It's time to be your 21.....

So, I suppose now that I've sufficiently recovered, I can now discuss the Christmas/21 st Birthday Party that was the engine of my drunken demise Saturday night. And with pictures, no less!

In fact, I think i may let the photos do the majority of the talking...or then again, maybe not...

This is Michelle, our hostess. And yes that is a stuffed penguin and porcelain pig with her. Don't ask, I don't even bother to ask anymore...hell, the woman supplies me with alcohol to drink and cute boys to look at, who am I to mention her...peculiar perclivities?

Now this would be Josey, the rather large dog that was with us all evening. Quite a sweetheart, she is. She and I bonded over shared potato chips with Ranch dip.
This would again be Michelle. She and I are taking photos of each other. Why? Didn't you read above, like I'm gonna question her...just bring on the alcohol and boys!
AAA Rims???? heheheh, oh, I saw that and took the express train straight to filth mountain! I scratched the number and email out, but I'll remember number. I mean, if I DO find a place that gives, er, um, I mean has AAA Rims, you think I'm gonna share??? This would be Jeremy, the birthday boy. Don't mind the red eyes, he's really quite sweet, and not the least bit Satanic or anything.

This would be Frank, Michelle's intended & our host and Auntie Ag, my designated driver for the night. Not to mention, the one who kept me from becoming "an obnoxious drunk", got me water when I stopped drinking, took several pictures for me when I was too far gone to do so, took the gun away from me even though I still wanted it (it was disabled or something,set up so that it couldn't shoot), got me the Ranch dip when I asked for it, and ensured I got in the house and upstairs. (after that, I was on my own)

This is Rusty, on the phone. I heart me some cute guys with shaved heads!

This is Rusty again, not as closeup, and with Frank.

This would be my buddy Rich. He's Michelle's brother, and just a great guy to converse with. I always have deep talks with him...when we're not both drunk off our asses and hanging onto each other while watching something totally unmemorable on TV. Oh, and that's Frank again, in front of him.

This is a really far away photo of Rich's other half Jamie. I used to work with her at Borders. i heart Jamie like a Republican hearts tax cuts for rich people! She's such a sweetie! This would be Rusty, Frank and Jeremy making a Frank sandwich...lucky bastard. How does one get to be a condiment on a sandwich like that?

This would once more be Michelle, although I don't know if 1) she's just heard something funny, 2) someone just intimately introduced her behind to the penguin's beak, or 3) the meds just kicked in. Who knows? This would be Jamie and Rusty, a better picture of both of them.

This would be Rich, Jeremy and Rusty...and why I wasn't invited to join, is somewhat upsetting to me. I mean, I could be at either end, or inbetween any two of them, I wouldn't be picky. hell, I'd be happy to be the penguin's beak to Rusty posterior, if necessary. Okay, here's all the boys: Jeremy, Frank (a boy in spirit), Rusty, some guy named Chris who I don't think I had ANY interaction with at all, Rich and Rich's friend Matthew. He's got the same pissed off stance and look in most of his photos, I don't understand. but more on him later.

Now a slight reorganization. But notice Matthew's...scowl. Come on, man, when you're that freaking HOT, do you really need to be that angry? This now, would be Unlce Polt, holding his mug. I have no idea what's in it. It could be 1) one of four glasses of wine in a box (yes IN A BOX! took me by surprise too, and I laughed about it all night, but it tasted fine. What's next though, Pudding On a Knife? Steak On Toothpicks? Eggs in a jar?), or 2) the results of one of four trips to the beer keg, OR 3) one of two shots of Wild Turkey. I believe they came later in the evening, natch. The only way I'd drink Wild Turkey is if I was already drunk.

This would be Rusty's ass, which was obstructed by WAY too much baggy clothing. All the boys wore too much clothing. I think Michelle outta put a dress code in effect: Every Male Under 30 Wears a Swimsuit (Speedo preferred, but not required). I'll take that up with her later .

This would be Matthew, again in the pissed off look mode. He has nice biceps, which are obscured here, and really cute eyes. I think this is right before I was drug into a discussion by Rich (who soon thereafter baled) between Rich and his father and Matthew. It seems Matthew has some sort of gun fetish, which i can kinda understand, but I prefer my weapons to be a little more meaty and a little less metal. But to each their own. Anyway, after the argument, I think Matthew and I were cool with each other. i hope so. matthew's a pretty cool dude. I'd hate for him to have a negative opinion of me for the things I said. (now the things I THOUGHT, well, honey, that's a whole nuther issue....but I digress....)

Alright, this is a little later in the evening when I was quite a bit drunker (obviously!). Thankfully I didn't keep this on for very long. And thank you so MUCH , Ag, for ensuring a picture was taken. This would be some chick Stephanie and Matthew, covering his eyes, which is bewildering to me, since they're so bewitching. ...oh, man, I have to stop, he's gonna punch me the next time he sees me....

Now I know this is later in the evening, cause I was way drunk...hell, I had passed drunk, I was into sloshed, when Dan showed up. Dan. Dan with the long hair. Dan. Freakin hottie Dan. I am SO pissed at myself for being so drunk as to be nearly incoherent. Not that I would have said anything to him, really, but I would have loved to have gazed at him from afar instead of just staringe at him from a chair in the corner. Oh yeah, and that's Jeremy too.

Dan and Jeremy again.

Remember me saying I was pissed at myself for being to drunk? no, FUCKING pissed at myself is more like it! Ag took this, as I was sprawled on the couch in another room when this took place....life is SO unfair! And I have to kind of wonder, how did this picture come about? Was it suggested, or just spontaneous?

Dan and Jeremy again...not quite sure why Dan's head is always at an angle...but I don't much care. It gives him that, "I just flipped my hair back over my shoulder while a cool breeze carresses me like a lover's hands" look. Or am I reading too much into it?

Yet another Frank sandwich. Dammit, I have to wonder why the straight guy gets in all the pictures with the hot guys around him! have I mentioned that life is unfair?

Matthew and Jamie. Is Matthew waving hello? Or to say No Pictures? Or ready for a high 5? Or on the way to covering his eyes? And I can only wonder, has Jamie sat on the penguin's beak?

now I managed to get this photo of Dan...but I'm not sure how. I know I took two, and deleted the first one cause it wasn't good enough. I thought I remembered him not wanting another photo taken, but he doesn't look pissed here, maybe he was just humoring the strange drunk guy...oh, well, who knows what the hell I was saying at this point...

This is the group of us making a toast to Jeremy...with shots...of Wild Turkey. Oh, I'm convinced that's what made me puke later...that stuff is ROUGH!

And so that's the party in pictures. I really did have an incredible time. The photos dont' even show the singing and dancing to Schoolhouse Rock and Rent, the aforementioned gun, the food that was spread out for us, or anything like that, but they all lent enjoyment to the evening. Can't wait for the next party...although, after this post, I may not be invited...

POLT = listening to "Wise Up" by The Waitresses

Stress is when you wake up screaming only to realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.