Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie!
(note how it's all blue....get it...blue balls...get it, get it??????)
This week I witnessed an event that led me to the most frightening conclusion of my life. A young black girl in my graduate program was badly treated by a guy in my group who I will call W. W had previously told me that his middle name is literally "Strom Thurmond." I didn’t believe him until I saw his driver’s license. Strom Thurmond was actually his great uncle. This caused me to think back to my genetic classes and that’s when I realized W is approximately 1/8 Strom Thurmond. That’s right, he’s a Strom Thurmond Deviant (STD). So what does this have to do with testicles? What we have is a hybrid that’s a 1/8th STD and has balls so massive that he will openly admit to his relation. He has the capacity to spread 1/16th STDs all over the world. Not only that, but he’s not the only one. Strom has a huge family, so that when they gather for a family reunion there will be several multiples of STs in the room. This is even more frightening when you realize that W is from Virginia and most of his relatives are southerners. Given southerners proclivity for inbreeding, it is only a matter of time before all these 1/8th and 1/16th STDs start mating and reforming The Strom.
Regardless of your religious beliefs, you will be forced to accept two things: first, the second coming of Strom Thurmond will clearly cause the end of the world, or at least any world worth living in. Second, there will be no god. I can forgive holocausts, plagues, earthquakes, and hurricanes, but I can’t accept a god that will allow two Strom Thurmonds.
POLT = listening to "Song To The Siren" by The Chemical Brothers
No virtuous man has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth readling. - H.L.Mencken
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