Don't believe in luck, I saw you walking...

So I took a walk last night.



But, first, let me back up a bit. There's this guy I work with who, everytime he makes spaghetti for his family, he makes a whole box of it. And even though he himself eats like a pack of ravenous jackals, and he's got a wife and two daughters, somehow they always have some left over that they throw away. One day a few years ago, he mentioned this in conversation and I told him not to throw it away. I told him to bring it in to me, and I'd eat it. I was joking, he took me seriously. And ever since, whenever, they have spaghetti, the next day, I get the left overs. Although I don't think they're actually leftovers, I think he makes extra for me, cause this time, there was enough there for like two people, which is kinda more than just "leftovers". Regardless, its still very sweet of him.

So yesterday, I got the 'leftovers' and I went i brought them home I heated them up in the mircowave and ate them. Ate them all. A portion big an dhuge enough for two people, I ate it all myself. Needless to say, afterwards, i felt quite stuffed. Gluttonous, kinda stupid, and very very full.

About this time, I got a message on my cellphone from Aggie telling me that she was at work, and she had left he wallet in her apartment (coincidentally, said apartment is just 18 steps below me on the second floor), and asked me to bring it to her, cause she had no money to get a lunch.

Also, on a different but related topic (stay with me, I'll be drawing all this together shortly), I have for various reason (the most obvious of which is late I'm terrbily lazy) not sent a single birthday or anniversary card out this year so far. So last Tuesday I went out and bought 15 cards for all the dates I missed previously in the year. I got them home, filled them out, addressed them, stamped them, and they were sitting there in my apartment yesterday just waiting to be mailed.

All this hit my mind at roughly the same time and I decided.....(wait for it).....to take a walk! The walk would help with my discomfort over the spaghetti, would give me some much needed exercise, allow me to mail the cards, and since Ag's work is only about four blocks beyond the Post Office, take her wallet out to her. it's a win-win for all involved.

I got myself dressed in appropriate light t-shirt and walking shoes, got a stick of gum, gathered up the cards, and.....couldn't find my iPod. I love it to keep me company on walks. And then I remembered I left it in at work. Stupid, STUPID Uncle Polt!

I went to Ag's apartment and easily found her wallet. And then i set out, iPod-less. I walked to the Post Office, mailed the cards, and then walked through alleyways to get to Ag's work. i could have walked on the main street in town, but I don't like doing that. I feel like all the people in cars going by are judging me. hey, it's my paranoia, leave us alone. I got to Ag work, got to the third floor, easily found her, and gave her the wallet. then I walked back, stopping at CVS on the way to get a bottle of water (it was hot), a three pack of gum, and to ogle the cute redhead that works there and his atheletic friend who was visiting him. Then i walked on home.

And when I got here...I was fucking BEAT! I was hot, sweaty, my calves, thighs and ankles hurt! And the whole walk had taken me like only a half hour. i am SO out of shape! I got online, took a shower and then crawled into bed to read. It was a pleasant way to end the day, and I wasn't all achey today. but still, it shouldn't have bothered me that much to walk that little bit.

I suppose sitting for hours in front of a computer posting to a blog and downloading porn is not condusive to physical fitness.

In an effort to continue the exercise, tonight, after I got home from going to eat with Phoenix at a steakhouse, I took another walk (WITH my iPod, yay!). Had I gone in a straight line, it would have been 12 blocks, but I just walked in a rough square though town, ending where I started. It took me a bit over a half hour, and I wasn't as winded or worn out as the night before, but sweatier...it's hotter today. Still, it wasn't all that bad, and this IS something I need to do.

We'll just see how long I stick with it.

POLT

Yeah, defend her? She melted your head! - Grace, The Outsiders, 324

And everything seems to feel just right...

Found this test online today. I'm not sure if I like it, cause it's really accurate in some cases, but way off base in others. Take it yourself and see what you think.

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more atheist than religious, more dependent than loner, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted. As for specific personality traits, you are adventurious (100%), slutty (88%), intellectual (81%), horny (72%).

Stereotypes Prep 77% Punk Rock 73% White Trash 45%

Life Experience Sex 71% Substances 16% Travel 26%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 83% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 79% of those who have taken this test, and 19% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated NC-17. By the way, your hottness rank is 50%, hotter than 17% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

POLT Oil: 64.18 (+.85); Gas: 3.05 (-.02)

"We need a plan." "How about we weep uncontrollably?" - Salem, Sabrina

I feel the need to be naked with you (Part 60)...

It's time once more for...



If Uncle Polt spends too much time outside and gets sunburnt on his nose and forehead and then comes back inside, takes a shower, without doing anything to his hair or fully drying off, THIS is the result.



Messy, damp, crispy, sardonic look....yep, that's the result. Just in case anyone was wondering.

To see what others put up, click the HNT button in my sidebar.

