Waiting for my new friends to come...

July, 1987. I was home for the summer after my first year of college. In the middle of the month, there was understanding between me and the group of friends I had that ended up with me being ostracized from them. After a few years, the situation would be cleared up, and everything would be fine, but at that time, I felt I had no friends at all.

There was a strip mall in town that had a pizza joint and an arcade with video games. It was THE place to be on a Saturday night in my town. And when both of them closed, we'd pull our cars into a circle, facing each other, so we could turn the headlights on and light up the circle. And then we'd hang out there. Lots of good memories from there: I first heard "Bitchin' Camaro" by the Dead Milkmen there; I kissed and felt up one of the last girls I would do that to, there; I smelled pot smoke for the first time there, although i didn't partake. But all of that was when I was a senior in high school.

Now that I had a year of college under my belt, I might not be accepted out there. But I was, frankly, lonely after a week alone, and I thought "Fuck it, I'm going." When I got there, I ran into two girls I went to high school with: Tracey, who I knew very well, and her firend Joanne, who I knew, but not real well. And Joanne had her 15 year old brother Jim with her.

We all kinda hung and talked, amongst ourselves, but among the other people there gathered too. And that included two guys that were seniors in college. They invited Tracey and Joanne to a party, but Joanne wouldn't go without her brother and Tracey wanted me to go too, she wasn't too sure of these guys. So we all set off.

What was supposed to be a party, turned out to be like 8 people sitting around, stereo playing Led Zeppelin, smoking pot and drinking beer. Which was okay, i guess, I but I knew no one, they were all the friends of those two boys. Joanne and the one guy were hitting it off pretty well, although Jim and I were bored. I said I was leaving, Jim asked me to take him home. Tracey was staying, only because she didn't want to leave Joanne there. But she said they'd be okay. And they were.

Jim and I got back to his house, and since his parents were gone for the weekend, he invited me in. He had smuggled some beer from the "party" and we drank and watched "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" on teh VCR. Twice. Danced and laughed through most of it. About 7 or 8 in the morning, I left and went home, having had an incredible time. Mom and dad weren't real keen that i hadn't called or anything, but they were cool.

Then, the following Tuesday, Jim showed up at my front door with his friend Jeff, both on their bikes. We stood on the front porch and talked for a bit. Jeff struck me as very quiet and shy, but as he as only 15 and talked to a 19 year old college guy on his porch, that might have accounted for it.

That whole stretch of time was a watershed in my life. Everything changed from what it was before, to what it was afterwards. I started hanging out with Jim and Jeff, and their schoolmate Scott, and another friend Joe. Joe was 19 like me, but he's the one I got to know the least. Don't really know why, I mean we had fun and all, but only in the group setting, we never really did anything just the two of us like I did with the others.

Anyway, I'd spend all day, every day, with these guys. We moved an old couch my parents were getting rid of to the basement of Jim's house and hung out there. Joe and I had cars, so we were the transportation. We'd sleep over at each other's houses, and go to movies together, and drink when we could, and just talk stupid shit. Prior to this, even with the friends I had, I was pretty much a homebody. And in college, I was even worse, having put on 40 pounds my freshmen year from just sitting around. From mid-July to the end of August that year, I lost 60 pounds! Oh to have the metabolism of a 19 year old. But the point is, the 5 of us were inseperable. There were other hangers-on: Willy, Chico, Jim's girlfriend Mel, Joe's lady, Monica, Monica's brother, who's name I forget, etc, etc. but it was mainly us 5.

And more specifically, it became Jeff and me. Jeff's dad's name was Jeff as well, so I took to calling Jeff Duff. His dad was Jeff, he was Duff. The two of us became like brothers. his dad's family got together every Sunday night to eat, and then to play cards. The loser of the first hand had to give two year old Andrew his bath and get him ready for bed, I even did that when my turn came. My family adopted Duff as well. I went on Duff's paper route with him, helping him. I think there were only two days the whole month of August when he and I didn't see each other. We were, as I said, like brothers, a new experience for me, an only child.

Of course, things change. I went back to college, they went back to high school. But Duff and I stayed close. He dated Jim's girl, Mel, after their relationship had ended. Out of school, he joined the military. When he and Mel decided to get married, I was his Best Man. I helped move Mel down to Louisiana where he was stationed.

When he was returned home, in 1995, he invited me over to watch the Super Bowl, as he and I were BOTH die-hard Dallas Cowboy fans. And we've not missed a Super Bowl since. Even through the birth of his twin sons 12 years ago, the problems with and divorce from Mel, the finding out that I was gay (by my telling him about 7 years ago, it just seemed time), and through the courting of his lovely new girlfriend and her kids, there has always been the Super Bowl for Duff and I.

Duff is my longest friend, 21 years have we known each other. And while we don't do much throughout the year, busy with out own lives, there is always the Super Bowl in January. For Duff and I. My brother.

This past year, I had his one son take a photo of us. With my new printer, I'm gonna print out two copies on that special photograph paper, one for me to frame and hang, and one to mail to Duff himself.


POLT Listening to "Sorry Somehow" by Husker Du

What do you mean 'Don't get excited'? We're in the pits of Hell!!! - Bea, JLA Classified #6