You can't understand, how i could just kill a man...

I wasn't going to post again tonight, as it's late and I need to get to bed, but I just HAVE to post this. I just got done watching Kill Bill Vol. 1 on cable.



I am not a fan of Tarantino films, generally. And I am not a fan of gratuitous blood, gore and violence. That's why I didn't see the film in the theaters. But I heard all the critics raving about it, so I thought maybe there's something to it, and i wanted to see it sometime. And now I have. And I'm GLAD I did!

Yes there was blood, gore and violence in it, but it was so...over the top, so campy, as to almost be cartoonish, and I had no problems with it. And as for the movie as a whole, hell I even laughed out loud at part. I mean what's not to like? It starts with a quote from Star Trek;it's got a gun in a cereal box; a Japanese teenage villianous that would fit in any Bond film; a swordfight scene that reminded me of a Bruce Lee fight scene but without the fisticuffs or something out of the Matrix; some Crouching TIger, Hidden Dragon kinda moves; severed heads, arms, legs, and even the ripping out of an eyeball; a GREAT scene where she gets revenge on the guy who was raping her while she was comatose; cute Asian guys in Kato masks; lots of great music, played at the perfect moments; a Japanese dance club; a knife fight with a suburban housewife; the "Pussy Wagon"; flashbacks told in anime; switching from black and white to color; and Daryl Hannah in an eye patch. How could one NOT like it! I might just end up having to buy this one.

Cant' wait for vol. 2 tomorrow night!

POLT = listening to "Dancing Queen" by ABBA

I'm so hungry I could eat a woman. - Bi-Polar Bear, Queer Duck

Compromise, now reflect, but not too long...

Yesterday I got home in the afternoon and there was a message on my machine. It was from Donna at my Credit Union. I needed to call her back, because she needed to talk to me about my debit card. Naturally, I immediately started to panic. Had I overdrawn my checking by using the card? Was there not enough money in savings to cover it? I get paid Thursday, hopefully they could wait until then to allow me to cover it all?

So I called and spoke to her. Apparently what happened was, some business sent them a list with card numbers that had possibly been compromised. And my card was on the list. This didn't mean my card had been used, just that it might have been. SO they closed the account on that card, and said I should destroy it. And that they'd send me a new card in 7-10 days. ANd then I'm supposed to check my statement to see if there's any unauthorized transactions. (Wonder if I can claims the money I spent on the wedding gifts as unauthorized? Nah, better not...)

And I was all happy and glad they were being so proactive. And then it hit me. I had 10 bucks in my wallet, no debit card to buy anything with, and no debit card to get money out of the ATM. And no way to get to the credit union before it closes after work. And I'll be like that for 7-10 days. ..............damn......... But luckily, Mama Polt gave me some cash, and I'll return it, once I can get to an ATM.

Damn modern technology...it's our blessing AND our curse!

POLT = listening to "Supersonic" by Oasis

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun. - Billy Joel, Only The Good Die Young

Talkin about my g-g-g-generation...

Today at work, mom called me to ask if I wanted to go out for supper. She was taking my grandmother and my cousin Lexi along. I said sure. Welet Lexi decide, which meant we ate at McDonalds. But that's okay, I don't mind. And a good time was had by all.

But I realized that we had 4 generations there at once, so I tried to get a photo...which didn't come out as well as I had hoped, but whatcha gonna do?



So there's grandma Polt, Lil Lexi, Mama Polt, and me, Polt! Grandma Polt's daughter, grandson, and great-granddaughter are all there with her. No, Lexi is not mine. She is the kid of my cousin. But my parents get her about once a week, once every other week, and have her for the evening. They take her to eat (hence, the McDonald's), or take her to the park to play, or take her miniture golfing, or what have you. They let her play with thier dog, and mom colors with her, and plays memory games, or cuts out things in consruction paper, and what have you. Lexi loves it, cause, frankly, her own parents (divorced) don't spend that much time doing things with her, and her own grandmother (mom's sister) is a grouch too. SO she loves the getaway time.

And it's good for mom too, cause she'd make an AWESOME grandmother! That's actually my one and only regret about being gay: that I won't give my mother any grandkids. Not that mom has ever complained about it. Even if she did feel disappointed, she'd never say anything. As I may have mentioned, Mama Polt is a SAINT!

The nightdidnt' last long, cause grandma Polt was tired, and Lexi wanted to go play games. SO they dropped me off, and went on thier merry ways. But it was fun anyway.

POLT = listening to "Express Yourself" by Madonna

I may not be perfect, but some parts of me are excellent!

Fat man at the window, bet you know why...

Yesterday, I finished my most recent book:



I LOVE Jack Germond. I loved him on the McLaughlin Group, and later on Inside Washington. I love that after Charles Krauthammer would parrot the Republican Party line, and Nina Totenberg would spout her liberal, NPR line, Jack would just cut through all the shit they had both said and get right to the point.

I remember back during the 1996 Election, Bob Dole fell forward once off the platform he was on in front of the cameras. Krauthammer was trying to convince everyone it was a good thing, cause how quickly he recovered himself showed that he wasn't too old to be president and it would be a big boost to his chances to win, and Nina was saying something about how his handlers had screwed up and how it showed his campaign in disarray. And Gordon Peterson asked Jack his thoughts on it. Jack looked at him a few seconds, and then almost laughed and said, "Some railing wasn't secured tightly. And man leaned on it and fell down. happens everyday. Nobody outside of DC even CARES about this!" And I applauded! he was so right!

His book is excellent as well. Very insightful. he's got like 40 years of covering politics for newspapers. he's seen it all, and seen it all go down hill. A very interesting read for any political junkie, or anyone concerned about the state of American politics.

POLT = listening to "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.

I am an actor. OF COURSE I can play a heterosexual. - Sir John Gielgud

In the dark, I get such a thrill...

Things I've Learned In 2006, #6:

When attempting to apply Anbesol to a cold sore on the inside of your lip, it's best to NOT do it in the dark.

******
I tried to do it, and had no idea how much of the gel I had squeezed onto my fingertip, so when I put it in my mouth, the gel oozed all over the inside of my lower lip, from one end of my mouth to the other AND onto the right side and front of my tongue. A minute later, I had feeling ONLY on a patch along the left side of my tongue, and my upper lip. And a horrible taste all through my mouth.

And the worst part was, I did this prior to wanting to kiss someone. Luckily, he didnt' care. And I don't THINK he tasted too much of the gel....although he might have just been being polite when I asked him about it.

The moral of the story is: use a light to apply anbesol gel.

POLT = listening to "Head Over Heels" by The Go-Go's

"He could be lying be bed right now...dead!" "How could you tell?" - Brian, Queer As Folk

My life, bad religion, I'm beggin for relief...

Last week at one point, I was going to the Palace for one reasons or another. Because I am a fast, but not so accurate typist, I misspelled the address. And i was taken a religious site! The Abundant Bible or something! I was shocked! I mean, it's just a juxtaposition of two letters, you can see it for yourself: http://poltspalace.blogpsot.com . as you can hopefully see, it's at blogPSot, not blogSPot. And it takes you to a religious site. So what this tells me is, some religious type, with waaaay too much time on his hands, stumbled upon the Palace, and then decided that they'd get the domain for the Palace, and change two letters so that someone might go there instead of reaching the Palace, and they might read the stuff there, have an epiphany and lo and behold, they'd see the light from heaven and hear the choir of cherubs and be born again and sin no more! HALLELUAH!!!!!!! Give him praise and glor-AH!

