Looks to kill, straight talk sex appeal...

The lovely Bunny at Down The Rabbit Hole, tagged me with the Smut Meme. And since I’m all about Smut, this one seemed right up alley. Apparently, there are some rules (rules for Smut, who knew?) and they go a little like this:

You must title your post "The Smut Meme," you must link to Smut Meme author Isabella Snow, and you must tag 2 people, and link to them as well. Oh, and you must post these rules at the beginning.

Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna title it the Smut Meme, I usually title my posts with song lyrics, so I’ll carry that on. And as for the tagging of two other people….I’ll think about it. Having violated the rules thusly, I shall now continue onwards with the Meme itself.

1. Chocolate or Whipped Cream? What? Huh? Why not whipped cream ON chocolate? Oh, but in a sexual, smutty fashion, I’d probably have to say whipped cream. We tried that, Freddie and I and it didn’t work out so well. But with chocolate, I can just imagine that getting all stuck in and around hairs and stuff, and as I am a pretty hirsute individual, I really don’t believe I’d like that feeling too much. Not too sure about either…but crushed ice blow jobs are VERY pleasurable.
2. Leather or PVC? What? Huh? PVC pipe? What the?? I don’t even know what PVC means, so I’m gonna go with leather, although I’m not really into that either.
3. Outdoor Sex or Indoor Sex? Okay, now this one I understand. Outdoor sex, definitely. Quite a turnon, the chance of being seen and all that. But most of the sex I have is indoor.
4. In the Jacuzzi or In Bed? Hmmm, why not starting in the Jacuzzi and going to the bed? If we’re just talking strictly about one or the other, I’d have to take bed. Much more comfy, less wet, and I’ll be sweating enough on my own, I don’t help from the heated water in the tub.
5. Bad Sex or No Sex? Bad sex, cause even bad sex is good sex, cause it’s, ya know, sex!
6. Dominate or Be Dominated? When its done, I usually take the role of the dominator. Being submissive once in a while would be okay.
7. Thigh highs or Bodystocking? What? Huh? Oh, dear God, this is not for me, I hope! I just remember what Aunt Barbara said once "You should never try to get 10 pounds of luncheon loaf in a 5 pound sack!" I think my attempt at either would result in rounds and rounds of deep belly laughs…which are not condusive to sex. And I’m pretty certain I would not like to see my partner thusly attired either.
8. Fast or Slow? Hmm, well why not slow first working to fast? If I have to choose, though, I’m gonna choose fast.
9. Rough or Gentle? Well, I don’t know that I have a preference. It really depends on my mood at the time. I could do either.
10. Bite or Suck? I’m not a vampire, so I’m gonna go with suck. As often as possible, please.
11. Role play or Reality? Hmm, I think reality. I’d probably laugh during the role play, get out of character, and then the mood is ruined.
12. Dirty Talking or Dirty Talking To? Yes, both, please! I don’t normally talk dirty, but sometimes I can’t help it. Apparently I said some naughty things to Freddie once in the throes of passion that I don’t recall saying. We got a laugh outta those…although that was after the sex was over, so laughter was okay then.
13. Edible panties or No Panties? No panties, without a doubt. Freddie and I tried the edible underewear once, and that led to the laughter, which….well, I’ve already discussed that above.
14. Spanking paddle or Bare-handed? Hmm, not really into this scene at all, although there has been some open handed butt smacks a few times. A paddle, I think, would be a little more than I’m ready for, but some spontaneous spanks, that’s okay.
15. Landing Strip or Kojak? What? Huh? Um…I’m gonna assume this refers to pubic hair, and a landing strip would just look ridiculous and make me laugh (resulting in….well you know). If you’re gonna shave, trim it nicely or get it all off. I don’t need any designs, icons or advertisements to distract me when I get down there.
16. Multiple Sessions or One Good Fuck? Oh how I wish the former. Freddie was always good for multiple times, but then he was 18, so there ya go. I was mostly a bystander after the first one…but that was fun too.
17. Moaning or Screaming? Screaming would frighten me, but a good, deep throated, from-the-depths-of-your-sexual-being, toe curling moan, is quite the turnon.
18. Older Men or Young Men? Um, I did mention that my last boyfriend was 18, didn’t I?
19. Threeway or No Way? Oh threeway, all the way! There’s very little that more hot than watching two incredible sexy 18 year olds kiss each other and they kneel above your head…naked. And that was just the beginning.
20. Swing or No Swinging? If you mean switching partners, sure, I’m up for that, just as long as all four involved are all okay with it. If you’re talking about a sex-sewing, um…no. I get motion sickness, so…just no.

So now I gotta tag two other people.....hmm, I'm not I know two other bloggers that would even fill this out...although there's several bloggers whose answers I would love to know. But I digress... let me see, i think I'll tag Stephen Rader 0ver at AreYouThereBlog,, just cause his TMI answers always crack me up. And I'm certain his answers to this will as well. And i think he might answer it. And I'll tag Exile over at Exile Industries, cause I think he might answer them too. but I guess we'll see.

POLT Listening to "Map Of The Problematique" by Muse

But captain...to obey- just like that- for obedience's sake...without questioning...that's something only people like you do. - Doctor, Pan's Labrynth