POLT

Poverty is the worst kind of violence. - M. Ghandi

Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies...

Okay, got another 4 Truths And A Lie for ya.

Guess which of the following is a lie.

1. I have been in the White House when the sitting President was there, but obviously, I did not get to meet him.


2. I have been inside the US Capitol building, when Congress was in session, although I didn't get to go into either chamber.


3. I have been in the the US Supreme Court building while the Court was in session, getting to watch a case argued before the entire 9 judges, as a matter of fact, but I didn't get to meet any of the judges personally.


4. I have been to the top of the Washington Monument in DC.


5. I have sung at the Kennedy Center, with a school group.


Gimme your guesses, I'll let you know the correct answers in a few days!

POLT

This is no place for open-toed shoes! - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

We've been goin' out now for about two years and I still feel the same...

So, June marks the 2nd Anniversary of the Palace. Hard to imagine it was way back in June 2005 when i started this. And I've managed to post something every day since, other than a handful of days when i was sick, or on vacation, or what have you.

Anyway, in honor of the 2nd anniversary, I'm going to make a few changes, starting June 1st. Just small cosmetic changes. Firstly, the quotes I leave at the bottom of the posts will be purple from now on. Only seems appropriate. Secondly, the titles of my daily posts (HNT, Monday's Hot Shirtless Guys, Too Much Info Tuesdays) etc, will be changing to all appropriate lyrics from Madonna songs. Just because it's my blog and I can do that. I'll be fiddling around with the look of the Palace, perhaps as well, and updating my blog lists, clearing out the deadwood, as it were.

Anyway, thanks to every one who stopped around the first two years. Please, come back, and come back often!

POLT

Sorry I'm late. Had to beat a lunatic half to death. - Catman, Villains United #6

Said one, two princes kneel before you....

I got one word for this photo....

*SIGH*

POLT Oil: 63.33 (-.57); Gas: 3.07 (-.01)

Never buy a car that you can't push.

Why am i always on a plane or fast train...

So it appears Stephen is a bit...inconsistent with his Weekly White Boy Dance thingee. but then it's summer, it's warmer, he's probably out getting all tanned and showing off his body. I'll post future dances, as he posts them.

In the meantime, when he doesn't post, I think I'll post something else. I was gonna post some other cute guys dancing....but they were generally really stupid or nearly pornographic, and while neither of those are bad things, not even together, I thought I'd post something else.

Since MTV no longer deems it necessary to post any music videos, I, Uncle Polt, will take up that gauntlet and post Music Videos FOR you guys!

The first one I'm doing tonight is a video of my currently favorite song. It's "Oh What A World" by Rufus Wainwright. Rufus is a bit of an acquired taste. This is also a live performance, as there doesn't appear to be an actual video of it. But then why should there be, it's not like any TV channel actually PLAYS videos anymore!



Oh, and there's a bit of extra stuff at the end....you don't really need to watch that, but you can if you wanna.

POLT

"Is your husband the boss at home?" "He is when the dog and I aren't there." - Mama Polt

So maybe she tastes like a hamburger...

At one point in the family Memorial Day obligations, there was talk of food, and how unhealthy hamburgers were. I HAD to disagree most forcefully.



I pointed out that hamburgers were probably the best food you could eat. i eat mine with lettuce, mayo, ketchup, onions, and sometimes cheese. And what COULD be healthier? I mean, it's got all the 4 food groups in ONE SANDWICH!

Bread - the bun
Dairy - Cheese, and possibly something in the mayo
Fruits and Vegetables - lettuce, onions, and ketchup
Meat - the hamburger patty itself!

Mmm-mmm! 4-food-group-alicious!

POLT

I'm a bluestater, baby! - Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

Flying higher than all the birds in the sky (Part 3)...

Last Saturday, Freddie was at birds sanctuary again. he emailed with the details of his day.

Saturday was the first day the place was open to the public, so all the stuff he was doing, he was doing in front of an audience. Yeah, no pressure at ALL there.

First he had to fee the deer, ostrich and emu...by himself (No I haven't asked why there's deer at a bird sanctuary, mostly I'm giggling to myself too much to do so). This entailed 2 100 lb bags of food and three bales of hay. Oh and did I mention all by himself. This required two trips and more physical labor than he's done in the last two months. The deer and ostrich, which are kept in the same...range (?) were first. And the ostrich was standing right in front of the door, which kinda bothered Freddie a bit, cause he had to keep the gate propped open to get things out of the cart and the ostrich could have run out...never a good thing, especially when there are crowds of onlookers there. But the ostrich didn't. I supposed it's hunger overtook it's need to escape. The emus werew a bit more distressing, cause they all swarmed around him wanting the food. Having never been in the middle of a swarm of emu, I can't really comment on what it feels like, but I'm sure it's not pleasant. And the next time, they're supposed to catch the emus to move them.....does the phrase 'herding cats' pop into anyone else's mind?

