I wrote the dope quotes....

Got some quotes from the weekend I forgot to post until now.

Polt: You've heard of the Osmonds, right, Johnnie?
Johnnie: Who are the Osmonds?
Polt: WHAT? You don't know who the Osmonds are? I don't expect Freddie to know that but-
Freddie: I know who the Osmonds are. Donnie and Marie.
Polt: See, Freddie knows who they are! How do you not know who they are?
Johnnie: Osmonds? Didn't they have a reality show?
Polt: In the 70's, but it was called a variety show then.
Johnnie: No, I mean a reality show. The dad was an old adled drug user, use to be in Black Sabbath?
Polt: That's Ozzy Osborne! Not the Osmonds! I don't think you can get farther apart on the spectrum than the Osmonds and the Osbornes!
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Johnnie: I hate the gingers.
Polt: Johnnie, should you really be picking on the redehads?
Johnnie: Oh it's okay. It's just like picking on Mormons, nobody cares.
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Freddie: Do you know why it's easy to keep an alligator's jaw taped shut?
Polt: Cause they don't have opposable thumbs and can't use scissors to cut themselves free.
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Ooooo, muffins! - Polt
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Megan: My arms are sore.
Polt: That's cause you had to lift all the muffins out of the oven.
Megan: If that made my arms sore, I'm such a sissy!
Polt: Yay, sissies!
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The zoo had misting machines set up that spewed water in a mist over the walkways to keep crowds cool. One little kid, about 6 or so, ran up into it and yelled back to his parents: It's wet! It's made of wet stuff!
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Overheard a little girl: Daddy, can we see the squirrels?
Overheard a little boy: Mommy, where are the whales?
Overheard another little boy: Oh, let's look for Squidward!
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Freddie: Oh, that way leads to the parking lot.
Polt: We'll find Jaguars there. And Lynx, Mustangs, and Impalas....
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When Dad says go, we go! -Freddie and Megan at various times
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Megan: Are we here already?
Freddie: Where?
Megan: That sign said it was a lesbian restaurant.
Polt: It was a Lebanese restautant!
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Polt: Do zoos make you horny? I'll have to remember that.
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Polt: Kids nowadays, with your heelys and Lindsay drama and Britney Spears! I just don't get you at all!
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And Megan reminded me in the comments of this one:
Megan: Daddy, can I get an ice cream cone?
Polt: Um, go ask your mother.
Freddie: It's okay, you can get one.

POLT

Look, I know it's been a while but I'm not getting humped by a giant red gorilla in outer space! - Carl, Aqua Teen Hunger Force