I'm just a typical american boy, from a typical american town,

Typical. It is SO typical.

Freddie and I break up around Thanksgiving. For the next three months, I got nothing. Which really is okay, cause I've spent more of my life outside of a relationship than in one. Then I meet Don. Things are pretty good. I really like the guy. Of course there's complexity, involved his situation with Jim. But I'm willing to wait, because Don really is a great guy. But due to various reasons, Don and I haven't seen or talked to each other much in the last three week.

Then, last week, a guy I knew about 15-17 years ago and I ran into each other. We decide to get together in a few days to catch up. Back then, we had hooked up a few times, but were basically friends. And we haven't really spoken much over the last ten years. So we just want to catch up on our lives. I suggest a restaurant, or I can go to his place or he can come here. he says he'll come here. Wednesday evening he did. And we caught up. It was fun seeing what he's done with his life and telling him about mine. And, yes....wait for it...(like you don't already see where this is going), we hooked up again. Only this time, it wasn't just a hookup. It wasn't purely physical, I found myself feeling things for him. And he says he did too. And the further complication is that he's in a ten year relationship with this other guy. But he stills wants to pursue this with me despite the relationship. At least at this point. Although, it sounds like the relationship might be on its last legs anyway, I don't know.

And then tonight, Don calls me again. And so I'm kinda pulled back towards him. But it's not like I actually HAVE either one, ya know?

Typical. So fucking typical!

Why is it when I'm not involved with anyone, I couldn't PAY someone to date me, but when I meet some guy i really like, and would like to pursue, then suddenly guys are popping out of the woodwork! (okay, well one guy is not really 'guys popping out of the woodwork'...but that's a nice visual anyway...a man's gotta be able to dream, right?) And I really like Danny (the new guy) a lot too. *SIGH*

And typicalness point two: why can't I find an complicated relationship???? I mean, Don has Jim, and Danny has his guy? What the hell is up with this? Are there no single gay guys in this area? ......um, who would be interested in an old, fat, hairy, comic-book obsessed, somewhat immature and selfish single gay guy????

Ya know, I just re-read this and it sounds like something written in to Dear Abby by some indecisive little twenty-something co-ed who's having affairs with two older married guys. Which, except for her age, and sex and the fact gays can't be married, does kinda sound like my case.

But that's not the way it is. Not with me. Really, it isn't. I'm not indecisive, and I'm not innocent and naive and Don and Danny are not manipulating me. This is just all confusing.

ya know when I was younger, this wouldn't even BE an issue. I'd just fuck Don's brains out and then fuck Danny's brains out the next night, and then repeat the process until my penis fell off from overuse. Feelings? Emotions? Pfffft, who needed them????

Geez, could my life GET anymore like a soap opera? A gay soap opera? A not particularly interersting gay soap opera, granted, but still?

Look, yesterday and today at work sucked! They were physically tiring and extremely emotionally draining, so if I seem a bit....maudlin, or whiney, deal with it. It's how I feel now. I'm sure I'll be better soon....like on Monday, when I'm looking through my photos to post for Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photos. THAT always cheers me up.

POLT Listening to "Lemon" by U2

I had one letter from a vicar in England saying would I please not put a Christmas tree at Hogwarts as it was clearly a pagan society. Meanwhile, I'm having death threats when I'm on tour in America. - J.K.Rowling, on criticism of the Harry Potter books by Christians