Caught up in the corporate undertow...

Last week, a co-worker, who we'll call Jim because his real name is Arthur, left for a weekend at the beach. He and his family were gone Thursday through Monday. Today was his first day back. he came into my office a bit before noon, and his forehead above his right eye and his cheek below and to the right of the same eye, were all sraped up, scabbed over and looking very sore. Naturally, I showed my compassion and concern by exclaiming, loudly, "Jim! What the HELL did you do to your face????"

He scowled and waved his hand dismissively and asked me what he had come to ask me. And I let it all go then. But later in the day, a bit before it was time to leave, he came back my office again and sat himself down with a heavy sigh. Before he said anything, I asked again, what happened. He sighed again, with a sly smile and told me the story.

He was at the beach, and was in the ocean, body surfing...or attempting to. (he's about 58, and has had a hip replaced) He said there was a wave that he thought he could catch and ride in. But he misjudged it and it crashed down over him, smashing him first into the bottom and the sending him tumbling, as he put it 'ass over ankles'. he did several somersualts and was washed in to where the tide met the sand. He said he put his head up and saw several lifeguards running towards him, shouting at him to stay still.

It was only then that he mentioned that the water was quite cold that day, and he needed something to compensate, SO, before going onto the beach, he had had a few marguritas. I asked how many a few were, and he said, "Oh only two. Or maybe three. No probably four. Of the BIG ones" and indicated with his fingers a glass about a 10 inches high or so. And then he added that, "I wasn't drunk, just....warm. And that's all I wanted."

SO anyway, the lifeguards got there and held his head still and was telling him not to move and stuff. He said he could tell he wasn't seriously hurt, cause the only thing hurting was the burning on his face. (this is when i offered that he probably wasn't hurt cause he was so drunk, he didn't fight the wave and was just pushed along with it. he didn't argue, just laughed.)

They wouldn't let him stand up. They thought he was hurt worse than he was. Finally, they had him stand, and wanted to see how well he stood. Well, not only was he disorientated, but he was also inebriated, and so of COURSE he was swaying. They suggested he go to the local health center. he refused, saying he'd just go back to the hotel and his wife could bandage him up (they wre just really bad brushburns on his face).

Once he convinced the lfieguards of this, and signed some paper that they had with them refusing treatment or whatever, they started to leave. He wanted to wash all the sand off his back, so he started back towards the water. BAD MOVE! All the lifeguards came running back, put themselves between him and the water and inSISTed he get medical attention. They didn't make him go to a doctor or whatever, but they escorted him from the beach, four of them around him as they walked him to the boardwalk. They had him surrounded like the cops do during those "perp walks" they show on TV. And they stood there while he walked back towards the hotel. And they didn't look happy.

He siad it was the first time he was kicked off a beach by a bunch of lifeguards. But man his face DID look painful, VERY painful. And he said it was.

There's a moral to this story somewhere, but neither or nor I looked for it.

POLT = listening to "Sexual" by Amber

Don't accept candy from strangers; get real estate.