TMI Tuesdays

Wow, with this week's questions, we're just cooking with gas.

1. Are your farts; a. Silent but deadly b. All sound, no fury c. Loud and stinky All of the above, baby! But thankfully, not all at the same time. I think that would hurt.
2. Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it? How did they or you handle it. I’m sure I HAVE farted in front of a lover, but I don’t recall any specific instance. I do recall a former lover throwing the blankets over both of us, wrapping me up tight like he wanted to cuddle, and then farting and lauging his ass off.
3. Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it? Nah, if I’m around someone and I fart, I usually claim it.
4. What food triggers you? Beans, eggs, the usual.
5. Varts (Vaginal Farts) Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all? WE call them Queefs in these parts, and I’m thankfully NEVER been exposed to any of that. I doubt if I were involved in a Queef, that I would having a good time, cause it would mean I’m around a vagina. Full of air. Ewwww….
Bonus (as in optional): When you do fart with someone in your bed, do you cover their head with the sheet and hold them under? No, I haven’t, but I have had that done me see #2. Around here we call that a Dutch Oven. (Wonder why we have such wonderful names around these parts?)

POLT