Heart of the party, chili palmer...

This weekend, Katherine Palmer died. To most, if not all of you, that means nothing. She wasn't famous, or rich, or well known, but she's been in my life as long as I can remember.

When my mom graduated high school in 1961, she went to beauty school. But when she married my dad in 63, she quit. Nonetheless, about 10 years later, when times were tough for them, she'd do some hair work on the side: giving permanents, haircuts, maybe some home hair coloring, what have you. It was all under the table money, and just for a small group of people. Katherine Palmer was one of these people.

She was old when I first remembered her. She was probably in her mid to late 60's during my first recollections. Mom had this pink hairdryer shaped like a beehive hairdo that she'd sit the ladies under to dry thier hair. When she' d put Mrs. Palmer under it, I'd climb up into her lap as a lad of 5 or 6 or so, and she'd read to me. Might be the newspaper, might be a Dr. Suess book I brought along with me, might be some book or magazine she brought with her. The subject matter was irrelevant, I just liked being read to. And she did.

And something else that I always liked about her, she never talked down to me. When adults talk to kids, there's usually some level of condescension in it. But never Mrs. Palmer, she always spoke to me like I was an adult friend of hers, not some kid young enough to be her grandson.

As time went on, she was a constant in our house, about every other week, she'd be by for the permanent. She brought birthday cards with 5 dollar bills in them, and small Christmas gifts when she came by. When I went to my first prom, in my junior year, she was one of the people mom invited over to take pictures of me and my date. I got a graduate card for high school and college.

As she got older, she came by less and less, but mom would go to her house and do her hair there. Mrs. Palmer loved playing cards: hearts, canasta, bridge, she loved them all. And she got mom to join a group of senior ladies who played once a month, even though mom was the age of the ladies' daughters. Mrs. Palmer drove up into her 90's, although only during the daytime and only around town at the end. She went to the YMCA twice a week and did water aerobics. She loved to walk, but she had at least one and probably both hips and knees replaced, and her body couldn't take a lot of walking. But in water, she was graceful like a dolphin. She was still living alone in her own apartment on her 100th birthday. In November 2004, six months after her 100th birthday, she came into the polls to cast her vote against Bushie cause, as she told me at the time, "I don't like that man, he snickers too much. And he's snide."

She had been in a home for over a year now, for health reasons. But she still retained her mind, calling mom in March to wish her a happy birthday. And mom said she still had her signature soft cackle of a laugh.

She was born in July 1904. At a time where there was no cellphones or regular phones for that matter, microwaves, TV's, radios, or even automobiles or electricity around here. She would have traveled, if she did, by horse and carriage. The roads were dirt at that time and not paved. There was no indoor plumbing, she used outhouses. Not anesthesia, so she had her kids the natural way, and probably had her wisdom teeth removed with no novocaine and fully awake. She was born before presidents Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush, Clinton an Bushie. Teddy Roosevelt was president when she was born. I think Queen Victoria was still on the throne. Man had not flown yet, to say nothing of gone to outer space. She probably remembered both World Wars, the Cold War, Korean War, Vietnam War, and both Iraq Wars. Russia was a monarchy when she was born.

God, what that woman saw and experienced in her life. Its truly amazing.

I hadn't seen her in a few years, not since the election in 2004. I mean, you know how life gets. But when she called mom on her birthday, mom said she asked about me and how I was doing, and was I still working where I am, and was I married yet (God love her). She was an incredible lady, that lived an incredible life.

She will be missed.

POLT = listening to "Angel" by Massive Attack

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.