Polt's Palace: Okay then check the tan line, make your body shape...

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Okay then check the tan line, make your body shape...

You're at the beach. The weather's beautiful, clear skies, bright sun, cooling breeze blowing off the ocean, primo spot on the beach, and no sand in any part of your anatomy it's not supposed to be in.

You're got the blanket you're laying on. You're got your sunscreen on (can't be too careful). And you're got your iPod for some choice tunes.

And then fall asleep. Just pray none of your friends have cameras with them to commemorate the occasion for all eternity.

POLT Listening to "Flounders Mashups" on DC101

U;n tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch - okay. - Madonna

1 comment:

Stephen R. said...: Okay, that is hilarious!!

I once went to the beach alone, put on my sunscreen, and missed a huge portion on my back. There was a white patch that was basically the shape of my hand. You could make out the fingers and everything. I was mortified.; 10:55 PM

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Movies I Have Seen In 2024...

What If...?, Season 2: Jan 1 (B+)
Saltburn: Jan 3 (B-)
Fall of '55: Jan 3 (C)
Lost Cities Reveals, With Albert Lim: Jan 5 - 6 (C)
Incredible Dr. Pol, Season 21: Jan 6 - 9 (B)
Incredible Dr. Pol, Season 22: Jan 10-12 ) B
Incredible Dr. Pol, Season 23: Jan 12- 14 (B)
Echo, Season 1: Jan 16
Lost Treasures of Egypt, Season 1: Jan 22-26 (B-)
Percy Jackson & Olympians, Season 1: Jan 25 - 30 (B-)
Lost Treasures Of Egype, Season 2: Jan 26 - 29 (B-)
Murder On The Orient Express (1974): Jan 27 (A-)
A Real Bug's Life: Jan 30 - 31 (B-)
Alexander, The Making Of A God (N): Feb 3 - 4 (B+)
Adonis (tubi): Feb 4 (C+)
Marvels: Feb 9 (C-)
Dr. Who: Genesis Of The Daleks (tubi): Feb 12 (C+)
Life On Our Planet (N): Feb 13 - 14 (A)
My Feet Are Killing Me, Season 1 (max): Feb 14 - 18 (B+)
My Feet Are Killing Me, Season 2 (max): feb 18 - 19 (B+)
My Feet Are Killing Me, Season 3 (max): Feb 19 - 20 (B)
My Feet Are Killing Me, Season 4 (max): Feb 20 - 23 (B)
Last Airbender (2024) (N): Feb 23 - 25 (A+)
Einstein And The Bomb (N): Feb 25 (B-)
Doctor Who, City Of Death: Feb 26 (B+)
Doctor Who, Planet Of Fire (tubi): Feb 26 (C-)
Caligula, with Mary Beard (tubi): Feb 26 (A)
MASH, The Comedy That Changed TV (tubi): Feb 26 (A)
Doctor Who, The Ark In Space(tubi): Feb 27 (A-)
Doctor Who, Revenge Of The Cybermen (tubi): Feb 28 (B-)
Doctor Who, The Sontaran Experiment(tubi): Feb 28 (C)
Doctor Who, Terror Of The Zygons (tubi): Feb 29 (C)
Doctor Who, Planet Of Evil (tubi): Mar 1 (D+)
Doctor Who, Inferno (tubi): Mar 1 - 2 (B)
Doctor Who, Terror Of The Autons (tubi) : Mar 2 (C)
Doctor Who, Mark Of The Rani (tubi): Mar 3 (D)
Doctor Who, Time And The Rani (Tubi): Mar 3 (C-)
Dune, Part 1 (Hulu): Mar 4 (B+)
A Haunting In Venice (hulu): Mar 4 (B-)
Doctor Who, Delta And The Bannermen (tubi): Mar 4 (F)
Doctor Who, Dragonfire (tubi): Mar 4 (C)
Doctor Who, Tomb Of The Cybermen (tubi): Mar 5 (B)