He had to check on the parrots and feed them. This went well, until the end. Now I didn't get the whole gist of the thing, but apparently there's this cockatoo named Lulu (naturally), and she was intent on getting a piece of Freddie. he'd throw her the peanuts to distract her, she threw them on the floor, she was having none of it. Freddie ran to the other end of the cage and gave her a peanut, but as he ran back to the part with the door, she dropped the peanut and ran after him. As I said I didn't get the whole gist of it, but it ended up with him having a metal water bowl on the cage so Lulu could peck at that while he locked the cage, or something similar. And when even THAT didn't work, he had to bring out the hose. Not to spray Lulu, as that would have been cruel (incidently, if I had to change the food of a bird that would prefer to sink her beak into my flesh, I feel confident in saying I'd use a hose to send her to the back of the cage so i could do what I needed to do...PETA be damned!), but to spray on the bottom of the cage. She liked getting wet so little she'd move out of the way when water was being sprayed anywhere around her.

There was an unnamed cockatoo (imagine that) that wanted apiece of Freddie too as he tried to shut his cage. This bird, though, was distracted by a glove Freddie had, and the bird attempted to shred that instead of Freddie's fingers.

Also, Freddie was asked to help the owner catch two black swans. Freddie's job was to, using a large bamboo pole, scare the sawms towards the boss, who had a net. Yeah, like that's gonna work. The swans were more content in thier pond than they were scared of Freddie and the pole. So he had to climb up on the back of the aviary, which, in his words, "was in no way maintained". he had to climb over rocks and through a thorn bush. And still the swams stayed. So the boss said to forget it, they'd try it later.

He didnt' get to see some new arrivals, a baby screech owl, 2 baby mergansers, and a falcon. There are no stories about these birds, just a statement that they got them. I'm gonna guess Freddie didn't have any interaction with them.

After this they had to corral some escaped ducks. The only word I have on that is "which only half worked." Yeah, I bet. And then they went back in with the cockatoos. Apparently, two of them got out after Freddie was in there. this is a concern cause these birds can be very territorial, and we already know how violent they are about ripping people digits off, but, much to everyone's surprise they were together and chirping happily, no problems. So by leaving them get out accidently, Freddie actually allowed them to make friends. Ah, harmony abounds.

Next time, possibly emu wrangling, and more fun with Lulu the cockatoo!

POLT

I find these meetings to be a fairly mind-numbing experience, but Leo assures me they are Constitutionally required. - President Bartlet, The West Wing

In your dreams, whatever they be, dream a little dream of me...

This is the final scene from Beautiful Thing. (Ignore the Asian language subtitles). This scene NEVER fails to bring a tear to my eye.



If you've never seen the movie, it's a bit hard to explain here. Just suffice it to say two English lads discover they love each other over the course of the movie. This final scene is them, dancing in public, in front of neighbors and whoever. And they just don't give a crap. How brave. That starts the tearing up for me. but then, when Jamie's mother, Sandra, goes to dance with the neighbor girl, well, that's the second time I tear up. And the look on her face...man, it's like a mama tiger just DARING anyone in the crowd to say anything.

I'm just a sentimental old fool, but even after seeing the film numerous times, even after only seeing this little clip, I'm still a bit choked up.

POLT

I could buy a decent used car right now, or an amazingly thorough prostitute. - Ron, Undeclared

A chain of fools, you need a matching...

Charles Nelson Reilly has died.



He was 76. I know him from the reruns on TV of the late 60's show, The Ghost And Mrs. Muir. I know him from the stint on Matchgame. I know him from his hilarious portrayal of Jose Chung in that X-Files episode.

I knew him as an out gay man in the late 70's. One of the few. He, along with Paul Lynne, were really only the gay men I had to exposure too. And even then, before I knew about myself, I knew about them. One thing they did teach me was, as a gay man, it's your right, nay DUTY, to have a handy quip or pithy comeback ready at all times. And I'd like to think, from them, I learned to do that myself.

The glasses, the pipe, the ascots, the "huh-huh-huh-huh" sound he made....Charles Nelson Reilly, a gay icon, gone forever. Entertaining the angels now.

POLT

The great thing about living on a flight path is sometimes luggage just falls from the sky. - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straigh Guy

Too much information for my head (Part 44)...

