Yes 'n' hey, it's good to be back home again...

So Mama and Poppa Polt are back home, they got back last night from the Bahamas. I know I mentioned about thier being held from flying into Charlotte due to Bushie flying in there. But there were a few stories I was told upon thier return.

1) At BWI in Baltimore, mom put her bag through and walked through the metal detector, and then dad put his bag through and walked through the metal detector. ANd then one of the guards pointed to him and said, "Excuse me sir, step over here please." Mom said dad's eyes got as big as saucers. But the guy just patted him down and ran the wand over him and let them continue.

There is NOTHING about my dad that says terrorist. Hell, i don't know if even HE could say terrorist without mangling it (if you knew my dad, you'd know what I'm talking about). I dont know what profiling system they were using that said they needed to check a balding/greying stooped over, pudgy 65 year old man, with clothes several decades out of style and a grumpy disposition. How does he at all fit the bill of a terrorist? Maybe they thought his mumblings was something in Farsi? Who knows?

2) One night, the decided to visit the casino there. They each took five dollars and went to different slot machines. Mom put hers in and won a couple bucks, but she just put those back in as well, and eventually had lost it all, but over about a 20 minute period or so. So then she to find dad. And when she did, his machine was flashing all these lights and making all these noises. He had won somewhere abore $750!!! They had to wait for someone to bring them the money. Once they had it, dad wanted to leave right away. But mom said they didn't want to leave right after they were given all this money, someone might be watching and waiting. So he gave her another 5 and took 5 for himself and they went back to play the slots again.

This time, mom lost the 5 bucks right away, didn't win anything. She went looking for dad again, and when she found him the machine was going all loco againg. he had won $90!!! I said that was almost enough for the cost of the trip! After winning this, though, they did leave. I thought it was great, adding to my inheritance that way.

3) One day, they went to sit out along the beach. They got into some chaise lounges and mom slathered the suntan lotion all over her exposed skin. She had bangs over her forehead, but there's a small area above her eyebrows and below the bangs that was uncovered. So she took her fingertip, put some lotion on it, and made a line right above her eyebrows. Then they laid there and they loved the warmth and the breeze blowing off the water. Unfortunately, the breeze blew her bangs up so, yep, you guessed it, she's got a not burnt line right above her eyes and the rest of her forehead is red and burnt. Ya gotta love Mama Polt, she ALWAYS has a story. And she's a natural blonde, so that might have something to do with it.

Anyway, I'm glad they're home. For some reason, I had a bad feeling about them taking this trip. They've flown before, hell, Mom flew to Boston last year, and I didn't have any bad feelings. but this time I did. I'm just real glad they were unfounded. And that they had a fun time and are now home safely.

POLT = listening to "Lucky Man" by The Verve

Yes, Boy George...just what England needs: another queen who can't dress. - Graham Norton