Great Expectations (2024) (hulu): Mar 5 - 7 (B-)
Doctor Who, The Daleks (tubi): Mar 6 (B)
Doctor Who, The Brain Of Morbius (tubi): Mar 8 (C+)
Jerry Brown, The Disrupter (PBS): Mar 9 (B)
Serpent Queen (Starz): Mar 9 - 11 (A-)
Oppenheimer (peacock): Mar 12 (B-)
Doctor Who: The Dalek Invasion Of Earth (tubi): Mar 13 - 14 (B-)
Doctor Who: The Keeper Of Traken (tubi): Mar 16 (B+)
Turning Point, The Bomb & The Cold War (N): Mar 16 - 18 (A+)
Damsel (N): Mar 20 (D)
Quiet On The Set, The Dark Side of Kids TV (max): Mar 21 -
Rome: Empire Without Limit With Mary Beard (freevee): Mar 23 (B+)
The Great Fire Of London In Real Time (Prime): Mar 24 (C+)
Who Done It: The Clue Documentary (Prime): Mar 24 -25 (B-)
Chernobyl: The Lost Tapes (Max): Mar 25 (B+)
American Dynasties, The Kennedys (Max): Mar 25 - 26 (A-)
The Harvest, Integrating Mississippi's Schools (PBS): Mar 27 (B+)
Doctor Who 60th Anniversary Specials (Disney+): Mar 28 (A)
Madu (Disney+): Mar 29 (A)
Doctor Who, Greatest Show In The Galaxy (tubi): Mar 30 (C)
Escape From New York (WBoro Theater); Mar 30 (B)
Hercules (Disney+): Mar 31 (B+)
Testament The Story Of Moses (N): Mar 31-Apr1 (C)
Minions: The Rise Of Gru (Prime): Apr 1 (B-)
Homicide New York (N): Apr 2 - 3 (A)
Rustin (N): Apr 5 (B+)
Invincible, Season 2 (prime): Apr 6 -7 (A)
Brother Outsider: The Life Of Bayard Rustin (N): Apr 8 (B)
Amadeus (N): Apr 8 (A+)
Crime Scene Berlin, Nightlife KIller (N): Apr 8 (B)
Midnight Movies, From The Margin To The Mainstream (Starz): Apr 10 (B-)
Medici The Magnificent, Season 3 (N): Apr 11 - 13 (B-)
X-Men, Days Of Future Past (Disney+): Apr 13 (A-)
Am. Exp,, The Busing Battleground (PBS): Apr 14 (A)
Am. Exp. Citizen Hearst (PBS): Apr 14 (B-)
Am. Masters: Moynihan (PBS): Apr 15 (B)
Titanic's Final Mystery (Paramount+): Apr 15 (C)
Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956) (Paramount+): Apr 15 (A-)
Feud, Season 2 (Truman v Swans)(Hulu): Apr 15-16 (B-)
Feud, Season 1 (Bette v Joan) (Hulu): Apr 16-18 (A)
California Suite (Tubi): Apr 20 (B-)
Greek Island Odyssey (Paramount+): Apr 21 - 22 (C)
Secrets Of The Octopus (Disney+): Apr 22 (C+)
House Of Cards Trilogy (Roku Channel): Apr 23 -
The Princess And The Frog (Disney+): Apr 27 (B+)
Doomed: The Untold Story Of Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (tubi): Apr 27 (C+)
Our Living World (N): Apr 29 (C+)
Dead Boy Detectives (N): Apr 29 - May 1 (A)
Doctor Who, Season 4 (max): May 2-4 (A+)
The Ballad of Greenwich Village (tubi): May 5 (C)
Geek And You Shall Find (tubi): May 6 (A-)
Missing, Dead Of Aive (N): May 7 (B)
The Texas Killing Fields (N): May 8 (B+)
Fallout (Amazon): May 9 - 11 (A)
Doctor Who, Season 14: May 10 - Jun 22 (B+)
Till Murder Do Us Part, Soering vs Haysom (N): May 12 (A)
Dr. Pol, Season 24 (Disney+): May 12 - 15 (B)
Spacey Unmasked (Max): May 14 (B)
30 For 30, Broke (N): May 15 (C)
X-Men 97 (Disney+): May 15 - 17 (C)
Shogun (Disney+): May 17 - 20 (B+)
Becket (Roku): May 20 (C+)
Bob's Burgers, Season 14 (Hulu) : May 20 - 24 (C+)
Dune, Part 2 (Max): May 21 (B-)