Too Much Information Tuesdays

As always, these come from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/

1. When you orgasm, do you hold your breath? I don't really pay attention to that, but I don't think i do. There's normally a lot of gasping going on, though.
2. Have you ever had sex or played around with a celebrity? Only in my mind, man, only in my mind.
3. Do you think prostitution should be legal? Why or why not? Oh absolutely it should be. It should be legal and government regulated. The prostitutes should be required to get quarterly physical exams and have those results posted. And each...act could be taxed, so the government makes money off of it. I mean, seriously, why NOT legalize it. If I ask a guy out on a date, and we go to the movies and dinner, which I'll pay for, and then we'll go have sex, that can cost me $50 bucks. Why is that any different than meeting a guy on the street, going back to my place having sex and then giving him $50? It just cuts out all the crap in the middle, ya know?
4. How do you masturbate? Do you romance yourself? Get straight to the point? Read erotic material? Romance myself???? Pffft, I barely romance others much less myself. Straight to the point, definitely. I understand and can appreciate the appeal of a one or two hour masturbatory session where you slowly work yourself up several times before the final deal. However, life's too short to waste on all that. Within ten minutes, I'm done. And then, if I wanna do it again a bit later, I can. oh and exotic material....masturbation is WHY the Internet and porn DVD's were created, dontcha know?
5. Which gives you the most pleasure - intercourse, masturbating for/with your partner, being masturbated by your partner. It honestly depends on what I feel like at the time. There have been times when I've wanted to do nothing but lay back and have myself...serviced. And then there are times when i don't allow anything to be done to me, cause I'm all about getting him off. It really depends.
Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a crush on a relative? Oh yeah. A cousin, looks like he walked right off the beach from surfing. He's got that body type, the long-ish blonde hair, blue eyes, stunning smile, easy going nature...thankfully I only see him once a year at Thanksgiving. otherwise, the temptation might be too great. :)

POLT Oil: 63.90 (-.65); Gas: 3.08 (-)

GOP does NOT spell GOD.

Love me or leave me...

I just LOVE this. these two guys, their moves, the music...I'm always dancing right along with them in my chair! I found a different version of the same dance on youtube, but now it's gone, which saddens me. Oh well, hope you all enjoyed these guys as much as I have.

Forties Swing plus Hip-Hop

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Man, I wish I could move like that!

REVISION:
I was mistaken, I found the version on YouTube! It's in a much wider space so you can see them do more moves that above! Enjoy!



POLT

Does my hair look like one of the the seagulls from the Exxon Valdez spill? - Monty, It's My Party

You gotta listen to my words, yeah (Part 4)...

Urban Dictionary Word Of The Day:

Youniverse: The entirety of creation that relates to one specific, narcissistic individual. Used to indicate that a particular person has knowledge only of him or herself -- their universe consists only of them.

- If you moved outside of your youniverse for five seconds you'd understand that people aren't homeless out of choice.

Hmm, i think those that know me personally may agree that this word applies to me, perhaps too frequently.

POLT

Bob, touch my yams and die! - Red, That 70's Show

Week 97....

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

Since it's Memorial Day, I've got a theme: Hot Shirtless Soldiers/Military/Uniforms/etc Photos!






POLT

You're going straight into the Army where you'll go to America's new quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Who knows with Captain Kooky Bananas in charge! - Homer, The Simpsons

Of my sorrow and regret, a memorial...

To all the American visitors to the Palace , I say, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY.

Let's take time sometime today, to remember that Memorial Day is not just about a three-day holiday weekend.



POLT Oil: 64.55 (-.56); Gas: 3.08 (-)

You can support the troops, but not the president. - Rep. Tom Delay, on the Kosovo campaign, 2000

The second time was a blast...

This afternoon, we celebrated my little cousin Cam's second birthday. It was attended by aunts and uncles from both sides of the family, 15 people in all I'd say. The whole party had a Wonder Pets theme to it, cause that's Cam's favorite show. he honestly sits entranced whenever it's playing.



I had never heard of the Wonder Pets, so I scoffed, thinking it something akin to Barney. but I watched it with Cam for a bit (just to calm him down, you understand) and I actually found myself....well, not enjoying it, but certainly not hating like I thought I would.

For the rest of the day, the words between me and Cam's parents were something along the lines of "This is sewious!" and a resounding chorus of either, "The phone! The phone is ringing!" or "What works? TEAMWORK!" Kinda disconcerting for those not in on the joke.

oh, something I thought was funny. I was holding Cam and we were looking at photos on the mantle. I pointed and asked who that was, he said, "Mommy." I pointed again, "Dada." Again, to his aunt, my cousin Tracy, "Tee-Cee" (that's the best he can do). My uncle, his grandfather, "Pappy." And then to his grandmother, "Pappy." Appraently he's not calling her by any name, he just calls her Pappy, which makes me laugh, and if you knew my aunt Trudy, you'd laugh at that too.

So, anyway, I naturally took several photos:

Firstly, Mama Polt got Cam almost as soon as we got there. He looked a little fussy, and indeed, did seem to be so most of the day. But he still got through it.


Cam's parents had put together a slide presentation on Power Point with Cam's photos over the previous year. This is Trish (Cam's mom), Cam and Mama Polt watching the show. Cam would frequently grab the mouse and hurry the slideshow along saying, rather emphatically, "Pets!" cause the last one was a photo of the Wonder Pets and that's all he cared to see.


