I was given the duties of checking on Maury's cats again. Even though I really hate cats, Maury's a good friend, how could I say no? And it's not like I've got to pick them up or hold them or anything.
So after work, I stop by Muary's house, and this time I had no trouble with unlocking the door, nor shutting off the alarm. Having done that, I turned on the stairs light and up I went. I got to the first bedroom door. The last time I did this, the black cat, named Obi, was right by the door, ready to run out and make good his escape, but we (and by we, I mean Ag) prevented it. SO this time, i just opended the door a crack, expect Obi to be there. But nope, no sign of him. SO I called for him, and didn't see anything. I opened the door took a step in and called again. And then ZOOM! out of the bathroom, across the room, through my legs and out the door he went. I turned and saw nothing but cat tail and ass making its way down the steps.
Swearing slightly, I went to retrieve him. I reached the landing on hte steps, and at the bottom of them, stood Obi. he was looking up at me, and I could just tell he was laughing at me...damn cats, I hate them. SO I called to him; asked him nicely to come back upstairs; told him I had just seen a fat lazy mouse walk across the hallway; explained that I thought there was a sweet piece of fish in the bedroom...all to no avail. THe cat didn't believe me..stupid cur. It just stood at the bottom of the stairs and stared at me, every so often, opening its mouth and making a noise. It wasn't a purr, and it wasnt a hiss...I dont know how else to describe it but to say it sounded like laughter...damn furball.
I called Obi's name in a rather horrid falsetto, that I'm certain would frighten small children and dogs...but to which Obi responded. Well, sorta. He wanted me to THINK he was responding to it, and he came up to the step below the one I was standing on, and walked back and forth, allowing to think he would follow me on up the steps..but OH NO! he had other plans. I got to the top of the steps, called for him...and he took off down the steps again and around the corner.
I've got proof of this. First one is Obi and the bottom of the stairs, second is him at my feet on the stairs:
Damn cat......anyway, I had to go down the steps after him. And as I start down, he took off, downt he stairs and into the dining room. I swore at him, and at every cat I had ever known, and got downstairs. As I got into the dining room, I saw him darting into the kitchen. So when I got there, I saw him going around the sofa into the living room area. It wasn't so much me chasing him as it was him leading me and me following. I wasn't running after him, I kept just trying to stop him so I couple.....>ick< pick him up and carry him back upstairs. BUt when I got around the sofa, thinking I had him cornered, he ran up on the sofa, over it and back out into the hallway. When i got back out towards the stairs, I saw him going back into the dining room. I had seen enough cartoons as a kid to know this is NOT the way to catch a cat.
I went back up to the landing on the stairs and called him. He didn't respond. I even tried the flasetto again...nope no go. So then I thought, well, my dog comes when I call her this way so I tried it. Calling Obi enthusiastically and clapping my hands and stuff. And, damn, if the cat didnt come out of the dining room and start up the stairs. So i got him back upstairs, but he hesitated at going back in the bedroom. I thought I might have to pick him up, but didn't want to, so I went into the bedroom, and called him that way. And he came to the doorway, where i just kinda put my hand on the back of his head and while scratching there, i kinda pushed him into the room with me and shut the door.
Having that under control now, I went into the attached bathroom and checked the food and water, which were both sufficient. WHen i went back into the bedroom, I didn't see Obi anywhere. I opened the door, figuring he was hiding under the bed or something.
Laying onthe bed, were some pillows and what I thought were stuffed animals. I never paid much attention to them, as they didn't concern me. But as I opened the door, somethign big ball of fluff, that was actually another cat, jumped off the bed onto the floor. Oh I screamed like a little girl! I mean, I hadn't seen the other cat the last time, and i didn't see it this time, and I thought...well, I don't know what I thought, but I know it scared me out of a year's worth of life. I think I scared it with my scream, cause when it hit the floor, it didn't move and just stared at me, unmoving until I went out and shut the door.
And that was just thr first room.
I went to the next door, and when I opened it, there was a cat on the floor in front of the door, jsut kinda sitting there. i told him he couldn't come out, he needed to move back, and, much to my shock, he did. He walked back to the bed, walked a small circle and then sat there, watching me. The other cat, on the bed, looked up at me, and just stared, the eyes of Satan looking back at me. I know, you're gonna say, 'Oh Polt, you exaggerate." But I got proof of that too! 
You can practically see the brimstone coming out its nostrils, can't ya? Anyway, I talked to them both, telling them they can stay there while I check the food and water. That's when the one on the floor hissed at me, in its demon voice. I just ignored it and went into the bathroom and checked the food and water. Next to the door was a counter of some sort, and when I turned to leave, the one that had been on the floor was sitting on the counter...yet i had not heard it enter the room or jump on the counter. DEMON SPAWN I TELL YOU! Anyway, I said something to it about being sneaky or what have you, and it cut me off with another hiss. It hissed at me three times. I was afraid to go passed it. i jsut KNEW it was thinking about jumping up and landing on my face and digging its claws into my eyes, or cheeks or something. So I managed to get out of the bathroom and out into the hallway without incident...although, had the cat on the bed starting rotating its head in a 360 degree circle and spouting Latin while puking pea soup, I would NOT have been surprised.
I didn't have any issues with setting the alarm or locking up...again, a good thing. but I've got to go back Monday to check on them again...and this time...I'm taking AG with me! If for no other reason that she'll be another target for their attacks instead of me alone.
POLT
Keep drinking honey. I like you better drunk than sober. - Burgess Meredith, Madame X
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