Puh-leeze.

I heard of things like this happening, like someone getting thewhitehouse.com and making in an anti-Bush site, when the real one is thewhitehouse.gov or what have you. But that's hte White House, not some rinky dink little thing like Polt's Palace. It would seem that I would be beneath anyoen's notice. Some people just have more time and more money than they do brains.

But then again, if they're wasting thier time doing this, then they're not out gay bashing someone's head in for Christ. So that's a good thing.

POLT = listening to "Higher Ground" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers

Gay men in thier twenties and thirties often retain the escapist energy and maturity level of straight teens whose parents are out of town. - Patrick Price

Had a bad hair day, had a bad hair day...

Pop quiz #42: Which of the following captions belongs below this photo?



a) "Check out my white boy afro, yo!"
b) This is why we should not stick our fingers into electric sockets.
c) "I'm auditioning for the part of Mufasa in The Lion King, but I'll have my OWN mane!"
d) "Huh? What do you mean what's wrong with my hair?"
e) "Mom, don't put the starch next to the shampoo anymore, okay?"

POLT = listening to "Everybody's Changing" by Keane

Ever feel like you're roadkill on the highway of life?

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS






















POLT = listening to "Twist And Shout" by The Beatles

Discrimination is just a lack of familiarity. - Patrick Price

Girls just wanna have fun...

What's mose important in my life?

Fun is most important in your life. Having a high focus on fun indicates that you value your own enjoyment over anything else. And there is nothing wrong with that. Your motto is we're here for a good time - not a long time. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Okay, that's cool! And FUN!

POLT = listening to "Weapon Of Choice" by Fatboy Slim

Consider carefully the wisdom of purchasing hygiene related, potentially life saving products in the restrooms of truck stops and bowling alleys.

But I believe, I'm a walking contradiction...

Your walk is:
All About the Disco Arms




Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Well, what ELSE would my walk be all about???? Heheheh....

POLT = listening to "Abide With Me" from the 28 Days Later soundtrack

Blushing is the color of virtue. - Diogenes

In the hands of fools, confusion will be my epitaph...

This is my epitaph.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

And this is the random result! Bwahahahahaha.....I love it! For I AM a Trekkie! Whoo-hoo!

POLT = listening top "Who Are You?" by The Who

The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they more. - Aristippus

You cannot define this, there is nothing like it...

One day earlier this week, I had some free time at work, so I took a couple quizzes. I am extremely tired from last night, and from today, with very little sleep. So I'm post these quizzes I took, and then go to bed. I'll post more interesting stuff later this week.

Hmm, no one is surprised by this, I assume?

POLT -- [noun]: A master blogger 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

POLT = listening to "Time Warp" from the Rocky Horror Soundtrack

YOu know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. - Calvin & Hobbes

I'm looking for an explanation....

Got this from The Inside Dope. I don't know if he wrote it himself or got it from somewhere else, but it's the best explanation I've heard yet for the situation we're in.

They've jumped the shark.

Can there be ANY doubt, if there ever was, that Fox News is not only slanted and biased and unfair and unbalanced, but is an out and out propaganda arm of the Bush administration? We've been pushed through Alice's looking glass. Nothing is real, up is down, black is white. Our government is arguing that torture is ok, that science should be ignored, that we should be very, very, VERY afraid, except if it involves a multi-billion dollar business proposition with the Bush family's long time associates, the sheiks and sultans of the Arabian Gulf.

They howled, "What about the children??!!" when on their jihad against Bill Clinton, suggesting that it would lead to the destruction of the entire nation's mortal soul. Bill Clinton, they argued, was the moral equivalent of a child molester, and he was corrupting your children and destroying the morals of an entire nation.

Yet now, with God boy in the White House and millions of rubes running around professing that the reason they support him is that he's "a good God-fearing man", what was once instinctively condemned as obviously immoral, wrong, unhealthy, un-American, and anti-democratic is not only being done with arrogance and impunity, but being defended and argued for. Fine young American kids, and a lot of Americans in their thirties and forties, not to mention hundreds of thousands of innocents, have been torn and ripped and damaged beyond repair or simply made to leave this life far before their time, their families damaged and shell-shocked and heart-sick and confused, all in service of lies, greed, corruption, the lust for power, and in order to swing some deals with the richest people on earth who happen to sit on nearly all the money and power in the world. It's nothing personal, you understand, just business.

This is as clear as the smirk on Bush's face, yet mostly due to fear constantly urged upon us by Bush in comic book terms, people are persuaded to agree that these evil, destructive, and dangerous things are OK... things changed on 9-11 they tell us, so this is all acceptable. We're going to spy on every aspect of your life without your knowledge, and we're not even going tell anyone, not even a judge. But it's OK. The president has that power because we're at war. A war that will last as long as anyone alive today survives and far beyond that, because it's a war against a tactic, a war which by definition can never be won.

It's gross manipulation and in your face disregard for any of the principles which the world has always believed made America truly something special. They couldn't care less. Just shut up, support them, and, above all, be very afraid.

What sort of leader encourages their people to always be afraid? Just consider that for a moment. Don't be brave. Don't sacrifice anything. Just be aware that there are blood-thirsty inhuman monsters all around that hate everything about you, hate your so-called freedom itself, which I suppose means that the best way to prevent them from killing us all is to give up our freedoms, which the Bush crowd is only too happy to take for themselves, since you're so afraid that you don't have the will to resist.

It's all a sick charade, with no rational way to justify it all. It simply makes no sense, and the entire country has been suffering from a severe case of cognitive dissonance ever since Bush was installed by an act that would be only the beginning of previously unthinkable perversions of the ideals and principles this nation has always held dear. And now, the Mid-East, the region which Bush, after his first dozen or so made up reasons for invading a sovereign country who posed absolutely no threat to our nation were all exposed as lies, told us we had sacrificed our blood, honor, and treasure far into the future in order to stabilize, is now teetering on the brink of utter chaos and the entire region threatens to go up in flames.

And how does our major media cover it? They argue that all out civil war is actually a good thing. A sign that Bush's strategy is succeeding.

The average right winger, are at their core, despite their macho bluster, the most scared, the most frightened of the stereotypes they've been fed, and the most ignorant of reality anywhere beyond their front yard, and they're not even too sure of that. These people have been digesting this sort of willful lying for decades on AM radio and elsewhere. They are used to agreeing with what they're told by drug addled blowhards, and other emotionally and intellectually twisted individuals who are being paid millions to lie to them. They really WANT to believe this. But the right have been so spectacularly successful at brainwashing these sheeple that they just keep getting more and more audacious.

These right wing sheeple, shaking in their boots and firmly convinced that Bush will keep them safe to continue their frightened existence, find themselves now trying to accept the idea that an all-out civil war in a country occupied by our troops isn't a disaster. It isn't an obvious sign that things are getting much worse. And it certainly doesn't suggest that the invasion and it's aftermath were, and is, all a collossally expensive, tragic mistake.