A bit later, Cam sat on my lap and we watched some of the slideshow, cause I didn't get to see it from the beginning the first time.


Cam decided he wanted to play with the ukelele, and he did.


While Cam's dad Mark was filming me, I decided to take a photo of him filming me. Yeah, we really know how to party in THIS family!


While opening his gifts, Cam grabbed Tracy's camera, fooled with it a bit until he turned it on, got it turned around and took several pictures of himself...or rather, mostly of his mouth and teeth or extreme closeups of the front of his shirt.


Then it was time for CAKE! Which Cam proceeded to feed himself by stuffing handfulls of it in his mouth.


Afterwards, he and I sat and watched more of the Wonder Pets. Mama Polt wanted a photo of us close together, and this is the result. I'm truly not as lecherous as I appear (well I guess I am, but not with Cam), and he's not as frightened as he appears.


A bit later, I got the camera and took a photo of us together. I think it turned out really well, considering I was just holding the camera out. Cam's normally more happy than he was today, but he was fussy and there was a lot of people around that he's not used to dealing with.


Still, i think a good time was had by all. And I left with a very full tummy so you know I had a good time!

POLT

We came into this world naked, screaming and covered in blood. Why should the fun end there? - Christopher Lovet

Let's get unconscious, honey (Part 49)...

Unconscious Mutterings

Each week, these come from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Dancer :: Prancer
Intellectual :: Snob
Direct :: Straightforward
Tolerate :: Grudgingly put up with
Post :: Secret
Instinctive :: Animal
Brink :: Edge
Regain :: Found
Repulsed :: Disgusting
Distressed :: Troubled

POLT Oil: 65.11 (-.09); Gas: 3.08 (-.01)

What do you mean 'don't get excited'? We're in the pits of HELL!!! - Bea, JLA Classified #6

You can hang out with all the boys...

Three teenaged boys in barely-there costumes dancing to YMCA....

YMCA Gay Boys Dance - Remix

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And you'll see, it all looks just as good in reverse as it does forwards.

God BLESS America!

POLT

This is what I am, I'm a man, so come and dance with me Michael. - Franz Ferdinand, Michael

No, I couldn't ask for another...

Oh, the memories....1990, 1991



*Sigh*

POLT

This is your sofa? Were you ever in prison, by chance? - Thom, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

My baby's got a secret (Part 23)....

Secret Saturdays

These come from Post Secret Visit them each Sunday for new secrets.



POLT Oil: 65.20 (+.08); Gas: 3.09 (-.02)

Should any political party attempt to abolish Social Security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. These is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are a few other Texas oil millionaires and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid. - Dwight Eisenhower, Nov 8, 1954

Awards, there's no prize or fame...

Aggie's been employed the hospital now for 5 years, and they were having service awards at the country club this week. She asked me to go along, I said, hell yeah...free meal at the country club? Who wouldn't say yes to that???

We were seated at a table with three ladies in the "higher management" (and by that you can infer that I mean 'rich' and 'snobs'), and their husbands. Oh, even though we had a great time on our honeymoon in Jamaica, we were not at all happy with the service there...one whined. And oh, our girls, they just don't know how to behave with thier cell phones, complained another. ANd dear me this, and oh dear me that. Yeah, cry me a river. I was tempted on at least one point to speak up about something they had said, but realized that's not why I was there. So instead, I said very little at all. I just gazed at Steve, the cute little young waiter with the azure blue eyes.

The food was great: salad, main course of nice steak, hunk of chicken, field of green beans and potato, cheesecake drizzled with butterscotch and half a large strawberry for dessert.


When the time came for thier gifts, this is what they recieved: a 4X6 (roughly) inch thick glass plaque with the backboard carrying the business's name, recepient's name, length of service...kinda nice actually; a what I thought was a cellphone, but actually turned out to be a calculater/calendar/time zone indicator/etc. Again, pretty nice; AND a catalog with numerous things on it and they could order ONE. There was a nice globe (that would a really great gift for someone's upstairs neighbor, eh, Ag?), necklaces, watches, pensets, a set of tumblers, I think wallets, picture frame, and other nice stuff. Overall, I was impressed.

I just had my ten year anniversary at my job and ya know what I got? It's either a coaster or a paperweight, I'm not sure, but's circular and has the business and ten years service engraved on it, but not my name. Pfffffft, chincey.

Anyway, it wasn't long after they recieved this, and had photos taken, that we beat feet and drove to Rita's for a gelati. Mmm-mmm!

