Monday, July 04, 2005

All I want is you...

I am, right now, feeling somewhat melancholic about relationship issues. Surprisingly for me, this isn't all the uncommon recently. And I feel certain that, come tomorrow morning, after a good night's sleep, these feelings will have abated, but right now, they're here. So, I found something I wrote about 10 years ago during a period of similar feelings. It's not really poetry, I am unable to write poetry actually. At any rate, this helped me at the time and i feel like putting it here. It's titled Wants.


Wants
I want a man.
Not a cocksucker, they're a token a dozen at the bookstore;
Not a fuckbuddy that makes hasty excuses and leaves before the cum is dry;
Not a pretty boy, that I'd have to worry continuously about straying;
Not a psycho, with Prozac dependence, neediness, habitual lying, smothering protectiveness or other "issues";
Not a hustler, because paying for sex is demeaning;
Not a 'significant other', whatever the hell that means, exactly;
Not a son looking for a daddy, or a daddy looking for a son, but an equal;
Not a partnet, because we're not a business;
Not a momma's boy, because I already have a mother and dont' need another in my life;
Not trade, I did enough of the 'you-do-me-and-I'll-not-do-you' shit in high school;
Not a boytoy, because what, really, do I have in common with an 18-20 year old;
Not a slacker, because I am not a sugar daddy;
Not a poseur, becuase, ultimately, without honesty, all you have is lies;
Not a husband, because I am not June Cleaver;
Not a knight in shining armor, because I am not a damsel in dsitress, nor in need of rescue;
Not a drama queen, because i have enough drama already;
Not a nelly boy, because if I wanted a woman, I'd be a breeder;
But a man.
A man that I find attractive and finds me attractive,
That has a job,
And that I can take home to meet my family.

Is that really too much to ask?

I don't know that i necessarily agree with all this 10 years out, but i do agree with a number of them. And I don't know that I still want a man...what do I want, exactly?

Ya know, I'm sorry to drag all this into the blog that much. I'll just end it here before it gets any more maudlin. And i'll return to my normal posts tomorrow.

POLT

Well, I'm going to spend some time with my scrotum, we may as well enjoy our last couple of hours together. - Herr Starr, Preacher #56

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