No, their faith need not be shaken. The growing number of sane, unafraid people who see what Bush is doing need not make these sheeple feel stupid. They now have their opinion and argument, spoon fed to them courtesy of right wing think tanks financed by right wing billionaires and a huge network of media. What every cell in their brain tells them is untrue and makes no sense, they now struggle to accept. And they do. And the more they do, the easier it gets. Until someone with a traditional sense of right and wrong now has lost sight of their moral compass altogether. They've gone too far down the Bush road now, it's impossible to turn back without comeing to grips with the horrid realization that they've been wrong all along.

So as more and more paid right wing hacks are deployed to spout this absolutely insane proposition, that failure is success, death is a good thing, a country descending into civil war and anihilation is actually proof of Bush's brilliance, the right winger can relax. Anyone who points out the obvious is just a left wing extremist and really wants the terroists to win.

You know, those immoral liberals.

But they don't realize that they're being lulled into accepting that lies aren't lies, needless death on a massive scale is justified, greed is the American way, cronyism isn't any worse now than it ever was, selfishness is a Christian virtue, and corruption isn't corrupt as long as those Godly Republicans are doing it.

Up is down, black is white, Bush is a great leader, and war is peace.

This country needs help.

POLT = listening to "Rock & Roll" by Led Zepplin

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is looking.

Put on hold, once again a bulldog baby...

A friend of Aggie's, Karen, had a baby girl, Abby two months ago. Karen also has two Jack Russell Terriers, and a loving husband that works a lot. So Karen is frequently craving adult human company. Ag suggested that I accompany her out for a visit tonight to Karen, which I did. WE took a pizza too.

When we got there, I took Abby almost right away. She was sleeping, as 2 month olds do, generally. But she was all cuddled up against my chest...I love babies. The dogs also were jumping around my heels, as dogs do. When time came to eat, we put Abby in a vibrating little chair thingee for her. Man, if only they made those for adults...niiiice. Anyway...

While we ate, I made friends with the dogs, Toby and Lucy, but giving them some of my pizza crusts...three times total, I think. I was thier buddy after that. Also, I played with them, throwing thier squeak toys and stuff, and Toby loves to chew on and fight over empty plastic soda bottles, so I fought with him over one of those. A lot of rough housing and playing hard was going on...something that Karen can't really do anymore because of Abby. I made an friend in Toby because of that too, I think.

When we finished eating, I took Abby again, and walked her over the house, slowly boucing her, and rubbing her back, and humming Madonna tunes to her to keep her soothed. This allowed Ag and Karen to have adult conversation (God knows I'm no good at that). Abby was fed, and I walked her around some more, and while we did, Toby was following me around the house like my shadow. Abby got a bit fussy, so she was given her pacifier (called a 'nook' at this household), and that quieted her down, for some sleep.

I took her into the living roomand she slept on my cushion-like tummy and chest. Ag sat at the other end of the couch, and both dogs worked their way ontot he couh between us, sometimes under the blanket there, sometimes on it, sometimes on the back of the couch, sometimes sitting on one or the other of us as well. After a bit, Abby became fussy again, so Karen fed her, and she slept in Karen's arm while we all watched some more TV. A bit b4 900, three hours after we got there, it was time to leave. And we did.

had a BLAST, I did. I love babies! (well except for changing diapers. If I gotta change diapers, that's a deal-breaker right there) I love dogs. I love Karen, she's funny with a pleasant dry sense of humor. Ag and I said we'd baby/dog sit again, so Karen can get some 8 hours of peaceful restful sleep on day. (although Ag's doing all the diapers. nope no way am I doing them. I don't like wiping my own ass much less someone else's).

Natually I got some photos:
This one is me and Abby...pretty sweet and cute, huh? And the baby's nice too. (just kiddin!)

This is Toby and Lucy, waiting for the ball to be thrown to them.

This is Karen, our lovely, if slighty over worked, hostess. She's throwing a toy to the dogs.



This is Ag and Abby, at the dinner table.


And this is the "full house": Uncle Polt, with Abby sleeping on him, Lucy and Tobey watching the flash, and Aggie.

Fun times had by all!

POLT = listening to "La Vie Boheme" from the Rent Soundtrack

When I'm down on my knees, I ain't praying! - Faye Dunaway, Doc

On Election Day, we'll see who's banned in the U.S.A....

S.D. House Approves Abortion Ban Bill
PIERRE, S.D. - The Legislature on Friday approved a ban on nearly all abortions in South Dakota, setting up a direct legal assault on Roe v. Wade. Republican Gov. Mike Rounds said he was inclined to sign the bill, which would make it a crime for doctors to perform an abortion unless it was necessary to save the woman's life. The measure would make no exception in cases of rape or incest.

Gee THAT didn't take long. Alito's ass has barely hit his seat and already there's a case primed and ready to go. Man, the religious right is salivating oceans over this travesty. I said it before when Rehnquist died after O'Conner had already announced her retirement: within 5 years, Roe v Wade will be gone.

How unfortunate for the citizens of the US and of South Dakota especially. So now, when daddy plays with his 15 year old daughter in Sioux Falls, she'll be forced to bear the child. And when that college student is on her way to the dorms from a night class in Pierre and is yanked into the bushes and gang raped by 6 or 7 freaks, OH WELL! She'll have a constant reminder growing inside her of the attack.

What horrible place is this country becoming?

POLT = listening to "My Own Private Idaho" by the B-52's

Well remember boys, this is America. Just because you get more votes doesn't mean you'll win. - Maulder, The X-Files

Clay crumbled in my hands, when I came apart...

Just found about this today, although the story is apparently a month or so old:

As long as American Idol's Clay Aiken has been a household name, there have been rumors that he's gay. The poor kid even defended his sexuality during a Primetime Live interview with Diane Sawyer in 2003, saying, "I have some very effeminate qualities."

Um, yeah.

Anyway, a former Army Ranger has come forward with his claim that he had a gay sex romp with the Idol superstar earlier this month. Clay's alleged lover was sweet enough to share all the private details with the National Enquirer for a pretty penny. Like what? Well, for one, they had unsafe sex. The slimeball also saved copies of Clay's instant messages (his handle? "valleyprettyboy") as well as a washcloth with Clay's DNA.

You can read more of the story here. So Clay meets some guy online, goes to meet him, has sex with him (and Army Ranger, who can blame him?) and the guy then saves all the emails and IM's and even Clay's cumrag in a ziplock bag.

How sad.

But if Clay had just come out from the beginning (like the very first winner of the British Idol show, I forget his name), then would this be a story? All the more reason to not be closeted.

BUt I also wonder, if our society wasn't so homophobic, would he have felt the need to be closeted. After all, I also read that several fans of his, nine i think, have filed suit against his record label, saying the label was deceptive in concealing CLay's sexuality, and they bought his album under false pretences. Aside from being pathetically letigious and homophobic, are they blind and deaf as well? how can anyone NOT know the guy was gay. I mean come on! Would it have helped if he had "QueerBoy" tattooed across his forehead?

Just a sad tale all around.

POLT = listening to "Bend And Break" by Keane

The truth is, I'm neither poor nor innocent. - Tippi Hendren, The Birds

A kiss is still a kiss...

Frenching Fridays

POLT = listening to "Exit Music" by Radiohead

Think about what you'd like to remember when you're old, it may help you decide what to do tomorrow.

It's nothing but a dirty rotten shame...

But the shopping night had it's upsides too. Not only did we eat out, and have a fun time together, but I bought some stuff for me too. (kinda like, "clock for them, DVD for me. Tea kettle or them, CD for me" it makes the shopping for them SO much easier).

