbia University allows Ahmadinejad to speak there, that he, Representative Hunter, would lead the crusade to terminate federal funding to Columbia University.

Like most far Right Republican wingnuts, irony is totally lost on him. Can anyone think of any OTHER place where places of higher learning are punished for allowing unpopular and controversal people to speak? Hmm...got to be somewhere else like that....somewhere, like...Oh I don't know...IRAN maybe????

Geez, Duncan Hunter....what a maroon.

POLT

Howard, there's a rather alarming mountain heading our way! - Katharine Hepburn, The Aviator

In your smile, forbidden love (Part 15)...

Does THIS make me look GAY?

Listen, I gotta know something, me and my buddy here, wearing very little clothing, and oil up and flexing like that, with my ass thrust backwards into his crotch, well, I just gotta know...



Does THIS make me look GAY?

POLT

Whether or not she was the woman he had been looking for his whole life, she was almost certainly the woman he'd been looking for the past three weeks. - Inheritence

Well I was eating lunch at the D. L. G....

The lunchroom where I work is quite small. It fills up quickly. Plus, while I eat my lunch, I like to read the morning newspaper, just to catch up on things. So, I normally get my lunch to go from the cafeteria and eat it in my office. Which works well for me.

But recently, three times actually, the latest just today, a co-worker of mine comes into my office and talks to me. With my food in front of me and the paper spread out on my desk. And she comes to talk about WORK THINGS! It just infuriates me. It takes everything I have not to scream at her about it.

Today, when I got back from getting my food, I saw I had an email waiting. I opened it, and it was from her concerning some medical insurance issues (they changed ours here at work recently, and she and i go to the same doctor, so she asks me stuff). I answer the email, then spread out the paper and started to eat.

Not more than 5 minutes into the meal, she comes into my office. She SEES me shoving a hot dog and fries into my mouth, but still starts talking. She tells me she sent an email and wanted to know if I got it. I told her I had and had in fact replied to it. THEN...oh THEN....she stands there and reiterates everything she had said in the email. Almost verbatum. AFTER I had already told her that I read it and replied. Honestly, I wanted to yell at her.

(I didn't because she needs to be handled in a certain way that I've gotten used to over the 11 years that I been here. But I've had several co-workers tell me I need hazard pay for dealing with her. Some have said they don't know how I don't just reach out and throttle her. And one told me if he had to deal with her like I do, he'd have put a yellow highlighter between her eyes years ago!)

Instead, I simply told her, "Co-Worker, I already said I answered the email. It should be waiting for you right now. In your computer. IN your office." She took the hint, thanked me and left.

But why should I HAVE to hint? She wouldn't come into the lunchroom and start talking to me about work! Oh, it just frustrates me to the point of pissing me off. I think maybe I'll make up some sign and hang it from the front of my desk when I'm eating there. Maybe she'd pick up on that. Course, with my luck, she'd just come in and start talking about the sign.

POLT

Never buy any kind of tape at the Dollar Store. It will always vex you later. - Tornwordo

Think I'll buy me a football team (Part 3)...

Well this week things went inCREDibly well. 1) The Cowboys won, and pretty handily over the Bears. 2) The Deadskins lost. 3) Pittsburgh won, so I'm still in the pool at work. 4) I picked all 4 games correctly against Johnnie, so I was 4-0 on the week and 7-4 overall. He owes me $3 bucks right now. I dont think I could have asked for it to go any better.





POLT Oil: 79.39 (-1.61); Gas: 2.78 (+.01)

"Is it true you've become a Republican?" "I am ashamed to admit that for a minute or two I wanted to keep my money all for myself and oppress dark skinned people as my low paid servants, but it just wasn't the thrill I thought it would be." - Roseanne

An utterance, information, don't mince words (Part 61)...

Too Much Information Tuesday

1. Who did you think you would marry in elementary school? Oh I hoped and prayed to marry Leigh Zurgable, but she was way out of my league. I thought I’d have to settle for Sylvia Martz who, while not at all attractive, was pretty funny and she and I got along quite well.
2. Which muppet is your favorite? Why? The Swedish Chef, simply because I LOVE the way the sings!
3. Which politician would you most like to screw? [For pleasure or revenge] That 21 year old who became mayor of that town in…New Mexico, I think. I don’t know his name, but I remember seeing a photo of him. He was pretty hot. Him or Arnold Schwarznegger. Not the present Arnie, but the Arnie of about 35 years ago when he was all buff and sexy and stuff.
4. How did you first find the g-spot? Um…I didn’t realize I was supposed to be looking.
5. What is the best costume you've ever worn? Oh the "Floor Of A Movie Theater"! Won best costume at the costume party that year. And a co-worker wore it to a party herself, and she won best costume too!
Bonus (as in optional):Does pornography liberate or deteriorate society? I’m not sure it does either. I don’t think it hurts society. The fact that it’s available shows what a free and open society we have, but I don’t think pornography, in and of itself, makes us free. I think pornography is pornography. End of story.

POLT

"Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?" "....Yes, yes he did." - Kumar, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

Disorder and you know we be bionic...

I'm in geek boy heaven, cause tonight, Heroes returns.



And then Wednesday, the Bionic Woman premieres.



I'm withholding my judgement on the new series until after i see it. I vividly remember the originial Bionic Woman, it's was one of my favorites TV shows when i was a kid. My best friend, Trudy, and I would place bionics, with her being Jamie Sommers and I was Steve Austin. (which, by the way, I hated. Steve was hairy and had a cheesey moustache, and I hated his show. but Jaime was beaufitul, with long, flowing blonde hair that they budding gay boy in me wanted for myself. And she had such fun episodes: being a beauty pagent, playing cousin Tracy on the mysterious island with the freaky relatives, going to Greenland encoutnering an alien, the fembots....twice!, meeting bigfoot, escaping from woman's prison, being a nun, fighting her plastic surgery modified evil double, fighting her way through to that Doomsday Device! very very cool!)

At any rate, this new show has a LOT to live up to. See no matter how good it is, THIS will always be MY Bionic Woman!



POLT

"Where is Artin when you need him?' "Umm...dead." "Yeah, okay, so that excuses him." - Tigorr, Omega Men #1

You're wanting my body, I don't mind (Part 113)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys With Cameras!












POLT Oil: 81.00 (-.30); gas: 2.77 (+.01)

My father gave me the best advice of my life. He said, 'Whatever you do, don't wake up at 65 years old and think about what you should have done with your life.' - George Clooney