Take it to the runway (Part 3)...

Welcome everyone to the first edition of:


A Project Runway Rundown, from a gay man and a straight man perspective.
(Thanks to Dave S. for the super-cool banner!)

And away we go...

Dave S.: Okay, so let me first run it down from the drama side. Oh, wait, there wasn't any. They even really had to work at making Stella's pounding into something interesting.Speaking of Stella. She looks like something from a Tim Burton movie. Rumor is that she pulls the legs off spiders so she can glue them to her eyes. She's grating, inarticulate, and just plain irritating. What's worse: She does it without being entertaining -- breaking the cardinal rule of being the designated reality show bitch.
POLT: Very little drama, although even though I've said it before, and I will continue to say it as long as I have to, Suede needs to stop referring to himself in the third person. It wasn't funny or cute the first time he used it, it's not funny or cute the third time he uses it in the third episode either! And about Stella, I thought she might be this season's Sweet P, but tonight two words came to mind: Nasal and Whiney.

Dave S.: I'm crushing on the majorly cute Leanne. She's just so damn adorable. But I have to tell you that I'm liking Keith more and more. He seems to have it together. He's even-keeled and appears to know what he's doing. He just needs to do it better. We'll see if he's learned a thing or two from tonight's challenge.
POLT: Speaking of cute, we got to see Blayne in shorts, Jarell in just a towel and Keith in a wife beater. Say what you will about Blayne's irritatingness, Jarell's arrogance, and Keith's...tattoos (?) but all three of them are cute. Nice to have some eye candy on the show, even nicer when they highlight them. And I was worried for Keith, because they did a lot of talking about his background and thoughts and stuff, and traditionally, that's the death knell for a contestant.

Dave S.: Best line from tonight's show comes from Daniel: "Can you lift your boob up a little?"
POLT: Oh I forgot that one! I was stuck on Tim trying to say "Holla atcha boy!" It's a dumb saying, really, but watching Tim try to wrap his tongue around it: just hiLARious! And was there any doubt about the Text Vote 's result? I was suprised 13% of the voters thought it was a good new catchphrase. OH, and speaking of Daniel, remember his comment about being sad Wesley left? I read online that Wesley and Daniel are now a couple and working together. Oh, they're so cute together...or I imagine they would be, as I've not acutally seen them together on the show anytime....

Dave S.: Now to the runway. Let's talk top three and bottom three.
POLT: *Snicker* you said top and bottom....Before we get to the garments, I have to ask, what is up with Sandra Bernhardt? She's looking even more grizzled than ever. Somehow, when I see her, I imagine her squinting one eye and looking just like Popeye...but that's just me. Oh and when have we ever heard NINAGARCIA turn down the opportunity to say something?

Dave S.: Kenley - I thought this dress was bulbous and looked more like a hot-air balloon that a cocktail dress. Hm...let's make a woman look really hippy with a big butt -- they all love that! Uh, yeah, not so much. Winner? I have to disagree with the judges on this one.
POLT: I'm right there with ya man. First things I wrote down was "80's shoulders, way too hippy" UGH. I can NOT beliEVE she won this week. It's a travesty.

Dave S.: Terri - Not bad, but the cut wasn't overly exciting. The flow of the outfit was nice, but the fabric was not right for the cut, in my opinion. I felt there were better designs on that runway.
POLT: I wrote, "flowing, hip, fine, but not the best".

Dave S.: Leanne - Awesomely perfect. The lines were great and the skirt was absolutely amazing and creative. I was worried about what she would do for the top to compliment it, but she pulled it off beautifully. The judges missed the boat. This was the clear winner in my book.
POLT: I'm with you again totally on this one. I wrote one word "Awesome!" and underlined it twice. It was classy, well made, elegant, and actually was a great representation of her photo.

Dave S.: Now for the bottom three...
Keith - Keith, Keith, Keith. What were you thinking? Tim even told you to keep an eye on the shape. Listen to Tim, Keith. LISTEN. Tim knows more than you. And he doesn't wear an overly wide bandana. *Listen to him!* This was a creative vision that just didn't work. There was no shape. Ya gotta see boobs and hips, dude. Boobs and hips. Remember that.
POLT: These skinny anorexic models HAVE boobs and hips??? I haven't seen many. But you're dead on, there was no form. And it did look sloppy. I did think it looked like his photo, but it was rather...unorganized. Still, i didn't think it was deserving of being in the bottom three.

Dave S.: Emily - My first reaction was "Ick." Tim called it an oversized corsage and he was dead on. An oversized corsage that was threatening to strangle the model and use her as a host for its ruffley, multi-colored brood. The judges *did* get this one right. Out out out.
POLT: The dress, sans the ruffle, I thought was fine. The ruffle was misplaced and just kinda jumped out in your face. But I don't think it was the worst on the runway. I in fact liked Jennifer's much less. I liked Kenley's less as well, as she won! I'm not upset to see Emily go, cause I wasn't overly impressed with her, but I don't know that she deserved to go for this one.

Dave S.: Jennifer - Matronly is right. There's really nothing more to add. This was my choice as the worst, but with Emily so close to being equally bad, I'm willing to forgo complaining about it.
POLT: I liked this one the least. Matronly is the only word for it. It was unflattering, unexciting, and uninspired. Bad all around.

Dave S.: Oh, and I think Keith saved Blayne's ass from being in the bottom three. What the hell was that mess?
POLT: well, ya know, I liked the colors on his dress...but since it was like rainbowed themed, that may just be the gay in me showing.

Surprisingly, we both agree on who we thought was best over all: Leanne, and who we thought was worst over all: Jennifer (in fact, Dave S. said it best: That matronly mess was vomit-worthy. Though Stella's dull, Kmart-biker outfit was in the running). But the judges disagreed. Pfft, what do they know?

Next week: the designers go somewhere ginomous but uninspiring. NINAGARCIA's ego perhaps?



PS, thanks Dave S., I enjoyed this! This'll be fun over the next several weeks!

POLT Listening to "Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)" by Pink Floyd

Bad dragon! Bad! - Starman, JSA #4