I got this movie: A Dirty Shame . I saw in in a theater in DC in 2004 with my friends Mark and Charles. And we all three laughed our asses off. It's a John Waters film, and his films ARE an aquired taste. But I've aquired the taste! So I loved it, even though it is rather crude...or perhaps BECAUSE it's rather crude! And I got the NC-17 version, NOT the R-rated one, so it'll be even MORE crude! Even more JohnWatersTastic!

Also, I picked up the most recent Nine Inch Nails CD. Wasnt planning on getting it until I heard that the new song, Only is done by NIN. ANd then I HAD to pick it up. That one song reminds e so much of his earlier songs. I love it.

So even though I hate Wedding shopping, I LOVE shopping for myself. It all balances out in the end.

POLT = listening to "Heroes" by David Bowie

There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive indiots. - Mac Anderson

It's a nice day for a white wedding...

I hate shopping for wedding gifts. I hate using a registry. And I hate it when I'm wandering around the store, with a friend, and NEITHER of us can find what we want!!! And what we DO find is on shelves like 15-20 feet in the air!!! Or the stuff we CAN find is like $150 bucks! When we're, together, planning on spending $100. So we end up getting stupid crap like the stainless steel salt and pepper shakers. They were easy to find, there were lots of them still on the shelf. No that's not all we bought, we got $100 dollars worth (or $99.72 with tax, actually), but I still hate shopping for wedding gifts!

POLT = listening to "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd

A song and a snack can turn any moment into an occasion! - Emmett, Queer As Folk

Random Mapquest Location...

Today we visit the midwest:























Welcome to 917 West Grant Ave., Ulysses Kansas.

POLT = listening to "Just" by Radiohead

Seems like a waste of good lap dance money. - Leo, Monarchy #6

Reunion, together this time, reunion, forever be mine...

So, Just finished watching the Project Runway reunion. And now, after the show, before the Finale, what do I have to say about the designers?

The two that got kicked out of the first episode (I don't even remember their names): the chick is the stereotypical redneck blonde white trash from the South. (didn't know what Auf Veideisen meant, seemed at a loss over Reymundo and his origins) The guy, well congrats on losing hte weight, he looks much better.

The chick that got kicked out of the second episode (don't remember her name either): I think she looks statuesque and attractive in a weird sort of way. But for her and the first two, we didn't get to know much about them on the show, and even less on the reunion special.

Reymundo: I still think he's cute, although someone really ought to introduce him to a good orthodontist.

Daniel Franco: Waaaay too trippy. Loved that he confronted Santino during the lingerie episode on the runway. And he took responsiblity for the errors of his team and SHOULD have stayed longer. That's the episode Santino should have gone down. Would be nice to see him on Season 3. :)

Guadalupe: Courney Love is not a good role model. Showing up high on TV is not a way to further your fashion career. Jeez, she's probably STILL prattering on answering Tim's question even now!

Diana: far be it from me to agree with Santino, but she does have a very whiney voice. Very timid. Reminds me a deer caught int he headlights or something.

Marla: I felt bad for Marla. She seemed like a genuinely nice and pleasant lady. But she was clearly out of her league. Still, she does own her own business, which is something I dont' think any of the other ones do. You go, Marla.

Emmett: I never really cared about him. he seemed to always be on a constant Prozac drip: no emotion.

Zulema: Still a bitch. nuff said.

Andrae: Still likable. Someone needs to find "Where the HELL is my chiffon!" as a wav file somewhere and send it to me! I wanna put it on my computer, my ringtone, my iPod, etc, etc, etc.

Nick: I wanted to hear more about the falling out between him and Santino. He shoul still be there, in the final three. And Santino should be off practicing his impressions somewhere else.

Kara: Didn't focus too much on her. Which was fine with me. Over her!

the final three:
Daniel V: still my favorite.
Chloe: liking her too.
Santino: he must be fucking one or more of the producers, as this reunion show could almost have been called The Santino Show! Waaayy too much coverage. i guess if you're an ass, they give you a lot of camera time. he needs to choke on a sequin, crawl under a rock and die.

So nothing left, right, but the two part finale! Whoo-Hoo!

POLT = listening to "Porcelian" by Moby

The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything. - Joseph Stalin

50-50, I might just have something to say...

I was kinda disappointed when I saw this:



Plain white boxers. you'd think Fi'ty would be all pimped out in undies more appropriate for a thug of his caliber. Seeing him in these kinda ruins his street cred somewhat, dontcha think?

POLT = listening to "Am I Wrong" by Love, Spit, Love

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and the odds against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb. - Benny Hill

Give it to me strait, before I come unwound...

I found something online called the Interactive Johari...something or other. Anyway, it's supposed to tell me what I think of myself and what others think of me and how the two compare....or SOMETHING like that!

SO, if you know me (personally preferably) or even THINK you know me, click on the following link: http://kevan.org/johari?name=Uncle+Polt And do what it says. ( I have no idea what it says as I've not gone there myself). Also, there's also one for negative traits, and it's located here: http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Uncle+Polt. Be truthful on both, I'll not know who said what. ANd the more responses I get, the more accurate it will be.

Thanks,

POLT = listening to "Money" by Pink Floyd

Neighbors vicious dogs can sometimes be handled by marinating Frisbees in Valium

Different Germany, afraid to know you now...

Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie

Ahhh, another testisticular tuesday. Time for a little bit of straightness for this oh-so-crooked blog. So Sunday I was sitting around bored as hell trying to think of something to do. Finally I decided I was going to try out a new bar a friend recommended. I called up my good ex M and invited her to come along. This place was freakin awesome. It's called Ludwig's Garten: http://www.ludwigsgarten.com/. I had heard it was the best German bar in Philly and I wasn't disappointed. They had over a dozen imported drafts, nice solid wooden tables, and waitresses dressed in very lovely German attire. The food was just like that back in Southern PA, which means it was German and fucking sucks, but I saw they served rabbit and pheasant, so I'm going back to have that. Best yet were the prices. From 10-12 they had drafts for $2.95! I was in heaven. I drank so much I didn't even mind watching the Olympics! Ok, I did mind, since it was ice dancing. But I didn't mind quite so much. This place really got my blood pumping. It was like it brought my German heritage out for a bar brawl. Real testicular stuff. I felt like beating up a Polish guy and invading France. The down side: no hot chicks other than the waitresses. I guess that's the problem with really manly bars, women don't want to be there. Next time I'll have to try to bring some along so they can witness some good drunken machismo and tell me what an ass I was being. There's no point in being a drunken ass if no one is there to remember it for you. Speaking of which, I know I talked to a female friend of mine afterwards, but I didn't remember the conversation at all. That's why I must ask a favor of all readers out there in the internet world. If you got a call from a drunken me after midnight on Sunday, please let me know. I don't think I called anyone, but I didn't think that on my birthday either and we all know how that one turned out (see previous post). Have a nice testicular tuesday everyone!

POLT = listening to "Kashmir" by Led Zepplin

Love, love, love! Doesn't anyone fuck anymore? - T-shirt

Just like the movies, we play out our last scene...

Today, two movies came out on DVD that I wanted so over lunch break, on the way to Arby's, I stopped by Circuit City and got them.