I may or may not have done the following: saw a guy that I have known in the Biblical arrive there with his wife....and only a passing glance in my direction; sang horribly off key and at the top of my lungs to some country-esque song as I drove us back home; bought a Greatest Mom In The World t-shirt kit, where the kid gets to put paint on his hands and put them on the shirt to then give to his mom; scoped out the cute waiters in the other section of the country club that we did not get to, but did walk past.

Good food, good friends, free gifts, and mocking of snobbery...what more do you need for a perfect evening?

POLT

Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace. - George W. Bush

Have you ever heard the words...

Have you ever received a surprise afternoon phone call from your boyfriend, and, after saying hi and asking him how he is, he replies, "Fucking horny" and you can tell he's in the midst of...doing something about it, so you immediately stop what it is you are doing and go to your bed and have a mindblowing orgasm listening to his moans, whimpers, and shouts as he orgasms on the phone after the 5 minutes of fast, hard, demanding, agressive, furious phone sex you've just had with him?

Or is that just me?

POLT

Nothing says, "Hey world, notice me!" like a floral print! - Sam's dad, Danny Phantom

A kiss is just a kiss (Part 80)...

Frenching Fridays

POLT Oil: 65.11 (+.67); Gas: 3.11 (-.01)

"It's some kinda Hee-Haw chic." "Without the chic." - Thom, Queer Eye For Straight Guy

What else can i say, everyone is gay (Part 8)...

Does THIS make me look GAY?

Hmmm, tastes just like chicken.....



No, but seriously, me and my buddy, licking the special no-no place on the fake statue of Michelangelo's David...I gotta know....

Does THIS make me look GAY????

POLT

I'm like a gay guy at a titty bar, I really don't care. - Cedric The Entertainer

Flying higher than all the birds in the sky (part 2)...

So, Freddie called me again at work on his way home from the bird sanctuary. he had the following tales to tell....

- There's a room where there are birds not in cages, just in the room. They is known as the "Bad Birds", cause they're very agressive, and they have to bribe the birds with wheat thins to get them to move off of things they need them to.

- He made friends with a bird, who doesn't have a name, but who responds to the things Freddie says with, "What's the matter?" or "Who's a bad bird?"

- There's a bird who attacks and goes crazy when he hears the word "Ouch". This was told to Freddie by spelling out the word "Ouch" so as not to cause a pecking frenzy.

- There is a gay bird there named Prettyboy...and really, with a name like that, how could he NOT be gay?

- There's a bird who attacks other birds and can't be left out of his cage, and so when Freddie was dealing with him and the bird made a break for the door, Freddie kept saying to him, "Don't go out! Don't go out!". Because obviously, yelling this at the bird will ensure it doesn't leave.

- There is a big scary ostrich there, scary because he's bigger than Freddie with huge raptor feet!

- Freddie was feeding the deer and saw one freak out and jump around and then land smack on his back. Freddie froze until he started moving again. I suggested narcolepsy. For the deer, not Freddie.

- They had to move man-biting macaws today. The suggested course of action was, "If they come near your figners, just drop the cage on the floor." These two macaws were names Gandolf and Randall...which may account for their crotchety dispositions.

- They also have a bird who ripped his previous owners finger off, the bird's named Hercules. Well of COURSE it is.

See, this may get to be a regular feature here at the Palace too, Freddie's Adventures in Bird Keeping.

POLT Oil:64.44 (-1.21); Gas 3.12 (+.02)

I heart that like a crack whore hearts a truck stop! - Dale, dcgaysofourlives

I feel the need to be naked with you (Part 59)...

Once more it's time for...



Well, since my...lackluster rainbow boxers HNT from last week disappointed so many people, I thought I'd have to redeem myself this week. So i searched through my underwear drawer...who knew I had so many different pairs of undies...even down to the bottom to the stuff that's there cause I never wear it anymore, if I ever did...and that purple leapard skin bikini, I'm talking to you. And by the way, whoever left the aDORable little blue and black thong here, I've still got it. Just stop by again to claim it.

At any rate, i knew I had to wear something to re-instill in everyone the faith they had in me. I had to give them what they've come to expect from Uncle Polt on Thursdays. So, in order to do that, I give you...



Oh YEAH! Supeman boxers! And they match my tattoo, how COOL is that!?!?!?!

To see what others are doing for HNT, click on the HNT button in my sidebar.

POLT

Bob, touch my yams and die! - Red, That 70's Show

I’m too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat...

Spawns of Satan, I tell you! They're all SPAWNS OF SATAN!!!



Demon seed........at one point, I KNOW I heard the voice from the Exorcist!

....tell me that's NOT Lucifer personified!

POLT

Hoyt, go eat a book. - Robson, OZ

Suspicions rising, answers aren't clear...

okay, I got 7 guesses, so I suppose I'll answer my 4 truths and 1 lie from here. The guesses are:

#1: Eating spaghettios from the can - No one
#2: Afraid of balloons - Tornwordo & Onanite
#3: Collected placemats - Exile & Ed
#4: Fear of guns - Ladyxandria
#5: Grew an extra tooth - Jessica & Amie

And the lie is......#4. I don't like guns, but my uncle never took me into the woods to shoot one. And I did hold a police officers issued handgun once...a friend of mine was dating him and he let me hold it. but that it, never held another real firearm.

