Ghostie, the Dead Boy Wonder...
and Mr. David Franceschina.
And he, Mr. David Franceschina, went along despite the fact his very pregnant wife is having regular, if infrequent, contractions, and ready to calf thier second child. Hell, the kid is probably crowning even as I type this. However, since I harrassed him enough during the meal, I'll refrain from doing it any more here.
And, what you're asking yourself, did we go see this evening? Well, I'm rather embarrassed to say I'm even the one that suggested going to see it. See, Mr. David Franchina has been going nuts about this movie for months (I didn't seem this excited at the birth of his first child), and I was poo-poo the whole concept of the movie. BUt then the more I saw about it and read about it, well I felt that as an abject followers of fashion and trends that I am I HAD to see it opening weekend.
Yes kids, that's right, Uncle Polt went tonight and saw Snakes On A Plane!
It's the MOTHER fucking snakes on the MOTHER fucking plane, MOTHER fucker!!!!!
MWAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! Okay, look, there might be spoilers below so if you don't want to know about the movie, read no further.
Oh this movie was great! Freaking great! Oh it was bad. Real baaaaad, don't get me wrong. But hell, you know going in any movie with a title like that is NOT going to be Oscar caliber! And I don't recall laughing at so many death scenes in any one movie EVER. Honestly, I laughed more than i was scared. I did jump once though, however, in my defence, both Mr. David Franceshina and Ghostie jumped as well...and Ghostie is a veteran of many a Nightmare Halloween Chainsaw Massacre on Friday The 13th!
It is what it is: a crappy stupid movie with a cheesy title that's pure stupid vapid mind numbing entertainment. And it doesn't aspire to anything higher. it introduces a vertiable Towering Inferno of characters, most with just one personality trait. You know those will die in the end. Or at least you think they will. I counted 6 or 7 deaths of characters that were not just background people meant to die. They reminded me of the red shirted officers from the original Star Trek. no name, no personality, just a body there to die. And probably recognize several of the actors besides Samuel L Jackson. There's the nurse from ER, the firefighter from the other show, the guy who was the villian in a Karate Kid movie, and the fat black kid from that kid's show and SNL, etc, etc, etc. But in the end, none of them really matter, cause there just there to be terrorized anyway.
And ya know, I movie that features a cat as it's first victim of the snakes can't be all wrong! I had read they refilmed things to give it an R-rating, and I guess that from all the boobie shown in the one scene. I could put up with it, cause there's an equally hot guy shirtless with her, i mean he's steaming hot! Oh and there's several hot muscular Asian men, which was a big draw for me. Even the villian of the movie is shown shirtless and sweaty. I wanted to see more of him, just like that, but his part was kinda small. Oh, and the hot tall long-haired built Asian guy henchman was pretty easy on the eyes as well. And even the kid, Shawn, isn't bad, especially when he's shirtless, but that's not until the end.
I don't know what else to tell ya people...the movie, as I said, is what it is. I enjoyed it, it was a good laugh, with some decent eye candy. See it if you wanna, don't see it if ya don't, it's not gonna change your life either way. But I enjoyed myself. And I think they other 14 people in the theater did as well.
Oh, and if you see it,when it's over you HAVE to stay, cause there's a video, yes I said a VIDEO. A SNAKES ON A PLANE video! By some no name band. Oh it's hideously hilarious. We had to stay for it all (well, we were the only ones to do so, and I forced them to stay through it). BUt i think for 99 cents I'm gonna get it from iTunes, just to say I have it!
What can i tell ya? Snakes on a plane, man, snakes on a plane.
Oh and here's a t-shirt I found..makes me laugh....
POLT - listening to "Don't You Cry" by Guns N Roses
A troll is someone who wants you more than you want them. - Colin, Gutterboys
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