The Innocent Man (N): May 26 (A-)
England's Forgotten Queen: The Life And Death of Lady Jane Gray (Prime): May 26-27 (B-)
She-Wolves: England's Early Queens (Prime): May 27-28 (B-)
The Boys In The Board (Prime): May 29 (C)
The Riot Report (PBS): May 30 (A-)
Star Trek: Discovery, Season 5 (Paramount): May 31 - Jun 4 (B-)
ST Short Treks (paramount): Jun 4 - 5 (A-)
Apollo's Moon Shot (paramount): Jun 5 (A)
Hello Dolly! (disney+): Jun 6 (D+)
Saving Private Ryan (peacock): Jun 8 (A+)
30 for 30: OJ, Made In America (N): Jun 7-9 (A)
I Killed My Father (N): Jun 9-10 (B+)
Sins Of Our Mother (N): Jun 10 (B+)
Shirley (N): Jun 10 (B)
All Of Us Strangers (Hulu): Jun 13 (B-)
Walking Britain's Roman Roads (Prime): Jun 14 - 15 (B+)
House Of The Dragon, Season 2 (MAX): Jun 17 -
Poisoned Ground: The Tragedy At Love Canal (PBS): Jun 17 (B+)
The Insufferable Mr. Buckley (PBS): Jun 17 (C-)
Disco: Soundtrack Of A Revolution (PBS): Jun 18 (A)
Chinatown (Paramount+): Jun 20 (C)
Mary And George (Starz): Jun 21 - 23 (B)
Grantchester, Season 9 (PBS): Jun 25 - 27 (B)
The Walking Dead, Season 1 (Netflix): Jun 30 - Jul 1 (A)
Outstanding, A Comedy Revolution (Netflix): Jul 4 (A+)
Magna Carta: Unlocked (prime): Jul 4 - 5 (B-)
The West Wing, Season 1 (MAX): Jul 15 - 19 (A-)
The West Wing, Season 2 (MAX): Jul 19 - 22 (A+)
The West Wing, Season 3 (MAX): Jul 22 - 27 (A+)
The West Wing, Season 4 (MAX): Jul 27 - 29 (A+)
The West Wing, Season 5 (MAX): Jul 30 - Aug 4 (B-)
Deadpool Wolverine (Leitersburg): Aug 3 (C-)
The West Wing, Season 6 (MAX): Aug 4 - 8 (B)
The West Wing, Season 7 (MAX): Aug 8 - 10 (A)
Dirty Pop, A Boy Band Scandal (N): Aug 10 (B)
The Boys, Season 4 (Prime): Aug 11-12 (C-)
Umbrella Academy, Season 4 (N): Aug 13 (B+)
Acolyte (Disney+): Aug 16 - 17 (C)
Batman: Caped Crusader (Prime): Aug 18 - 19 (B+)
Evil, Season 1 (N): Aug 18 -
Seprent Queen, Season 2 (Starz): Aug 27 - 30 (B+)
Kaos (N): Sep 1 (A+)
Joanna Lumley's Britain (Prime): Sept 2 (B)
Remembering Gene Wilder (N): Sept 3 (B+)
Six Schizophrenic Brothers (Max): Sept 4 (B)
Upstairs Inferno (Roku): Sept 9 (B)
Interview With The Vampire, Minisereis (N): Spet 13 (A-)
Apollo 13 Survival (N): Sept 14 (B+)
Muscles & Mayham (N): Sept 17-18 (B)
Monsters, The Lyle And Erick Menendez Story (N): Sept 19 - 21 (B)
Agatha All Along (Disney+): Sept 24 - Oct 30 (B)
Inside Out 2 (Disney+): Sept 25 (B-)
5B (Peacock): Sept 27 (A+)
Commitment To Life (Peacock): Sept 27 (A-)
Invitation To A Murder (Roku): Sept 28 (B+)
LOTR, Rings Of Power, Season 2 (Prime): Oct 4 - 7 (C+)
Heartstopper, Season 3 (N):Oct 7 - 8 (A+)
Charles 1: The Kill A King (Prime): Oct 13 (A-)
Am. Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (Disney+): Oct 17 - Nov 13 (B-)
The Girl In The Picture (N): Oct 21 (B-)
Mayfair Witches (N): Oct 21 - 22 (C)
Legends Of Vox Machina, Season 3 (Prime): Oct 24-25 (C+)
Legends Of the Superheroes (Tubi): Nov 11 (F)
Batman: The Brave And The Bold (Max): Nov 22 - 25 (B)
Nutcracker, NY Ballet (Disney+): Dec 7 (C)
Dream Productions (insideout) (Disney+): Dec 11 (B+)