Firstly, there is RENT . As soon as I saw the play for the first time in Toronto way back in 1998, I KNEW that should this ever made into a movie, I'd get it on DVD the DAY it came out! And thusly I did. It was regular $19.99, on sale for $14.99. And for two DVD's it was WELL worth the price.

Secondly, there was The Ultimate Avengers. I'm a comic book freak, and even though I prefer Marvel to DC Comics and hate the Ultimate universe that Marvel created, I love the Ultimate Avengers comic. (It doesn't HAVE to make sense, okay? It's all part of the Polt Chaos. Ask Phoenix about it sometime, he'll explain the Polt Chaos!) So when I saw this was coming out I wanted to get it too. SOme reviews I read are pretty hostile towards it, saying it's really bad. And it may be. But it was only $12.99, so what am i out really?

POLT = listening to "Crazy" by Alanis Morisette

Kids these days. Can't tell the difference between just plain old and classic. - Flash, DK2

Woodman, woodman, spare that tree...

One of the Palace's visitors (I'm sorry, I forget which one) recommended I watch TheWoodsman. I got it from Netflix and watched it last night.



Wow, what a film. no, not a lot of action, frankly, not too much speaking either. But Kevin Bacon's performance is outstanding. He conveys such emotion with his expressions and eyes and yet says very little.

The film is about disturbing subject matter (and knowing Uncle Polt like you do, THAT'S really saying something), but I'd recommend it jsut for Bacon's performance. The scene of him and Robin on the bench, it had me crying. It's a powerful perfomance, it truly is. But I know the subject matter will turn alot of people off. It's not glorifying or promoting anything though. Be warned, definately adult themes.

POLT = listening to "What's the Matter Here?" by 10,000 Maniacs

It's been five days since you tackled me, I still have the rugburns on both my knees. - Barenaked Ladies

Tonight I'm cleaning out my closet...

Last night Aggie and I made an agreement: if I took her out to breakfast this morning, she would help me clean my kitchen. (She's seen my kitchen, she knew what condition it was in, I don't know WHAT she was thinking, but I've learned never to look a gift from a faghag in the mouth...or something like that...)

So this morning, somehow I drug my fat ass outta bed at 830 and we left at the designated time, 900. We ate at the Breakfast buffet at Mountain Gate. Was good food: pancakes, scrambled eggs, fried potoates, waffles, french toast, all kinds of sauces, toast, fruit, milk, juices, donuts, sausage and bacon and a bunch of other stuff I KNOW I'm forgetting. At any rate, we left and I still wasn't awake, Ag even commented on it.

But on our way to the Dollar Store (to get supplies, God know I don't have any cleaning supplies in my apartment. And if I did, well, I'm certain they either expired or evaporated a LONG time ago), we drove past a farm, and for some reason, that made me think of Green Acres. So naturally, i had to sing the song, acting it out as best I could in the passenger seat of her as well. As she said, "Hmm, I guess the sugar from the syrup kicked in!" And indeed it had! SInging Green Acres, Golddigga, and My Lumps, became order of the day.

So we got what we needed and returned home. And then came the mopping of the floor. Which Ag did, cause obviously I'm incapable of doing it myself. Well, I did sweep up the floor beforehand, so that was my contribution. Oh, and the suggestion of mimosas while the cleaning was being done, that was mine too. This was probably at 1030 am or so. She told me she had to be to work at 300, and I reminded her that I was talking about MIMOSAS! Champagne AND orange juice! She thought about it a second and said, "Eh, it'll help take the edge off this mess."

So I poured us each a mimosa, and we toasted...to what I'm not sure any more, but I got a photo of us toasting!



Then the cleaning commenced in full force, as you can see from the following photos. And it was not only the floor, but the sink as well.

She took time, while the floor was drying to take a photo of what I was doing while the cleaning commenced.



Hey, offering moral support and encouragment can be tiring. I had to sit down. And the mimosa kept me company. Who are you to judge? And I mean, come on, I DID have to walk to the basement to get her jug of Clorox to help clean the sink. (I had no Clorox. What possible need could I have for Clorox?) But when it was all done, she joined me on the couch in the living room watching the Dog Whisperer on TV. And we sipped our drinks and relaxed.

WHen she had to leave for work, I went to the kitchen, and did my dishes, yes all by myself. They had been there for....oh I don't know three weeks maybe. ( I RINSE them off before I put them there, there was NO mold or fungus growing, so don't even think it!) ANd then I came in here nad posted this for you...finishing my mimosa while doing so. (Yes, there was a lot to drink, take a look again and the size of the glass! They're supposed to be made in champagne flutes, But I figured there was pretty big edge Ag needed taken off, so there you go...)

And this was just the first room. I've still got more rooms to clean. And there's the laundry I put off to do this today...Oh, where WILL I find the time?

POLT = listening to "Laid" by James

If your plane was hijacked, who would you rather sit next to? Righteous reverends who will sit back and say, "This is God's punishment for gay teletbubbies!" or the gay rugby player who lays down his life to save others? - Scott Simon

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS





















POLT = listening to "Start The Commotion" by The Wiseguys

"I've met someone new." "NEW? We've only been together an hour and forty-five minuntes!" - Emmett, Queer As Folk

Pinball wizard, there has to be a twist...

My father (Papa Polt?) at the age of 66, has bought himself a pinball machine. A Simpsons pinball machine, circa 1990. He was all excited when he was telling me about it:

Papa Polt: It even talks to you. It says, 'Eat my underwear!"
Me: Dad, its 'Eat my shorts'. That's what Bart says.
Papa Polt: ..whatever...

I don't think he's even seen a full episode of the Simpsons. And yet he got a Simpsons pinball machine. For $3,000! *SIGH* I told him I wished he'd stop spending my inheritance. He told me he used to be pretty good at pinball when he was younger. I reminded him there was a lot of things he used to do when he was younger, but could no longer do.

But then i got to thinking about it. My dad worked in a factory all his life, for nearly 40 years in the stock room. he would come home, smelly, and grimy. It would be like a furnace there in the summer and I'm sure it wasn't all that warm in the cold winters. And it was, sticky, sweaty grueling work.

He was never much of an emotional man (in fact I think the first time I can recall him saying he loved me was when i was flying to Europe at age 16, and he was convinced the plane was gonna crash and he thought that was the last time he was gonna talk to me). But he was a good provider. We were never rich, but we always had a roof over our heads, food ont he table, clothes on our backs. We even took vacations most years to the beach in New Jersey. Eventually we got cable, and a microwave, and a computer and all the other stuff as well. he never gambled his check away, or spent in on booze, or sat around the bars with his buddies getting all drunk. he never struck me or mom (hehe, I think if he did, he would have gotten the short end of the stick, cause either of us probably could have kicked his ass).

So I suppose if, in his mid-life (or at 66, I guess he's past mid-life...) crisis, he wants to re-live his youth through a pinball machine, he's entitled.

Eat my underwear, indeed.

POLT = listening to "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000

I'm of a mind to make some moogie. - The Joker, Batman, the Movie

Vote for me, sign across the line...

A tidbit of knowledge for the Palace readers living in Pennsylvania:

Lynn Swann has not bothered to vote in 20 of the last 36 elections he's had the opportunity to vote in. He says he frequently was out of the state on election day due to his job of being a sports commentator. The man's never heard of an absentee ballot? College students routinely get them. Members of the military serving overseas frequently use them. My grandfather, in the last year of his life, when he was paralyzed from the waist down, his blood sugar all out of whack and losing his sight, he still cared enough to get an absentee ballot and get it cast. But yet, Swann was too busy to be bothered? Or care?