#1, 2, 3, & 5 are obviously all truths!

Thanks, everyone, for playing. I'll try it again soon.

POLT Oil: 65.65 (+.08); Gas: 3.10 (+.01)

Guys don't gossip, they talk shit.

Flying higher than all the birds in the sky...

Freddie called me this afternoon at work. Today was the first day of his summer intern job. (The college he goes to and his major there requires a certain amount of intern time at various animal/zoo places) He's working a bird sanctuary near his house. I, as a concerned and interested boyfriend, asked him how it went.

There was a heavy sigh, followed by this statement: "I...HATE...owls."

He had to clean out the owls' cage. Apparently, owls vomit back up everything they eat that they dont want, like the bones, fur, what have you. And it stunk so bad, he almost threw up. And they kept hooting at him. And it was a small area so he couldn't even really stand up straight.

Then, he had to re-gravel this walkway through the aviary. And since they didn't want any of the birds to catch cold, they had the heat up. When it was hot outside. So it was like a million and a half degrees. And he had to load this gravel into a wheelbarrow and push it to the aviary. By the nest of a goose who would hiss at him everytime he went by. And he almost ran over a snake with the wheelbarrow. And it was heavy.

And then he had to lug bales of hay to the deer to feed them, and the ostrich there. And then they had to feed the emus, 12 emus in a.....i don't know, cage? range? Whatever, where they lived and were hungry.

He was SO tired! he was just going to go home, take a shower, and get right to bed for a nap. he was talking to me about 3:00 pm....he had worked at the sanctuary for three hours. Three WHOLE hours.

*snicker, snicker*

i was sympathetic and understanding, but I was also chuckling inside. Pampered kids nowadays. .....Oh, who am i kidding, I'd be whining just as much, if not more, if I was forced to do it too!

POLT

Damn your black heart, Barbra Streisand! - Cartman, South Park

Now it's finally beginning to dawn...

One final comment on Jerry Falwell, by way of a political cartoon...



heheheh...it must be quite a shock for the old bigot, eh?

POLT

At my age, they say a day without pain means you're dead. - Vigilante, Soldiers Of Victory #0

Too much information for my head (Part 43)...

As always I get these from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/

1. What was your first job? I delivered pizzas for Dominos. No, my aunt managed a nearby clothing store at the outlets, and she had me come over a few times to sweep up and help her move things for under-the-table cash. But she was too bossy, and I was only 16 and not gonna put up with it, so I only did it a few times.

2. When did you go to your first funeral? Man, I have no idea. I remember my grandmother's cousin dying back when i was in 4th grade. Mom picked me up at school and drove us to the funeral and on the way, I changed in the car. So that's probably the first I can remember.

3. What is the sexiest word in the English dictionary? Eighteen. Especially when referring to cute, ripe, eager, willing, untouched gay men.

4. Are you left handed or right handed? Which direction does the top of your head lean when you kiss on the lips? I am right handed in all things except for ping pong...go figure THAT one out. And when I kiss, my head tilts to the right.

5. Males: Which way do you dress?Females: Which breast is larger? I don't really pay attention to that, clothes nowadays don't really require a man to dress a certain side, do they? But if I do, it's usually to the right.

Bonus (as in optional):Define sexy? A length of hair falling over a guy's slightly glazed over eyes as he's looking at me and smiling, just enough to slighty raise the corners of his wide, moist, kissable lips, and moaning deep in his throat at what my hands are doing to him....

...that or this:



POLT Oil:65.53 (-1.39); Gas: 3.09 (+.03)

You want to come in fifth in a three man race? - Josh, The West Wing

They're heroic or pathetic, depending on which book you buy...

Okay, this post is all about the Heroes season finale, and it's probable there will be spoilers, so if you haven't seen it yet, and want to, read no further!



Can you beLIEVE it???? Oh my GOD! I certainly did not expect a lot of things that happened this time! (I didn't exepect Linderman's death last episode either, but that's another post.) I love how it built and built. it was not at ALL anti-climatic.

Was I the only one to literally cheer out loud when Nikki grabbed the parking meter and smacked it into Sylar? Was I the only one who gasped when Hiro actually ran Sylar through? His name is NOAH???? And was I the only one to shout, "OHMIGOD!" when I realized Nathan was going to fly Peter away???? (although technically, couldn't Peter have flown himself away?) And was I the only one to shudder a bit when Molly talked about the "worse" boogie man?

