Ain't nothing gonna stop the flow...

Okay, so I'm sitting in my office this morning, actually working (and we all know how rare that is) entering stuff in the computer, and in comes a co-worker of mine, I'll call her S. She and I have a pretty good relationship at work. So when I saw her coming in, I smile and said, "Hey, you!" But as soon as I saw her face, I knew something was wrong. She shut the door and sat in the chair, and just kinda stared at the floor.

I asked her, "You okay?" And, without looking up from the floor, she said, "Yeah...no...oh I dont know!" So I asked what was wrong. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, through pursed lips, "I'm PMS-ing!"

Now, I changed my facial expression to one of sympathy and I might have even uttered an "Awwww." But inside, I'm cringing and going, "EWWWW! ickyickyicky! blech!" I HATE that...that thing that women do. I mean, I know it's not thier fault, and they can't help it, and that's why I try to be sympathetic and compassionate, but dear Lord, they're bleeding...and from down there for God's sake. It's just creepy.

But S. then went on, "It's never really been an issue much before," she looked back down to the floor. "But it's been bad over the last three months." Ah-HA, I think, there's something that's happened in the last three months that's given her added stress. I can focus on that, maybe try to help with that some way. So I ask, "Is there something that's happened in the last three-"

And that's all the further I got. She jerked her head back up, eyes open wide, flaring with anger. "Why? What have you heard?" oh, it was the voice of Satan himself coming from this sweet girl's lips. And I know that time I did indeed cringe. Trying to back pedal quickly I murmured something like, "Oh...um, nothing, I haven't heard-" but again, that's all i got out.

She jerked her head away and looked back down to the floor, covering her eyes with her hand. "Oh, I shouldn't yell at you," she said between sobs. "It's not your fault." And me, speaking before i think once again, say, "Well, who's fault is it then?" Now, i didn't say this accusatorily or anything, i said it softly, empathically.

Nonetheless, she jerked her head back up again and looked at me once more. And there were tears cascading down her cheeks, like a waterfall. If she had been shorter, and older, with bad hair and too much makeup, she'd look just like Tammy Fae Bakker, circa 1988. And when she spoke to me, it was as if she were talking to a small child, or someone a bit slow in the head, "It's NOBODY'S fault, it's just what happens!"

Okay, okay, i thought....there's no winning this battle. The animalistic instinct of fight or flight kicked in for a second, and I knew, in her present condition, she could take me easily in a fight...but she was between me and door, my only escape. And besides, it was my office. SO i thought what can i do? I decided to just sit there and nod at appropriate times. Just kinda ride it out...like one does for any other force of nature one can't control, a hurricane or tornado for example.

S. then went on to tell me about her mood swings (like that was necessary), and how her husband hasn't even touched her in days (which doesn't surprise me...he didn't know if he'd get to caress things, or just yank back a bloody stump of an arm), and how she was fat and ugly (which she isn't, not in either case), and how she is SO pissed at this other coworker John. He had the audacity to have this conversation with her: S. "Man, it was hot outside this morning." John "I don't think it's that hot outside, not like it was earlier in the week." Oh THAT just set her right off! "How can he say its not hot??? I'm dying in a puddle of my own sweat here! And it's air conditioned in HERE! He ought to try to deal with this heat while have hot flashes! And all this damn humidity...God, the water retention I have! LOOK at these ankles will you!" at which point she raised her legs up and showed me her ankles....which, by the way, looked perfectly normal to me. but I nodded very sympathetically...I mean I'd learned my lessons from earlier.

So she was in my office for roughly I'd say 20 minutes, and after my initial attempts at talking, I think the only thing i said to her was goodbye. But I did a lot of nodding and agreeing. And then eventually, she stood up and said, "Oh you are such great friend. You always know what to say to help." (Or in this case what NOT to say, and when not to say it) and then she hugged me, started crying again, took a few tissues and left.

I sat a few moments just to get my bearings and to see what kind of cleanup i needed to do to the office after the storm had passes. Apparently, everything made it through okay.

But dear GOD, I do pity her husband right now. And I thank GOD yet again I'm gay!

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Just found this online:

Supreme Court Justice O'Connor retiring
First female member of court; key swing vote on abortion, death penalty

Oh, God....and now, the bloodletting begins.....
let's all watch Bushie appoint someone to make Scalia look liberal, watch the Senate tear itself in half (or more), and once Bushies selection gets appointed (which it will, because the Senate Republicans will change the rules so that they get thier way, like spoiled children) then watch for the ripping to shreds of the Constitutional rights we have all taken for granted. This is the beginning of a truly dark period in America....

POLT

Never borrow a turkey baster from a lesbian.