DO we really want a man for governor who doesn't care to vote in 55.55% of the elections he's elegible to vote in? Makes you wonder why someone so uninterested in voting would WANT to be governor in the first place. Maybe that sports commentor gig has gotten boring?

Just something for all of you to think about and remember on Election Day.

Ed Rendell, by the way, hasn't missed voting in an election since 1980.

POLT = listening to "Flower" by the Pansy Division (and who became eligible to vote in the Spring Primary of 1987 and has missed only ONE election, primary OR General in the last 19 years.)

I say, if you're knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. - Calvin & Hobbes

God bless the USA....

Is this really the image we want to project at the Olympics?



If we've got yahoos like this running around in Turin is it any wonder the world thinks we're a bunch of idiots? Well, these guys and our president, they both contribute to the idiot image, but you get what I'm saying...

POLT = listening to "Where Do I Begin?" by The Chemical Brothers

I've got some Scotch, aged eighteen years...just the way I like things. - Stifler's Mother, American Pie

I wish I was a radio song, I wish, I wish...

In case anyone would be looking for a gift for thier Uncle Polt (for no reason in particular, just cause I'm me), I've provided some help.

In the sidebar, right above Polt's Haunts is my Wishlist. Clicking on it will take you to my wishlist at Froogle. Feel free to purchase anything on there for me, or just to get an idea for something for me.

(I was bored at work one day recently, and looking for something to do, and making a Froogle wishlist seemed the thing to do...it passed some time anyway.)

POLT = listening to "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve

I'm afraid of Britney Spears and Christine Aguliera, The Backstreet Boys and NSync, I don't know what to think, now. - LiveOnRelease

Cause this party is political activity...

This should come as a surprise to absolutely no one.

You scored as Democrat. Democrat 92% Anarchism 75% Green 67% Socialist 67% Communism 50% Fascism 33% Nazi 0% Republican 0% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

POLT = listening to "Move Your Feet" by Junior Senior

He can't have it both ways. Hhe can't take the high horse and then claim the low road. - George W. Bush

A kiss is still a kiss....

Frenching Fridays

POLT = listening to "Bad Reputation" by Freedy Johnston

Gay men are so hot! It's tragic. - Go

So fast, and we just got here...

I decided to again see how peopel stumbled onto the Palace. Naturally, if you just type in the address, you'll come here, and I wasn't talking about those. But I was talking about the people that got here by searching Google or Yahoo or what have you. SO I wanted to see what they were looking for that led them here. And this is what I found:

Ben Agosto naked (got some Ben Agosto, but none naked)
Should call you whitefish (man, who the HELL would be searching for THIS?)
Shaun White Shirtless (yeah, I'd like to find some of those too)
Dawn Schaller (this is a girl I went to school with some 20 years ago. Haven't seen her in at least 10 years. And the REALLY weird part it, this came from someone based in Vancouver Canada!)
Tottyworld (okay, I have a link to that, I understand that request)
Sebastien Bonnet (got a photo of him, okay, i understand that one)
Apolo Ohno (seems those cute Olympian photos I posted cproved popular)
Johnny Weir shirtless (got a photo of him, none of them shirtless)
Gay scally boys (what's a scally boy?)
Johnny Weir shirtless (again?)
johnny weir shirtless (and AGAIN?)
David Franceschina (hmmm, wonder who was looking for HIM?)
gay scally boys (I still don't know what a scally boy is!)
shirtless (well, that's nice and general, eh?)

also, I had a few people arrive at the Palace by checking out my Yahoo and MySpace profiles first. I also had someone from BordersGroupINC checking it out...now why would a former employer bo hitting the Palace? Got hits from Israel, Portugal, Brazil, all over Europe and Tasmania! (bet the visitor is quite the devil!) Also, twice someone from M.I.T. visited here. Yes, THE Massachusetts Insitute Of Technology! One visit I would have figured to be a mistake, cause I have no idea what THAT place of higher learning and geniuses would WANT to visit the Palace, but the second visit indicates someone does.

And finally, i got a breakdown of the continents recent visits originated from. North America was 81%, naturally. Europe had 9%, Australia 2%, Asia 2% and unknown 6%. I've never been to the Unknown continent, could be a nice place to get away from it all.

POLT = listening to "Die Another Day" by Madonna

Ever feel like reality is weirder than dreams? - Jordan, Nowhere

If I was pregnant, I'd give birth to myself...

This evening after work I went to dinner with my friend Dawn. We worked together like 5 or 6 years ago and still try to keep in touch, but it's not easy. Something always comes up when we set a dinner date. Things like: it snowed, she was in a car accident, I was sick, her aunt died, I had to work over, she was sick, my car needed emergency work, etc, etc, etc. It usually takes up three to four tries before we actually get together.

Well anyway, we both made it Ruby Tuesdays this afternoon. The food was great (buffalo wings and salad bar...I figured the health content of the salad would balance out the non-health of the wings!), and the conversation great. Dawn is 5 1/2 months pregnant. Now mind you she's only like 5'4 or so and MIGHT weigh 100 lbs. After a buffet. Fully clothed. Wearing a parka. Soaking wet. With a concrete block tied to her ankle. Hold two bowling balls. you get the idea. SO at 5 1/2 months, she's obviously pregnant. but she's all excited about it.

We're in the middle of dinner and talking about the pregnancy, and she tells me she's been lucky, no morning sickness or such. And she says there's been a very positive side effect. i ask what it is. And she puts her hands under her tits and lifts them upwards and outwards and says, "My God, LOOK at these puppies!" Oh I almost died laughing. I had to spit out the hunk of lettuce I was gnawing on. Through my laughter she goes on to say, "I've never had big boobs before. Man, I don't know what to do with these. I gotta be careful i don't knock anyone over with them! And when I start breast feeding, they'll...get...even...BIGGER!!!!" I was laughing so hard I noticed a lady from another table glance over. Fuck her.

See you gotta understand, Dawn has always been kinda quiet, not very loud or boisterous or anything. And this was SO unlike her. that just made it all the more funnier. And she says, "I'm really enjoying them!" And I added, " I bet Jamie (her husband) is too!" Her eyes get big as saucers, she gets this evil grin on her face and says, "oh yeah! he's definately enjoying them too! not as much as I'd want, but enough!" And I had to laugh again.

This is why I love going out to eat with her. She always can make me laugh! I wonder, though, how much she'll be laughing in June, when contractions are hitting her? I told I wanted to be there to film it. And she told me no film. She says, "I don't want shots of my hoo-hoo preserved for all eternity!" Heheheheh, so unlike her. Gotta love it!

POLT = listening to "Sometimes" by Ours

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. - Ms. Weezer, Steel Magnolias

Soldier of fortune, terrorist of love...

I just want it to be made perfectly clear and known to all, the photo in the upper left corner is NOT meant to represent a Canadian terrorist.

Thank you. Carry on.

POLT = listening to "Redundent" by Green Day

Bush has a new campaign slogan. It's "Reformer with Results." Which I think is a big improvement over the old on: "A Dumb Guy With Connections." - David Letterman

Random Mapquest Location...

Today's Random Mapquest Location is 358 South 7th Street, St. Vincent MN!























Viking country, I'm sure!

