Friday, July 07, 2006

And the captain crackles...

NOTE: Spelling corrections have been made to this post. geez, i was typing it so fast, I wasn't paying attention to how badly i was typing it.

I was doing some thinking on the way home from work today, and I came to a conclusion. I'll give you my thoughts first.

1) Star Trek Generations (the 1st movie with The Next Generation Crew): The ship has seperated, the saucer section is in trouble and going down. Riker's in command, Troi is by his side. An explosion knocks the guy at conn out of his chair. There are other people behind Riker and elsewhere on the bridge, yet he utters what is perhaps the stupidest line ever in Star Trek, "Deanna, take the helm!" Oh yeah, the ship is going down, there are other qualified personnel there, but who do you order to drive your ship? The Ship's Counsleor. And what happens? The ship, with Deanna at the helm, crashes onto the planet, effectively totaling it.

2) In the last and possibly WORST Star Trek movie, the ship is attacked by the Romulan ship and both are nearly incapacitated. Picard is in charge at this point, and apparently he didn't get Riker's report, cause somehow he allows Troi to get back to the conn. He gives her an order to ram the other ship, and she does, plowing them into one another and locking them together...effectively totaling it.

3) Captain Kathryn Janeway is given command of the Starship Voyager to track down Maquis in the Badlands. What happens? She gets them thrown through a wormhole, ending up 70 some light years from home or so...and effectively lost.

4) Star Trek: The Voyage Home (I think this was the 4th movie, the one with the whales). We see a black female captain in charge of a starship attempt to stop the probe coming to earth. The result, her ship is powerless and drifting in space.

5) Star Trek The Next Generation: episode "Yesterday's Enterprise" where there is a change in the timeline and Tasha Yar is not longer dead. We see the Ambassador class Enterprise-C, captained by a female captain who not only gets her ship lost in time, thus changing history, but gets killed before her ship can return.

6) Star Trek The Next Generation: episode "Conspiracy", where we see the youngest person to ever make captain, Tryla Scott of the Renegade. She's young, attractive, and, unfortunately, under the control of the those worm thingees that were gonna take over the Federation.

My conclusion: Never put a chick in charge of your starship, cause if you do, she's gonna get it destroyed, damanged, lost, killed, or use it to try to take over your whole organization.

POLT = listening to "Out Of The Races And Onto The Tracks" by The Rapture

When you're pretty, it doesn't matter how you wear your hair. - Frances Fays

9 comments:

Mags said...

Hey now!

Anonymous said...

"effectively totally it"?? (twice??)

"totally it" = fabulous, the "in" thing, awesome, groovy (70's), swell (60's), etc.

how is that females crashing the ship is fabulous??

je ne comprend,
Fairy Godfather

(word verification = "dpnoildu"??)

Anonymous said...

Gee your palace looks a lot like Mad Ludwig's Kastle in Germany. Do you get lost in there? I enjoyed the old Star Trek TV series better than any of the movies but then I am old enough to have seen them the first time they were shown.

JP said...

I'm kinda shocked that they never said "what the hell" and give Ahura (sp?) the helm every once in while. But let's imagine if they had...She would slam some Sly & the Family Stone in the 8-track and have that whole ship a'groovin through space...so-much-so that the entire crew was preoccupied with doing the galactic slide that they crashed into a planet effectivly totalling it...See? Even in the realm of imagination it never works.

Anonymous said...

I think it is spelled Uhara. Any...Way...Bones...I think...I need...acting...Lessons...:Captain James T. Kirk. I loved that campy show. The Bridge looked like the lobby of a cheap 1960's motel. Every time they explored a new planet the new guy would get killed. So predictably funny.

Anonymous said...

We all know chicks can't drive, jeeze.

Onanite

Polt said...

Inner Hell: Yeah? cool.

Mags: Yeah, well, I don't see you making any counter arguements. :)

Mark: Spelling changes made, you living Spellcheck you.

Ed: no I dont get lost in there. I'll post about the Palace photo later

JP: hehehehe, brillant, my friend. Brillant.

Ed: it's spelled UHURA (God, I must the THE geekiest geek amongst all the geeks)

Onanite: hehehe, well I was trying to NOT be so blunt about it.

Anonymous said...

Your not a true geek unless you know that the middle girl on the Brady bunch is named Jane....What is that you say? Jan? O.K. maybe we are geeks but remember so is Bill Gates the richest man in the world.

Anonymous said...

Well, I think the more interesting thing here is that all the writers were men. Probably straight men who had problems with their wives and/or girlfriends at the time.
It's conceivable that if the writer were a gay man he'd not only have Troi actually do something interesting and less destructive, but do something about that awful hair and her penchant for stupidity. Oh, and Riker wouldn't have existed.
To paraphrase Jessica Rabbit, "they're not awful, they're just drawn that way."
Gay men wouldn't shun them, they'd present them as more interesting fully fleshed characters. I don't trust Star Trek to present a believable woman any more than I'd trust them to present gay people (which they haven't).