Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 123)...

Once more it's time for...


Well, kids, this week, Os had a theme: the Olympics. This week's HNT was supposed to be Olympically related. Well, when I think if these Olympics, all I think about is Micheal Phelps. And try as I might (and believe me, I did try) I could not think of a way to get a photo of me and Michael Phelps together.

So I thought, maybe I'd do the next best thing and try to BE like Michael Phelps. I could go to my cousin's house, they have a pool. But they, and for that matter probably everyone, doesn't really want or need to see Uncle Polt standing in a kiddie pool wearing a Speedo. The thought give me shudders.

So what else could I do to be Michael Phelps-esque? And then the idea struck me! So I give you the following, my homage to the Olympics and Michael Phelps:


I call it Uncle Polt in swimming goggles and a Speedo swimcap...in the shower. Behold and marvel at it! (and try not to snicker)

Additional funny story about this. I was amazed at how difficult it is to find swimming goggles at this time of year. Three seperate Wal-Marts were out of them, one of which had already sent "all the summer pool stuff back already". Oh they had aisle after aisle of hunting stuff and camping gear, but no swimming stuff. I couldn't find any jockstraps either, but I wasn't really looking for them and that's actually a whole other issue I guess. But I digress....

So since Wal-Mart didn't have them, I knew I'd have to go to a sporting goods store, which means money. But since this IS for HNT, so this afternoon I went to Dick's Sporting Goods (teehee...I said 'dick'), and easily found the swimming stuff. And they had goggles, OH did they have goggles...priced as high as $39.99!!!! I found the cheapest pair to cost $14.99, which is really more than I wanted to pay, but then it IS for HNT, so whatever. And right next to them was the swimcap, for a steal at $9.99.

So tonight, I opened them. And the swimcap is a remnant of lyric that looks like it's more suited to be a condom than to be stretched over my freakishly large noggin. I seriously thought there's no way this little thing is gonna be able to stretch over my head. But lo and behold, it did indead cover it nicely. And the goggles, as soon as I put them on, they suctioned onto my face like a vacuum cleaner was attached. I was amazed. And those were the cheapest version! I guess the more expensive versions do other things, like are sunsenstive, or have holographic read-outs that appear over the lens or some such thing.

But in the end, I spent nearly $25 on this HNT. On something I'll probably never use again, as I can't even remember the last time I got into a pool or the ocean...or even a jacuzzi or sauna for that matter. But for you people out there, I spare NO expense! Nor do I miss a chance to talk about Michael Phelps.

To see what other Olympic themed ideas others had, check HERE.

POLT Listening to "Hands Held High" by Linkin Park

As a kid, my dad took me to bars, but yeah, the track is okay too. - Ted, Queer Eye For The Striaght Guy