POLT = listening to "What Do I Get?" by The Buzzcocks

Bad sex is like bad pizza: it's cold, lacks spice and it it's really bad, the crust is too thick.

Touched by the hot hands of bitter fools...

Testicular Tuesdays (on Thursday) With Johnnie

(with comments from Polt interspersed as necessary)
Welcome to the very special VD edition of Testicular Tuesdays. I know it's a little late, but fortunately I don't care. Originally I had an accidental date for VD (Un-huh, yep I KNEW it!). However, this was postponed until the next day, since my date was feeling under the weather. So, today I was supposed to take the lovely young lady out for a sushi dinner and some pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, the date was cancelled. That wouldn't have been a very big deal had she informed me that the date was cancelled. As it were, she didn't call me as she said she would and didn't pick up when I called her. So, barring a call telling me how she had to go to the emergency room and was in a 24 hr coma, etc, I'm going to stay bitter for the forseeable future(go ahead, you're entitled!). So in the course of about 4 weeks that makes 3 very poor endings with the indian freshman, the psychiatrist, and now dreadlocks girl (Here and forever after refered to as Delhi, Doctor, and Dreads, the Three Dopes!) . That's it, I'm done. No more females for me (Ah...come to the Dark Side, Johnnie...). If I decide to reproduce, I'm gonna clone myself. So what does all this have to do with balls? Very simple: the lesson of this VD is to love your genitals (as often as possible, I'd add) . They've been there for you through thick and thin when no one else was (I prefer thick, but I digress...) . They know just the way to make you happy. So this VD, take care of your testicles. (Good advice, John. Very good advice!)

POLT = listening to "Mouth" by Bush

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. - George Orwell, Animal Farm

The lights go down, letting the cable sleep...

I'll be there at the end of the road...

So, Kara got the "auf Weidesein" tonight, finally. Waaay overdue, if you ask me. I still don't like the arrogance of Santino, butcha KNEW he was gonna be there. Reality shows love drama, and who gave them more drama than Santino? At least Daniel won, and really, I did think his dress was the best.



So next week is the "reunion" show, and after that...what is there? Do they show the Olympia Fashion Week Stuff? Whatever they do, I'll be there...rooting Daniel on.

POLT = listening to "Hung Up" by Madonna

You're only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Viva Las Vegas!

I had this AWESOME idea the other day. I was talking to a female friend of mine, and I said, 'Hey, I think we outta go to Vegas for the weekend, like Friday through Monday! But on the condition that when we arrive, we get married and then right before we leave, we get divorced." I thought the idea was really cool! But she was not interested. (Well, kinda shocked, and surprised, and thought I was joking, and possbily somewhat repulsed and THEN not interested).

Prior to asking her, I mentioned it to a male friend of mine. he simply lowered his head slightly, closed his eyes, and shook his head slowly back and forth, as if I were some sort of sad pathetic madman.

I mentioned it today to another female friend of mine, and she TOO was shocked and surprised and did not think it was a good idea.

What is WRONG with you people??? it's an AWESOME FABulous idea! I mean, look:

1) I get an ex-wife, she gets and ex-husband? Doesn't that add another great...stitch in the fabric that is us? I can tell people, "Oh, I have an ex-wife. She was a wife for only three days, but still.." what a great way to get a conversation going!

2) It'll only be for the weekend, thus avoiding all those nasty things that occur during a breakup.

3) She could find a guy out there, I could find a guy out there, and we could have a raunchy, sex filled honeymoon...or whatever type of honeymoon she may desire, without having to worry about our spouses being there!

4) If it's good enough for Britney Spears, why isn't it good enough for us?

5) In modern day America, there ain't no way I'm ever gonna marry a man I love, so why not marry someone to have fun with. And only for a weekend?

6) what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right?

7) Think of the political statement it would make! Oh I can run off to Vegas and marry some chick I have no intention of staying married to, and that's all fine and legal and the far right, religious wingnuts would no issue with it, but yet, two men who have been together for over 20 years, like these guys Harley and Carl I know, and have been living together as a couple, can't get married. Now tell me, WHICH set of circumstances actually poses the greatere "THREAT" to marriage! Please!

8) We'd have something to put in our obituaries about having an ex-spouse!

9) we could easily get it annuled, cause the wedding sure ain't gonna be consummated!

10) it would just be FUN!

I must be missing something. Of the three peopllI have mentioned this to, no one has seen it as the great fun adventure I'm seeing it to be. *SIGH*

POLT = listening to "Rock Lobster" by the B-52's

You got anything on that remote lower than mute? - Brian, Family Guy

It's a little too late to hold my hand...

Got a call from Johnnie late last night, oh about 10:00 or so. he just wanted to tell me that his email was on the fritz, and that he wouldn't be able to get a Testicular Tuesday column to me that night, but would as soon as he could.

he also mentioned a date this evening with a chick..a chick with dreadlocks. Personally, i think he was all wrapped up thinking about and/or talking to Dreads, and forgot about the column. But since it's his story, he can tell it anyway he wants to.

At any rate, I'll post the next Testicular Tuesday as soon as I get it....even if it's on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.

POLT = listening to "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy

Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?

We're all dyin to just give it away...

Can anyone tell me why we're giving 7 Billion dollars in Federal Subsidies to Oil companies at the same time that oil companies are raking in record breaking profits? Exxon-Mobil last quarter made upwards of $135 billion dollars, in profits. Why do they need any money from the federal government? I mean, any other reason besides the fact two oil men are living in the White House.

POLT = listening to "I See You Baby" by Fatboy Slim

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em? - Calvin & Hobbes

Peace, homegirls, but I'm an Audi 5000...

Today, I had my 5000 th visits. Wow. Thanks to you all. I'm truly honored. I remember when I started this thing back in June and it took me WEEKS to get to my first 100 visits. At that point I thought I'd never see 500, much less 5000!

To all the repeat visitors, thanks for coming back guys. I'll try to keep putting things up here that interest you so you want to keep returning. If you have any changes or suggestions for improvement, or anything you want to see more of, let me know, I'll try to accommodate. (and NO, I will NOT do away with Monday's Hot Shirtless Guys, Testicular Tuesdays or Frenching Friday, so don't even think of suggesting it...and you KNOW who you are!)

POLT = listening to "Square Pegs" by The Waitresses

We're a milloin miles from earth in a giant white face...what's impossible? - Mission To Mars

It's all just a little bit of history repeating...

This evening, instead of showing a new episode of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, they're showing repeats of the three or four marriage episodes they showed just last month. They're doing because of today's 'holiday'.

Yet ANOTHER reason why I hate VD!

POLT = listening to "The Peter Gunn Theme" by Henry Mancini

Too many times, religion mothers crimes and wickedness. - Lucretius

Your face reminds me of a flower...

So, today, I got flowers. For Valentine's Day. Thankfully not roses or anything red, cause the person who sent them understands how I feel about VD. BUt they were PURPLE! WHoo-Hoo!







And they do look nice, and brighten the place up, and they smell so fragrant...I just love em!
But then, who doesn't love flowers? Even for VD?

POLT = listening to "Like A Virgin" by Madonna

They don't make hearses with luggage racks. - Don Henley

I've got you under my skin....

