Fucked with your pants on...

I am so fucking FURIOUS right now I can barely type this! Where I work, they had submitted a new pay scale, with my department included in those to get pay raises. I was going to get about a $7000 a year raise. Today, we got the notice that they approved the raise...but they removed my department from the scale. SO I get just the 4.5% that everyone is getting.

What this means is that, after working there 10 years and with a college degree, I will be making only $300 a year more than some yum-yum with a high school diploma who walks in off the street into one of the other departments!

It would have been better to never have included my department in the projections to begin with, then I wouldn't have expected anything. I am trying to be happy for my co-workers who got the raises. And I am still getting the 4.5% increase...which is significantly lower then the roughly 20% it would have been under the other scale.

I thought just FUCK IT! I'm not doing much of anything now. But....that's the wrong tact to take. It's not the fault of my co-workers, or even my bosses that this happened, and yet, they are the ones who would be hurt if I acted like an ass over this.

I got the news about 1100. I had a meeting at noon, which I went to. But went it was over at 1230, I put in a slip, sent a notification email, and left. I had already planned to take tomorrow off, and i figured, I really do NOT want to be there today, so I took it off. Fuck em. BUt what that means is, I'll be gone form there this afternoon, and all day tomorrow. And hopefully by then, I'll have calmed down a bit and be a little less pissed.

On the upside, I did have two co-workers from the other departments stop by my office seperately, and tell me they were sorry, and how wrong it is. SO it means at least someone recognized what we do. And that was only in the span of an hour. I sure more people would have expressed similar sentiments. But I just could NOT stay there.

I really just want to fuck someone! I want to have hot, hard, fast, raw, raunchy, sweaty sex with someone else, to work out all the emotion I'm feeling now. But this is the wrong reason to have sex, and I doubt i'd be terribly selective in my choice of partners (not that I am much normally anyway, but throw me a bone here, so to speak, and dont point that out), and so God only knows what I'd end up with...and then I'd hate myself afterwards. I just want to fuck something...or punch something...hopefully not at the same time.........

I'll get something to drink here before long, maybe a nice mixed drink, with a little umbrella, or a pretty neon color to it, or a bottle of Asti, who the hell knows...maybe take a walk to work out all the energy I'm feeling. listen to some soothing music. And call understanding friends to commiserate. And then tomorrow I'll go have a fun relaxing day away from work, and be better on Friday...or so I hope anyway.

POLT = listening to "Rape Me" by Nirvana (how's THAT for irony)

You can't cruise all night on an empty stomach. - Debbie, Queer As Folk