Friday, December 02, 2005

Take a little bit of extra time...

So, doing much TOO much surfing of the web at work has resulting in some eclectic things, a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. But here they all are:

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I scored a 84% on the "Do you like gay sex? (men)" Quizie! What about you?

Only 84%??? My God, how could I NOT have scored higher? I not only like gay sex, I love it, crave it, need it even...and yet I only got 84%. That sucks...more than I do.
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Maybe in case someone is looking for a Christmas gift for thier Uncle Polt, but is unsure what to get him, here is what MSN suggests, based on my horoscope:

Sagittarius:(November 22 - December 21)If you have enough cash in savings, or travel enough yourself to have accumulated frequent flyer miles to transfer, your Sagittarian will be prone to taking any trip, anytime and will enthusiastically thank you for it. [Yeah, travel, good choice] He or she may also appreciate paraphernalia that make their trips easier. If the above doesn't apply, bring the world to their home via a gift from an import store. Surely they have a favorite shop and a country they like best. [ Toronto, Canada! Getting a Mountie or dancer from Remingtons would be a top notch idea!] Or, you can always present a gift of fine wine and exotic cheeses, teas or coffees from around the world. [Um, how about some Asti, and an exotic Limburger cheese(German long hair blond), Jade Tea(small hairless Asian twink) or Just Dark (large, muscular black guy?] The Archer often forgets to take time to eat and will find such a gift hard to resist. [Okay, forget to eat...um, not this archer!]As an added bonus, such foodstuffs give them a reason to invite guests in, and they adore that. [Guests are indeed fun and cool, but i am NOT sharing Limburger, Jade OR dark with them!] The Sagittarius with a favorite sports team might enjoy tickets for two to a game. [The Dallas Cowboys, yes. Tickets to a game, good; in Dallas, better; in the locker room, best of all] For clothing, buy a big comfy sweater. [Or an big comfy athelete that's sweating, yeah that would work too.] Even if you don't buy the actual present there, pick up the wrapping paper, card and a little extra something that reminds you of them (don't forget to tell them why it does just that) in the import store. [Mystery, that work too, espeically if solving the mystery involves Limburger, Jade or Dark at all!]

Just some helpful hints!
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This is from Artificial Turkey : Personally, I think Bush's decision making abilities are only slightly better (and might actually be worse) than that of my family's old dog Taco. Taco used to think cars were no match for a determined golden retriever and would give tires a loud "barking to" whenever a car would back up. Needless to say, Taco died tragically as my family was leaving in our car to go to (ironically) church one Sunday morning. Like Bush, Taco did not like to admit defeat and continued to keep bouncing around and barking at the tires even after getting hit. I can see that little canine brain working now, "Must stay the course! Cowards cut and run. Retrievers do not."

Bushie and a Golden Retriver...the similarities are striking. Not that I really mean to insult Montana like that Johnnie. Give him my apologies.
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I took a quiz today to find out my personality type. This was the result:

I'm a generally unfuckwitted, liberal, tight as fuck, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Hmmm, I'm not sure if I'm offended at the tone of the response, surpised at it's accuracy, upset at it's accuracy, or all of the above. IF any of you take this, let me know how compatable you are with me, if you are at all.

POLT = listening to "Jaded"by The Crystal Method

You can float small change on the surface of real Guiness stout. Patrons regularly get Guiness stuck between their teeth. Seabirds often tragically get caught in Guiness slicks and have to be rescued by conservationist. - Will Ferguson

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