Today, I finished the book "Mysterious Skin". I had seen the movie last fall, and gotten the book for Christmas, and started it February 5, and 8 days later, I'm done with it. The movie follows it pretty accurately. There's more details int he book, as is usually the case. A few times during the last two chapters, I cried. Books rarely have that effect on me, this one did. The scenes involving the kids in the beginning of the movie and Neil's last trick in the movie were muhc more disturbing in the film than in the book. But I guess sometimes, some images are simply more powerful and 'real' than lines in a book. And this was the case here.



Still, a good read. I wish I wrote as well as Scott Heim does. I'd love to be a published writer. but the closest I'll probably ever get is the blog you're reading right now.

POLT = listening to "Love Will Tear Us Apart Again" by The Joy Division

That is why we dread children, even if we love them. They show us the state of our decay. - Biran Aldiss

Like the lies we write on Valentines....

I hate Valentine's Day. There, I've said it. And I feel good about saying it. I shall hereon refer to this day as Black Tuesday, or more generally VD!

I have never liked the day. Back in Junior and Senior High, we were able to purchase, prior to VD, flowers to be given, anonymously, to someone else in the school. They are red carnations if you LOVED someone, pink carnations if you LIKED someone, and white carnations if you were FRIENDS with someone. And then they were distributed on VD. One year I got a white one and then my senior year I got two white ones. That was it. While SOME people would have a veritible florist shop on thier desks! ANd others, they NEVER got ANY flowers. How do you think they felt? And back in elementary school, we made these little mailboxes where we could put those cheap little Dinsey type Valentines in the mailboxes of other people. I always got a few of those, and gave a few out. BUt then in 5th and 6th grades, I made sure i had a little valentine for everyone in my class and gave them each one. I don't know if I did this cause my mom suggested it, or I came up with it myself, but I remember I didn't like the way the kids looked who didn't get ANY valentines at all. Kinda like Charlie Brown in that special of his.

On two seperate occasions, I was dating someone over VD, and they both did very sweet little things for me, and I thanked them and it was nice, but it didn't change my opinion of this "holiday". VD, along with Mother's Day and Father's Day are what I call 'Forced Holidays'. They're 'holidays' when you are FORCED to tell someone you love them. If I love my mom, my dad and my partner, I'm gonna tell them that throughout the year, not just when Hallmark tells me to tell them.

That's why I refuse to acknowledge or celebrate VD!

Although....were someone looking to get me anything for VD, these guys would be a great idea!



They've got candy, gifts, song, and well, yeah, their own cute naked selves. I wouldn't turn these boys away, and I'd be HIGHLY appreciative of whomever sent them.

I'm just suggesting...

POLT = listening to "Mama Told Me Not To Come" by Three Dog Night

Some boys don't just come out of the closet, they explode! - Queer As Folk, British version

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS
























POLT = listening to "You Look So Fine" by Garbage

Remember the serpent is still living in the Garden of Eden - only the heterosexual couple were expelled. - Edward Carpenter

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

So the big snow storm we were supposed to get, turned out to be a dud. We might have gotten two inches, IF that. And it was all melting anyway by midmorning. The roads were clear and barely wet.

But then i checked the news. New York City got nearly 27 inches of snow. Columbia Maryland, a short hour from here, got 21 inches of snow, as well as Connecticut, New Jersey and Philly. MAN! Weird. We're not more than 5 hours away from New York, and less from Philly, and we got basically nothing. Just enough to cover the ground and coat the trees and make everything look pretty and wintery. no heavy shoveling at all. I love snow, but hate shoveling.

Good thing I don't live in a large coastal metropolis.

POLT = listening to "Ya Mama" by Fatboy Slim

Only we didn't cum, so it doesn't count! - Mike, Queer As Folk

I hear the whistle, the Godfather's call...

As many of you know, I call Mark My Fairy Godfather. He's slighty older than me, and was there for me when i first came out. he showewd me that a gay man can be "normal", i mean not a drama filled twink, or flaming drag queen, or tweaked out loser, or total closet case, etc, etc, etc. He took me to my first gay strip club. he took me first to my spiritual home, Toronto. He took me to my first gay beach, several times. He helped me come out, and grow comfortable in my skin.

And now, finally, I've found a picture of him that, while it may not be physically accurate, I think accurately reflects his inner self.



Or at least what I picture his inner self to be. hehehe...

Rock on, Mark!

POLT = listening to "Once In A Lifetime" by The Talking Heads

Not a vagrant hair of your beard, and yet you have the nether endowments of a man. - The Vampire Armand

I lose control, but tell me, what is wrong with that...

Pop Quiz

Question # 11: Study the picture below and then answer the question about it.



What is wrong with the guy in the picture?
a) His belt is undone, risking his pants falling down.
b) His cap is crooked, possibly hindering his vision.
c) There's an obtrusive yellow streak in the lower right corner.
d) He's over-dressed.
e) Absolutely NOTHING!

Answer:
Answer 'e' is acceptable, however, I feel 'd' is the best answer...and the problem needs to be corrected!

POLT = listening to "Animal" by Pearl Jam

My fucking arm! I want it back! - Nowhere

Purple haze, all in my brain...

Have I mentioned anywhere before that purple is my favorite color? It's quite versatile!



You have your purple mountains majesty!














Birds, like the martin, can be purple.












Your music can be purple, or Deep Purple, as the case may be.














If you're going to wear a posing strap (and if you looked like him, why on earth wouldn't you?) it can be purple.

















To help you have a "niught to remember", your lube can be purple.














You can your...date (?) can go to a prom in purple.














Even Mother Nature likes her purple lightning.















Your pen can be purple.















You can live in a purple house.















Peter Piper had some pickled peppers, but you can have some purple peppers.














The "It's All About Me"' pillow that a friend gets you, can be purple.















If you really wear a gay hat and have your picture taken to be posted on the Internet, well that too can be purple.
















Your phone can be purple.
















Your sister's hair can be purple.












Your plastic silverware can ALL be purple.

















I suppose these are to be maybe two members of the Lollipop Guild or something, who knows, but you and your friend can certainly amke yourselves up this way. WHY you want to, hey, that's none of my business.













Your cheap possbily gay, dimestore novelcan have a purple title.

















Your guitar can be covered in purple velvet.


















You can a purple rose.


















Your golf balls can be purple.














Your polo shirt can be purple.

















If you desire to own a firearm, I suppose it can be purple too.










If you'd like to give your Sims characters new undies, they can be purple.














Your Christmas tree can be all pimped out in purple.

















The wrestling singlet riding up your ass (and what an ass it is) can be purple.















You wouldn't go anywhere without your purple Doc Martens.
















You kid can have a purple sweater (although this brat obviously doesn't appreciate what he's got).

















You Hallmark date book can have a purple cover.



















Your practically non-existent thong underwear can be purple.


















Your baseball cap can be purple.













You briefs can be purple.


















Should you wish to show off your biceps while doing a split in tights, those tights can be purple.


















Bridges can be purple.






















If you've got a photo of a shirtless cute guy, you can tint it purple.

















The boots you wore during your Glam Rock Band days were certainly purple.















Your matchbox car can be purple.















Your bathroom decor can be purple.



















Your wedding cake can be purple.


















Purple balls, nuff said.













Your Christmas gifts can be wrapped in purple paper.











These are but a FEW of the reasons I love purple!

POLT = listening to "Twist And Shout" by The Beatles

Look kid we're not talking about sex here, this is pornography. - Sam, The Fluffer