Found these last week online, forgot I had them. Don't recall where I got them either. They're some dating tips. I laughed at some...
#1 Do not take home drunk bitches from parties. Inevitably they will shoot you in the gut with your own gun, kidnap your dog and steal your car, although not necessarily in that order.
#2 There is a certain age range that one should observe. For instance if you are over 25, a 20 year old is probably not your best choice, you may want to go with someone closer to your age. This rule is only applicable to women, cos men will date anything with 2 breasts and a giggle, age is not important to the cock.
#3 Buying gifts that can die isn't your best bet. Living animals and cut flowers being the biggest offenders in this group, with houseplants running a close second, are just a bad bad bad idea. Don't follow Nike's advice, just don't do it.
#4 Dating outside your intellect is like playing with fire, sometimes you get burned and sometimes it's just 'Ooo pretty.'
#5 Never trust someone who just wants to 'share' a bed. They will break your heart in a million ways and not even realize it.
#6 Girls, if he dresses better than you, smells better than you, and dances better than you, he's probably not interested in you.
#7 Chicks are like cow patties: the older they get the easier they are to pick up.
#8 There's a fine line between falling for someone and stalker. Know where the line is, and don't cross it. Cooking a pet in a pot of boiling is a dead giveaway you've crossed it.
#9 Unless you look like Brad Pitt, being spitting, slurring, glazed eyed drunk is really not all that impressive to prospective dates.
#10 Your mom's basement is really not a romantic place for a hook up. Even a room at the Motel 6 has it's charms.
They really all seemed self evident to me, but hey, maybe somebody needs to know this.
POLT
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for I am the meanest mutha there!
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