Look, like in all the comics, I don't expect for a second Peter, Nathan, and Sylar are actually dead. I can think of like two or three ways they all survived. It would kinda lessen the impact of the episode a bit (well not Sylar's, cause we all know he crawled away), but still the episode was great.

What surprised me, about the whole series, was how they killed off so many characters. I might be missing some, but there Linderman, the Eric Roberts character, Ted Sprague, the little chick that was Mohinder's neighbor, the waitress in Texas, Isaac, Isaac girlfriend...I mean they all could have been major characters.

but what else surprised me was how everything was brought around. I mean, Molly is the little girl we saw in the beginning, Mrs. Petrelli isn't the shoplifting bird brain I thought her to be, Mr. Devereau, the Peterillis, Linderman, Mr. Nakamora, etc, all involved in this...conspiracy.

Anyway, the series as a whole was very entertaining. There were some slow spots, but it was all building to this episode, and I, for one, am impressed with how they did it, considering this is TV! you don't expect this kind of stuff from the boob tube.

POLT

What the hell do you know, you fat sweaty mongoloid? - Stan, South Park

Have some fun, probably won't see no money...

Just wait, the Republicans will start pushing things like this:

The Democrats are anti-soldier. They're pro-terrorists. they don't want to pay your soldiers or pay for the to have the basics. And look what's happened!



Well, if it doesn't work for the Republicans, maybe it can be used to try to recruit more gay men into the military. Would make me think twice....

POLT Oil:66.92 (+2.11); Gas: 3.06 (+.03)

We can't govern if we don't win. - Toby Zeigler, The West Wing

Week 96...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS




























POLT

There's one thing I'll say for adolescent males - what they lack in technique and sophistication, they make up for in eagerness and sheer muscular power. Oh, and the ability to cum multiple times in a row.

Let's get unconscious, honey (Part 48)...

As always, these come from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Coastguard :: Laura
Buddies :: Bosom
Nap :: Grandpa
Groan :: Moan
Sitcom :: Stupid
Reader :: Book
Heroes :: Justice League
Amazing :: Amazon
Woman :: Wonder
Don’t! :: Do it!

POLT Oil: 61.84 (-.13); Gas: 3.03 (+.01)

That's not a dust bunny, that's a dust cat! - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

To escape from the true false world..

I did at least one of these before, but we'll try it again.

4 Truths And 1 Lie

Below I'll list 5 things, 4 are true, 1 is a lie. I'll leave you to guess as to which is the lie in the comments. I'll reveal the answer in a couple days, so keep checking back.

1. When I was a kid, my favorite way to eat Spaghetti-Os was to open the can and eat them right out of it, uncooked.
2. When I was a kid I was afraid, almost to the point of being phobic, of balloons.
3. When I was a kid, I collected placemats from restaurants I visited.
4. When I was a kid, my uncle took me out into the woods wanting to show me how to shoot a rifle. The loud noise scared me so badly it turned me off to guns and I have never touched real gun or rifle in my life.
5. When I was a kid, I had an extra fang-like tooth that grew in behind my two front teeth. I had to have surgery to have it removed. My mother has the tooth still.

Have fun!

POLT

The Penguin? Ooo, flightless, Antarctic fowl... scary! - Batgirl, Nightwing #104

But heroes will never let you down just as long as they're dead...

So, am I wrong for thinking that Sylar, on Heroes, is pretty freaking sexy?



I mean he's still evil and all, yeah, I got that. But he got his head lowered a bit, and is looking up with that sinister grin on his face, well...he gets me all swoony!

Not that he's the ONLY thing worth looking at on Heroes! I mean, Peter is kinda cute, but kinda dopey too, however, in the future episode, with the stubble and the slicked back hair, and the dark clothes, and the attitude and yes, even the scar, he was HOT!



I always had a thing for Isaac, what with his hairthing he ALWAYS had going on. And before he detoxed, he had a lot of stubble too, and I think, frequently, in wife-beaters! Although now that he's decapitated and decomposing on the floor of his apartment/workspace, I think his desirablity might be a smidge less.



While Hiro is a cool character, he's not really cute or hot or anything. Ando, however, well, I DO have a thing for Asian men, dontcha know?



Oh and there's Mohinder! Usually is rocking the stubbled/hairthing look himself rather well!



And let's not forget the written-out little Gothboy/gayboy cutie friend of Claire's, Zach. And I don't care what the writers, his agents or the message boards say, Zach was a gay character. I could tell from the first episode he was! He was, I tell ya!



And back to the future episode, did anyone else get moist at Clarie's fiance, Andy? Holy Moley, that boy was sex personafied! his smile, his lips, his rocked body (what we saw of it), hell if I was gonna marry him, I wouldn't wanna pass that up either! The actors name is Kellen Lutz, and look what your Uncle Polt found for you online!

























You don't have to thank me.

POLT

Lord Of The Rings is Christian as hell, dude!