Over on Enrickyricardo'sblog earlier in the week, he posted about what he wanted his funeral to be like. And he, along with several commentors, made mention of the fact they've never been to an open casket funeral. This blew my mind, as that's pretty much ALL I've been to!
I come from a large family (pap was the oldest of 7, grandma 2nd oldest of like 7 or 8, and they all have kids, grandkids and great-grandkids now) and so I've been to many MANY funerals and viewings, well over 25 in my lifetime.
But, I know there were two that were closed: a kid I went to high school with who died when he was ejected from a car wreck and slid, head first along the highway for several dozen feet, and my dad, who didn't want an open casket (we just put a photo of him atop the casket).
At any rate, maybe the commentors were speaking about wakes, were I think the open casket sits in a room with the mourners there eating, drinking and talking to one another. That I've NEVER been to, and that would seem freaky to me.
But what normally happens around here, and what I'm used to, is the night before the funeral is a Viewing, where the cakset sits open and the family stands nearby and people line up to walk by the casket, pay their last respects and then give their sympathies to the family. And the next day is the funeral itself, where people can visit the caskte and pay thier last respects prior to the service. Then a pastor, or someone, speaks for a short while, everyone leaves, the family can have their last moments with the deceased, then the casket is closed and put in the hearse. Anyone that wants to goes to the cemetary where another very short service is held and the cakset lowered into the earth. Then everyone goes to a church/community center/someone house/what have you and that's where the food and drink are and socializing takes place. But the body isn't there.
This is the way that seems 'normal' to me. And while I know some people don't like funerals, and I don't enjoy them myself, I do go to them. Mainly for the ones left behind, not so much for the deceased.
So, what typs of funeral rituals do they observe where you are?
POLT Listening to "Message In A Bottle" by Sting
I'm sorry to be the one to tall you this, but this 'Sex In The City' forty-something-slut-on-the-prowl fad? It's over. So how 'bout you hobble back to the bar and join the rest of the Stepford Wives, 'KAY? - Kendra Saunders, Hawkman #34
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5 comments:
Lets see, it started with my mother. Then a classmate/friend. Then my uncle, paternal grandfather, maternal grandmother... it goes on from there. I won't even go into the friends I've buried.
We have the "viewing" which I have rarely attending and sometimes they aren't even held. That is as you said, the chance to view the body and pay your respects to the family.
Then at the funeral everyone sits like in church, casket is closed (if you didn't seem them at the view you missed your chance) and immediately after the service the casket is wheeled down the aisle to the hearse and the family and other follows where the procession head to the cemetary for the grave-side service. Following that everyone heads back to a central location (a community centre, church basement, etc.) for lunch/snacks/chatting.
I have not been to tons of funerals being that I live 3000 km from most of my family but those I attended were conducted as described above and I assume most others were.
My new "real" job is Office Manager for a local Funeral Home. They have 4 locations and I work in the office so I don't deal with the families or "clients". But I have been told I can attend an embalming, as long as I respect the person being embalmed. Funeral Director's are very respectful,even in private, which surprised me. They take their jobs very seriously, as they should. When my friend Scott embalms a child he "talks them through the process" so they know he isn't hurting them. I couldn't deal with that, I would lose it.
my GOD Mark, I almost lost it just reading about the embalming the child. Whoa...
I couldn't watch an embalming, i don't think dead bodies. Skeevies me out. Although I'm really glad some people can deal with it with dignity and respect.
HUGS...
I'VE been to open casket! I just don't want one for myself.
And your description sounds like the funerals I've been to. Except both funerals I went to were for military peepz so they did the presentation of the flag and played that song.
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