IN one of the Kill Bill movies, someone asked, "Do you feel more regret or relief?" And ever since then I've been thinking about regrets. I try not to regret much (being selfish and self-centered helps a lot) and try to live by the mantra: It's better to regret something you did than something you did not do.
After much reflection (well, much for me), I can recall two things in my entire life that I regret.
1) when I was like 10, I went to Hershey Park with my family. While we were there, I had use the bathroom. When I had finished, and washed my hands, I was drying them with paper towels when this kid who might been 5 or 6 came up to me. (yes, we were both without adult supervision then, and yes, the men's room was a bustle with men using the facilities, but this was 30 years ago, the 70's were a different time than now, but I digress....) The kid looked up and said he couldn't get his pants unbuttoned or his zipper down or something like that, and asked me for help. I told him no, and threw the paper towels away and left.
By the time I got to my parents, I was wracked with guilt. What if he couldn't get them open and he peed himself? All I had to do was unbutton a button. His whole trip to the park could have been ruined, because he had wet pants. Finally I told mom what happened. She told me he probably just found someone else to help him. But I couldn't stand it. I HAD to go back. Mom said something about it being too late (it was like already 15 minutes after I left the restroom) but I HAD to go back. I ran all the way there, and when I got there, he was nowhere to be found. I looked and looked and couldnt' find him. I returned to my parents, crying. I felt horrible and moped around all day. How could I have been so rude? I hope someone else DID help him out. I can still see his brown hair and big brown eyes looking up at me, pleading, even today. I really regret that!
2) About 10 years ago, I had two very good friends, a girl whom I'll call A and a guy whom I'll call B. B was quite the hottie! And A and I would frequently comment, when he wasn't around, about how hot he was and how we both wanted him, and stuff like that. Eventually, B and I did fool around, nothing more than mutual j/o's and me going down on him, but we fooled around nontheless. After the first time, we talked about doing it again later and both agreed it would be fun. But he said he just didn't want A to find out, he said he'd tell her when he was ready. I agreed I wouldn't say anything.
Riiiight.
The next time A and I were alone, I told her. Only because I was so surprised and excited that B and I were fooling around. And she was all excited FOR me! She said she was jealous too, and honestly, that was kinda why I told her too. But I also told her not to say anything, cause he wanted to tell her when he was ready.
Yeah, you all see what happened, don't cha? After about two more times of us being together, B came to my house FURIOUS! He said A had come to him and said if there's anything he wanted to tell her, he could, cause she was cool with everything. Oh, it was bad. B was cursing and swearing, and what could I do? I just sat there and took it.
B and I had nothing to do with each other for about a year. Ironically enough, A & B ended up married about three years after all this. turns out B was just curious and experimenting.
Nontheless, I REALLY regret that. Not only did I betray a trust, and lost a friend, but I lost all the hot sex sessions I could have had with him. But seriously, I lost a friendship over something so stupid as, basically, bragging.
And that's all I really regret in my life. There are other things I wish I hadn't done, or wish I had done, but I don't really regret them, the outcomes were all okay in the end. Two regrets, not too bad, methinks.
POLT = listening to "I Know What Boys Want" by The Waitresses
"This is an emergency!" "No, THIS is an emergency! They're break-dancing strippers, dude!" - Chester, Dude, Where's My Car
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