Will you be the superman...

I work with this lady, whom we'll call Laura. She has this thing for Kevin Spacey. She adores him. 'Fan' does not go far enough in describing her. In January of this year, when she found out he was playing Lex Luthor in the new Superman movie, she came to me almost right away. Her husband does NOT want to see the movie and she knew I collected comic books and have the Superman tattoo, so she told me, "Polt, WE are going to see the Superman movie, when it comes out, on opening night!" I shrugged and was like, "Okay, whatever." thinking it's months away and she'll forget.

Did I underestimate her.

She informed me in March or April that the movie was coming out Friday June 30th, and we would BE there, at the first available showing. I really honestly hadn't planned on seeing it opening night. I do NOT have high hopes or expectations for the movie, frankly, I think it will suck. I planned on going a few days after the opening date to avoid all the rabid crowds and freaks. But she's telling me we're going opening night, so what could I do?

Then, about a month or so ago, she tells me they've changed the date to Wednesday June 28th and we'll be going then. I told her okay, and asked which showing. She said the first one. I said that's probably a midnight showing, like at 12:01 Wednesday morning. She said she knew, and that's the one we were going to. I groaned, but I already promised, so what could I do?

THEN, this past week, she came rushing into my office, all in a tizzy. The exchange went roughly as follows:

Laura: POLT! A local theater is having a special EARLY showing of Superman on Tuesday night at 10:00! We are THERE!
Me: Aw, Laura...that kind of early showing is gonna bring all the freaks out. I mean, like at Lord of The Rings movies, those showings had hobbits and wizards, and Star Trek premieres at that time have people in Vulcan ears, and Star Wars premieres have people in Darth Vader outfits -
Laura: I don't care, we're going THEN!
Me: Laura, this is all new to you, but I've SEEN these people before. There will be guys there in capes and costumes and -
Laura: We're going to see it that night!
Me: Laura, I don't really want to go then and have to deal with all -
Laura: I'll pay for your ticket.
Me: I'm there. Add two more freaks to the tally.





She told me I'd have to buy my own popcorn and soda, but I doubt I'll get any. I still don't really want to go at that time, but hell, it's a free ticket, right? Who can argue with that? But I don't care what she says, I am NOT wearing a cape!

POLT = listening to "Young, Dumb 'N' Full Of Cum" by Whale

In the trees, our sons stand naked. - U2